Turning Adversity Into Opportunity: Interview With Kathy Eldon From Creative Visions

Hi guys, it's Matthew here. I am excited today to bring you someone very special to me, someone who's been a very special part of my life since I got to America, and someone who has just written the memoir In the Heart of Life. Her name is Kathy Eldon, who started Creative Visions Foundation as a way to change the world. And I know that is thrown about lightly. these days, but with Kathy, it's something that is very, very serious and happens on a very practical level. And the reason I want to bring her to you today is to introduce you a little bit to her world and take some of the lessons that I've been able to take from this amazing woman over the last year and a half, which have changed my life and changed my thinking. So, Kathy, thank you firstly for being here.

This is fun. What a great pad you have here.

This is my little bachelor pad. It's my little pets. We brought Kathy over here. Normally when I work with Kathy, I'm over at her beach house in Malibu, which is much better.

You sound like I always lived in a beach house in Malibu, and that is so not true.

She didn't. This is true. We'll get to that. I remember meeting Kathy because I got invited. The first time I did an event in LA, I got invited to do a speech at your foundation. And I had no idea what to expect and I had a bit of extra time in LA and I said, Sure, it's for a good cause. It's for, you know, these people who go out and do all of this charity work across the world. We should do it. You kind of sprang out of nowhere and said, My name's Kathy. I want to show you around and show you what we do here. And that was the first time I really knew of you and you showed me around and you showed me the story. of where this foundation came from, Creative Visions. I can't tell this story. I think it can only be told by you and your family, but I would love for you to share with my audience what you shared with me that day, because I know it's stuck with me ever since and they'll want to hear about it.

The foundation was inspired by a young man, not dissimilar to you, a tall, handsome, young Brit, who happened to be my son. And Dan had been born in England. I'm American from Iowa, but I married an Englishman. Moved to London when I was 22 years old, 23 years old, and immediately had a baby. When I was 30, we all moved to Nairobi, Kenya, which was a most amazing move with Dan, who was then seven, and his little sister, Amy. Nairobi was an extraordinary technicolor dream for me. I became a journalist. wrote about amazing people doing creative, active things that were changing the world around them. When Dan was older, he sort of took after me, followed my footsteps, became a journalist, a photojournalist, with Reuters News Agency. And he covered Somalia, which was one of the toughest stories in the world at that time. This is back in 1992-93. Tragically, Dan was stoned to death by a mob. on July 12th, 1993, and left me as completely bereft, completely broken, destroyed, devastated, guilty, knowing that I was the reason that he had died, because I'd encouraged him to follow his truth, to become a journalist, and to tell stories that mattered. Right away after his death, I knew that the only way I was going to survive it was if I transformed it, and to try to create some form of meaning. And initially we did a film about journalists at risk. We got very involved in the issues around journalism and risk. And then in 1998 we created a foundation called Creative Visions with the philosophy that we can create visions, we can envision our lives, and we can, using the tools and resources that we've been developing, really transform those ideas into action.

One of the big messages that we're always trying to instill in people in the programs that I run is this idea that meaning is something that is created. I think so often in life people go searching for meaning that is inherent in the events that happen in their lives. And of course, when awful things happen in their lives, and I think most of us would call something awful that is half of what you've been through. But everyone has their own stuff. And most people when they have something like that happen would say to themselves, well, how do I, what do you mean find meaning? What's the meaning of this situation? And one of my big beliefs is that you don't find meaning, you create meaning when something happens. And I know you share in that idea, in that philosophy. What was the idea or what was the meaning that you created for that time of your life or for everything that was born out of that? What did it, what meaning did it come out of for you?

I think initially people who've lost have suffered from loss and often the loss of someone even from a pet, a beloved pet. I always encourage people to take the energy that you would have put into that being that you love so much and find something to get excited about, you know, put it into a garden, a window box, you know, Start a.

Project.

Adopt a kid down the road to be nice to, but take that grieving energy, which is really powerful, and can either kill you off and destroy you because it's so powerful, or you can put it into something that is a growing, living entity that can make you feel joyous and happy.

Very often in life, people lose someone and they feel like they didn't get to say what they wanted to say to that person. I didn't get to tell them I loved them. I didn't get to say that beautiful thing that I wish I'd said. And we were talking the other day about the fact that if anything, that gives you the gift of knowing that there are all these other people in your life that you still haven't said the things to that you, you know, many people are saying that and they still haven't done it with the people that are there because they're too busy mourning the place that they didn't do it. And I love what you said about taking the energy you would have put there and finding a new home for that energy because there's someone still around that needs it.

Absolutely. And maybe you don't even know that person yet or maybe you haven't got the seeds for the garden yet. You know, it takes a lot of rain, it takes a lot of tears, it takes a lot of manure to really grow a proper garden. But a garden is nothing but possibility. It's a metaphor for our lives. So even if you just started with a designated window box for your transformative garden that is going to take that loss and you're going to see something that is going to grow from scratch. So in other words, you don't have to start a foundation. That's ridiculous. You can do anything that is going to take you out of that dark, dark place, which you're going to go and visit. It's not like that's going to be an overnight transformation. I think that in the West, Western cultures, it's like we are somehow programmed to think that nothing's going to happen to us, that life is all going to be perfect, and You know, and on Facebook, everything looks so perfect, but in every life, there is so many challenges. There's so much pain.

