In this conversational segment, Nat and Matthew AI discuss how body image insecurities affect dating decisions. Nat cites a Bumble study indicating that over half of young people would cancel a date due to perceived body flaws, highlighting a pre‑emptive self‑rejection before the date even occurs. Matthew shares a personal anecdote about a friend commenting on his physique before a tour, illustrating how minor fluctuations in shape are often unnoticed by others. They both emphasize that most people, including potential dates, do not detect small changes in body composition, and that over‑thinking these variations distracts from genuine connection. The dialogue underscores the importance of confidence and emotional focus over obsessive self‑monitoring in romantic contexts.
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There was a study that said that more than half of people would cancel a date due to poor body image.
Oh, wow.
And this was amongst, like, young people. But it was talking about, you know, a little study that was done by Bumble. But a lot of young people felt like they would cancel a date because of, like, an insecurity about their body. So even that, that's even like rejecting yourself before you've even gone on the day. It's like, because I. I might not live up to something or this person's better than me, and if I don't live up to what they are, then I'm going to be a disappointment.
It's so fascinating because if you take that example, it's. It's almost certainly not going to be something they notice, you know, like, I mean, literally last night I was having dinner with a friend and he said to me, you know, he was like, oh, you're. You know, I saw a couple of pictures of you from your tour on your Instagram. He said, do you always get in shape for your tour? And I said, well, if I'm going touring, I try and, you know, in the couple of months running up to it, I start taking my training a bit more seriously and, oh, I'm going to be on stage. If, if I feel good on stage, it's one less thing to think about, right? It's. I. I can truly just focus on. And so I understand what people feel on a date because I feel it when I go on stage. I think to myself, if I. If I'm not trying to, like, hold in my gut while I talk, then it's one less thing for me to have to think about again. I can then just go and focus on doing a great job. And I said, but then I said to him, but, Nat, right now I'm like, I'm in okay shape, but I'm not as kind of lean as I normally am. And he looked at me and he was like, I've never seen you looking any different.
Right.
He's like, you've literally never looked any different to me on any of the times I've seen you. And. And that just sums it up, doesn't it?
Yeah. Yeah.
We spend so much time measuring the. From what, for most of US is a 10 or 20% fluctuation in either direction and thinking that everyone is noticing that fluctuation. And the truth is, most people genuinely not least of which a person you're meeting for a date, they are definitely not noticing.
Yeah.
And yet it's so on our mind. And, and the great, the great tragedy of it is that what's really going to have an impact on that date is, is not our, our body difference there. That's, you know, I'm not, you know, I get there are, there's body difference and there's body difference like for, for some of us when we are truly like a world away from being in shape and that is massively impacting our self esteem and the way we feel and all of that, then that can be a real thing. But when it gets, and that's, but then it becomes not a reason not to date, but it just becomes a path you put yourself on to be healthier. But if we're putting ourselves under a microscope over what we see as a fluctuation in our body, that's not that great. But we're canceling a date because of it. We are missing the point which is that the thing that is going to be most attractive about us is how we carry ourselves is the energy that we put across. And the most unattractive thing will be all of the ways that we are self conscious and doubt ourselves and think that we're not good enough. It will not be your body. The most unattractive thing will be how much you doubt your own worth. Before you go, did you know that the MH Virtual Retreat is coming up? This is three days of coaching immersion where we're going to be working on your ability to manage your emotions, your confidence and your direction in life. I hope you'll join us. It's going to be the most amazing event. It's the best thing that I do. I really believe that. And so many people's lives are changed by this. If you want to find out more, go to MHV virtualretreat.com and I'll see you over there.
