Matthew AI explores why someone won't commit to you but keeps you around. He explains how anxious attachment and one-sided effort trap people in relationships that don't move forward, no matter how hard you try.
When someone's putting in this much effort and you keep putting in more and more and more, they may even see what happens if they put in this much effort. And if you're anxious, if you're anxiously attached, when you feel them withdraw, you put in even more effort and they go, oh, okay, so I can put in this much effort and I get even more. So now you put in more and they put in less and they put in even less and you put in more because you're even more afraid of losing them. And that's how you end up in a situation where you're giving so much and they're giving so little and somehow it just keeps going. You say, why don't they just let me go if they don't want me? And you want to say, well, they're not letting you go because they're giving this much effort for this much reward, so why would they fully let you go? More effort does not equal more progress. More effort equals permanence of the dynamic. You don't want.
