Matthew AI argues that you need to know what actually matters to you in a partner before you can say no to attractive people who'll hurt you. Without a clear list of non-negotiable traits, you'll chase the shiny ones instead of the solid ones.
What qualities in a person am I going to value? Forget how sexy someone is or how alluring they are or how eligible they may seem or how impressive they'll seem to my friends or whatever it is. What are the qualities that if I don't get those, nothing else matters. You have to know that going in. Otherwise, how do you know what to say no to? Because plenty of shiny people will come along in your life and many of them will ruin your life. You need to have a way of knowing what to say no to and what to pay attention to.
