In this monologue, Matthew Hussey (referred to as Matthew AI) denounces the allure of unrequited love, labeling it masochistic worship rather than genuine affection. He argues that chasing someone who doesn’t reciprocate is a waste of time and energy, and that people should prioritize partners who invest equally in the relationship. Hussey outlines a progressive investment model: start with a small amount of effort and trust, then increase it only as the other person matches that investment, likening the process to building a castle together. He stresses the importance of assessing where one stands on a partner’s list of priorities, measuring a person by the effort they actually put in, not by idealized fantasies. The talk differentiates between merely liking someone and truly respecting them, urging listeners to reject “flaky” partners and focus on mutual, constructive effort to create a lasting, unique bond.
Chapters
I can't be attracted to someone who doesn't want me back. That's not attractive. That's masochism right there. That's what it is. It's this weird thing we do to ourselves. Unrequited love, unrequited love. Like it's a romantic thing. I love him, I love him, I love him. What's the problem? He doesn't love me back. What the fuck is wrong with you? That's not love, that's worship. And we've become attached to this idea of unrequited love, because it somehow gives us a righteous cause to chasing someone who treats us like shit. I am ruthless with ditching people that don't give me energy. There are seven billion people on this planet. I have zero time for flakes, for people that don't try very hard. I know so many women who, they get a guy for an hour a week, or they get a guy for one night a week, and then they're like, I just want to see him more. But you don't understand, we have an amazing connection. We're great together. When we're together, it's fireworks, there's chemistry, we have such a great time. Well, that's a really dangerous thing to base investment off of. When I invest a little bit, does he meet me there? Oh, I'm attracted to you? Okay, let me invest a little. Do you invest back? Oh, you did? Okay, let me invest a little bit more. I don't think relationships are easy. But the part where you say, I want to see you, He says yeah, I want to see you that should be fucking easy relationships aren't always equal But they can't always be unequal in the same direction He says he has no time, but I see him doing all of these fun things well guess what that's what he's choosing to do with his time. Let's see what happens. Aren't we having fun? This is amazing isn't it? Is it magical for you too? Cuz it's magical for me. Let's keep going no one can waste your time only you can waste your time. I'm gonna allow you to put in that five percent of amount of effort that allows you to get five percent of my trust, then 10% and 15% and so on. That's how any relationship is built. You don't start with the trust, you build the trust. You need two people who actually are willing to construct a castle together and it takes effort and it takes investment and it takes two people who really want to do it. And as you build the castle, it becomes more and more beautiful. It becomes more and more yours. The weather starts to erode the stone in beautiful and unique ways that make that castle unlike any other castle in the world. And a castle you can only get by finding a genuine builder. You don't have a builder, you just have a connection. The right question is where do I sit right now on his list of priorities? But there is a difference between liking someone and respecting someone. And when you talk to guys, measure them based on their investment, not based on what you want them to be. The message is so important.