And I think it's worse than just thinking that nothing's bad is supposed to happen to me. The problem is that when something bad does happen, they then feel like they're a victim. Like the world is against them.

What happened?

Because people feel so entitled to live an average normal life where bad stuff doesn't happen. and that's when people say, why me?

Yeah. And actually, every minute's precious. And every minute's a gift. And I'm not going to get all Pollyanna and corny about it, but I think when you go and have the bad stuff happen, you realize how utterly incredible it is that we're, we're alive.

And functioning and we can have the next meal. It's like when you get sick for a week. Yes. When you get really sick for a week and by day six, you've forgotten what it feels like just to feel okay again. And then when You wish more than anything, you don't wish to feel a million dollars. You just wish to feel normal. I don't even need to feel great. Just please make me okay again. Because you realize you crave how great it feels for things just to be okay. But we forget that until we get sick or until we lose someone or some big tragedy happens and then you realize, oh, that's what life was like.

Precious.

Guys, this should be an interesting one to you because I never bring you books. It doesn't, this, do you know what? This is a momentous moment. This is the first time I've ever brought you a book. That's crazy. We have so many women that are interested in growing who follow this. What can they expect from the book itself?

This book is about love. It's really my quest for love, for love of a man, of course, love of life, love of my children. But ultimately, in the end, it's loving yourself. And if you don't love yourself, you aren't going to be able to do the rest of it as well as you might like.

My question is, because this is something we deal with when I do my bigger, kind of deeper programs, is how you achieve self-love because I think so many people find the practicality of that so difficult. They, in a way, they understand the idea, kind of. But then they go, well, but what do I, how do I achieve that today? What was your personal recipe for loving yourself more?

Took me almost the entire life that I've lived, which is a really long time, to come to terms with the fact that I had to forgive myself for all sorts of things. I had to forgive the Somali folks who killed my son. I had to forgive my son for dying. But I had to forgive myself for many, many things in my life. And I think out of that forgiveness came self-love seems a little bit drastic, but the self-acceptance and maybe compassion for myself.

Well, I think actually if you look at it as a series of steps, it starts with acceptance. Yeah. You know, and it doesn't necessarily start at love. No, it starts at acceptance. And I always say to people, when people say, well, I don't trust myself. Trust is something that's eroded with ourselves over time. And it's also something that's built. Yeah. You know, you don't have trust when you wake up in the morning. You build it by keeping to your word to yourself. going through things and behaving in a way that you said you would living life in a way that you said.

You would live it.

One of the biggest things I say as a destroyer of trust and self-trust and confidence is not keeping to your own word. You know, and it can be something as simple as saying, I'm gonna, I'm gonna read that thing I said I'd read today. And then you don't do it. And then you don't trust yourself anymore because, you know, you tell your brain, you say, we're gonna do this today.

And your brain goes, yeah, right. Exactly. You think, I'll stuff it. I'll never do it anyway, so why should I even bother to try?

Absolutely. So it's that continual sticking to your word for yourself. And I think that does lead to self-love.

Well, I love that. And I think your point about every day you wake up and you stop trusting yourself, but every day can be a new beginning. And in this book, there are so many new beginnings. I think we get up to about six or seven thousand, you know, in a way. So you must never lose confidence or trust in yourself that you can make that new beginning and that new beginning can stick.

Now, how old were you when you met Michael?

Oh, gosh. I was probably 58 or something. 58.

So that's something like that. So this is, I think that's amazing for, for so many women out there, because I got, I got women in their 30s who say, oh, I'm never gonna find a man. I'm done. You know what? I think the secret, I mean, you're.

The, you're the guru on the secrets.

No, I'm listening now.

It's the the excitement about the other person, I think, that is particularly exciting. We all think we have to be so cool in ourselves and oh my gosh, I've done this, this and this. But that's actually really boring. It's ultimately, I am really excited about who you are and embracing that being.

Because that's what a real connection is. I always say to women, there's a difference between thinking someone is an amazing man and thinking he's an amazing man for you. We can idolize many people or idolize them and think that what an amazing person that is. It doesn't mean anything in the context of a relationship. As you say, what makes the difference is when you meet someone who's excited by you. I always say, like who likes you.

Exactly.

You can't go wrong.

Follow the energy.

Exactly. So I think we've pretty much summed up life. Oh yeah, we're done.

It's easy really.

Done. you'll never need another video. I want to thank you for doing this with me. It really is a pleasure and it's so special to bring you to my audience. Please guys go out and grab this whether you grab it in the bookshops or on Amazon or by Kindle. It's In the Heart of Life by Kathy Elden.

Or borrow it from the library.

Or borrow it from the library. Don't borrow it, buy it. It's gonna be really special and it really is gonna be an amazing supplement to what we do here through these videos and through this blog. I wouldn't bring it to you if I didn't believe that. And tell us just very quickly the names of your other pieces so that... Relevant ones, the Journey is the Destination.

That is a philosophy, you know. It's got my name on it, it's a collection of my son's journals, but it will inspire people to do their own journaling. Safari is a Way of Life, you know, how do we face our lives? That's another one that will inspire. Angel catcher, love catcher, and soul catcher all will turn people onto their own power. Everything I do is about turning people onto their own power. It's not about me at all.

That's perfect. That's perfect. Well, guys, we're gonna link these up underneath the video, and thanks for joining us. We really appreciate it. Take care, guys.

Thank you, Matt.

All right.

So much fun.