Matthew Hussey and his brother Stephen break down six traits of a high-value man: he listens to your needs, publicly claims the relationship, grows through hard conversations, gives thoughtful gifts, keeps his own life, and doesn't use ultimatums. A practical checklist for assessing a partner or improving yourself.
I'm here today with none other than my brother, Stephen Hussie. Hello, YouTube.
We're back by popular demand.
Stephen, you did a couple of videos with us. People liked you, didn't they?
Some didn't. I dabbled.
Most did. So don't bring that. Some didn't. But that, in a way, people were.
More angry at me because they thought.
I wasn't always nice to you. Yeah, yeah. Forgetting that I've spent years with you.
And it's not always been easy.
Looked like bullying, some of them said. Yeah. Yeah, which is an insult to you really, for them to sort of think you're that frail, that you needed them to do that. Can you see Steve's knuckles in this, in the shop?
Yeah.
Just to explain, because I don't want you to think, like, people are gonna think you're a thug. We went boxing yesterday and Steve.
My gloves were a little bit painful.
So yeah, look at that, it's a mess. Let's start the video, shall we?
Let's tuck in. What was this video, this was your idea, this video? I wrote an article on the sure signs that you're dating a high value man.
I think this is useful as a video concept because when we're actually looking at what a high value man is, it not only gives you ladies a chance to discern whether the guy in front of you is any of these things, it might give you a very quick test to see if you should even carry on with someone, but it also gives you a way to educate someone so that if you're with someone and they're not some of these things, but they have the potential to be and they have the willingness to change and to grow, then this might actually give them some direction in doing so and you can be the conduit for them. Yeah, and I think some of these.
Traits are gonna be a little unexpected 'cause they're ones that you might think go against what you want but they actually are what you want in some way. Number one, he's responsive to your needs. He doesn't anticipate all your needs. Maybe it's when you're chilly, you think, oh, it would have been really nice if he offered me that coat right now or he forgot to send your mum a birthday card or a birthday text message and you thought, that would have been really nice if he did that. But if you actually tell him something where he dropped the ball, what you really want is a guy who responds to that. He might not get it all right straight away, but he's really responsive when you tell him somewhere he kind of fell short of your standards.
So he's a learner.
Yeah, exactly.
He can learn.
Yeah.
But you don't want to have to tell him every time, right?
No, you don't have to tell him every time, but it's like, you know, it's like I used to row and the best, they said the best people who were coachable are the people who would be responsive to changes. So they tell you, you need to make this change and then they go, Good response, 'cause you're really responsive and started trying to do that thing, even if you don't get it right.
Good analogy.
That's what I do.
Alright, my one. He makes it clear you're his woman. Like, you're out and a woman says something a little bit flirty to him and he like grabs your hand and locks fingers with you or he puts his arm around you or he walks over to you and gives you a big kiss.
Okay.
But I think it's really sexy to a woman when a man makes it clear in front of other women that he's with you. Pretty good that one.
I like it. My next one is he's interested in growing with you instead of just pleasing. So what I mean by that is it's a guy who's not afraid to confront the tough truths.
So because he's honest now, you're able to avoid earthquakes in your relationship later.
Yeah, and sometimes you'll be annoyed that they've brought it up. You know, sometimes if like you're with a girlfriend and she brought something up that you know is something you do wrong or if you're always late or always disorganized and you think, it's annoying she brought that up, but it is a true thing I've got to work on.
And it's better you work on it now than it destroy the relationship later on because no one's talked about it.
Yeah.
Okay, so he can confront the difficult things. Yeah. Okay, I like that. My one is his gifts reflect you, not him. A true gift that reflects someone else might be something we don't even understand.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why they want it or what's good about it, but we do it for them anyway. And you know it's about them.
It's like sometimes really hard to buy them gifts if you don't get why someone likes something so much, but you go, I know they'll absolutely love this.
Even if I don't. I actually think that that's the key to having more empathy with your partner is when you get into on a visceral level what they might like and you have to do it for them, you then can connect to that thing as well and understand more about your partner.
And that's a sign the guy's listening as well to what she's really into. Your turn. Okay. Careful Twilight fans, because you want a guy who will invest in the relationship without losing himself in it. Okay?
Why is that a Twilight fan thing?
Because everyone thinks they want Edward Cullen, okay? Or a good percentage of the book-buying public apparently do. But you don't want Edward Cullen, because you don't want a man who just falls obsessively in love with you, to the detriment of everything else in his life. You want a man who you see in the early stages, even when he's falling in love with you, he still invests in these other areas of his life. Even if that doesn't mean you're always spending 100% of your time together, you have that intense period, but he still does care about going. What's the point? He cares about going and having that dinner with his friends. He cares about going and working on that project. He doesn't just suddenly let everything else fall apart to having this singular Focus.
I'll do the last one, shall I?
Finish her off, Matt. I go home.
He doesn't threaten the relationship every time something goes wrong. Because you know that thing people do where they say, I don't know if I want to be with someone who blah blah blah. I don't know if I can keep going in this relationship if blah blah blah.
It's in the language they use when you have a fight.
Yeah, it's always, everything's always like the relationship is so conditional all the time. Not everything is a matter of relationship or no relationship. Yeah. And too often, We threaten the relationship and when we do that, we threaten the security of the person we're with. And we also rid ourselves of the opportunity to be honest about problems.
You'll make them scared. Do you say anything?
Every time there's a minor problem, that person is freaking out because they're going, Are they gonna break up with me over this? So a man's job is to make his woman feel safe and secure in the relationship. Then you can actually talk about what's wrong. Yeah. You could talk about what you need to change because she knows he's not going anywhere, but there are things we need to fix.
Yeah.
I think that's a powerful place to start.
I like it.
Before you go, leave a comment telling us one high value man trait you would add to the list that's realistic. Yeah. Not like a fantasy man thing, but like a real quality that you would add to your vision of a high value man. We'll see you soon.
Thanks so much.
Cheers, bro. He doesn't threaten the relationship every time something goes wrong. It's an important one, you idiot. It's a great thumbnail, guys.
Oh, that's good. Use that. No, really use that.
