Want Men to Approach You? Use These 4 Harmless Words (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

I'm in Chicago right now. Let's do something a little different this time. Is there anyone in Chicago who wants to actually talk to us about dating in Chicago? Because let's face it, human beings are human beings no matter where they are. That's what connects all of us. We're not so different after all when we really boil it down. But there are differences in Culture and geography and I want to find those out. So for this little episode of whatever this is, we found three women who are gonna talk to us about Chicago. Huh, I see the vlog sites. Whoop-de-woo got a new wife. Shorty got a new boo. Yeah, love beautiful love.

My name is Christina. I've lived in Chicago for four months. My name is Loren and I first came to Chicago in 2009. My name is Marina Lambropoulos and I've lived in Chicago, I'm a local native, so my whole life. Men here are really willing to go out and have a good time with a woman and they're very thirsty for a woman's attention. The typical Chicago guy, I would say, is easy going, chill, doesn't necessarily know what he wants. He likes to hang out with his guys, goes out with his guys on Friday, Saturday. Let's just go with the flow and see where this goes. That's the Chicago guy that I commonly run into. Kevin Bond. I'd swipe left. No, you wouldn't actually. She's a term rare. She's a term rare. Yeah, she's a term rare. Where's the chest hair with the gold chain?

Hello there.

How are you? Hi.

So good to see you.

Matthew, what's your name?

Marina. Marina.

Christina, nice to meet you.

Yeah, how are you?

Lovely, thanks. Good to see you.

You look lovely. Thank you.

My name is Loren. Well, hi Loren, how are you? I'm great. I see you already cracked open the champagne. Yeah.

This is, can I join you?

Of course.

So it's so exciting to see you guys. You're all living here, of course. Yeah. Okay, well, I want to hear it all from you guys. I have lots to ask. You guys come grab a seat and let's talk. I want to really debrief with you guys. You have to teach me. Ladies, make some noise. We're in Chicago right now. This is the first time I've ever been able to do a live video from the stage. So make some noise for people around the world right now. I've been here on tour a few times now and it's sort of, I feel like it's such a beautiful city and has so much character. What are some of the great things about dating here? What would you say? I'm glad I'm here for my love life.

There's pretty people everywhere. I love dating here. It is the best.

So what do you love about it?

I love the fact that there's, like she was saying, tons of different people. It's multicultural. There's always something to do here. You can always meet new people around the corner. I love Chicago too, but I can't find love here. But what is good about Chicago is that there are so many people and there are so many different types of people.

Yeah.

So, but then there's also the other side of that is because there's so many people, you're like, well, I should be able to find somebody.

You're out. you want to speak to people. Take the pressure off and just do this. Whenever someone is close to you, you go, hey, how's it going? You walk to the bar. Someone's near you. Hey, how's it going? Bartender. Hey, how's it going? Hey, how's it going? Yeah, good.

They might say nothing.

That's fine. You haven't asked anything, really. But if they're like, yeah, good. How are you? You're like, yeah, I'm great. Thanks. Grab your drink. You say, anyway, have a great night. What was your name? What's your name? Kimberly Kimberly cheers. Have a great night. You walk off But now I see Kimberly an hour later and she's walking through and I'm like hey Kimberly, how's your night? She's like Kimberly only came out with two friends tonight. I'm now her best friend in the whole place so we do this with people you could do this for 10 people in 10 minutes who do you think someone's gonna come up to an hour in the person who hasn't said a word to them or the person who's actually engaged them already? Who do you think they're more likely to approach? So you can spend the first 30 minutes of your night being approachable so that you get approached the rest of the night. Do you tend to meet people in the night time or the daytime?

No, not at the night time. I feel like I find more attractive or people that I'm attracted to during business hours, during my lunch hour when I'm going for lunch.

Do you start conversations?

Yes. So that has been tough. Like when, you know, there's a Starbucks right downstairs from where I work and taking advantage of those situations I'm putting my phone away.

We may have set up a rule that we can only meet people when we go out in the evening to socialize. That if we were to meet someone in a daytime, that would be weird. That would be a strange thing. That we couldn't possibly meet someone going about our day-to-day business. We must meet someone when we go out at night. We might perhaps have to look at this a little differently and say, if I want more opportunities with men, I am going to have to create them. I cannot wait for them to happen to me. If I sit there and wait and wait and wait and wait, nothing happens. Now I think a lot of us have convinced ourselves that nothing's happening for us because there's something wrong with us. Instead of actually understanding that maybe nothing is happening for us because we're not making anything happen.

I had a date from Uber where I basically, this is so embarrassing, I basically got my receipt in the mail. He was so cute and I acted as though I had lost something in his Uber so I called it, called the Uber line and I was like, hi, it's Christina. I had a really great time talking to you. I was just wondering if you wanna go out. He's like, I'm so flattered. Yes. So he came and picked me up and I was like, do I sit.

In the back seat or the front?

That's fantastic.

Yeah. That's fantastic. Yeah, that was good. What a great story. If we all had that level of certainty, we wouldn't have very many problems in our love lives. 'Cause it's that kind of certainty that makes us attractive. I think people always think I'm being slightly sarcastic when I talk about how much I really love America, but I love being here and I love the different subcultures within it. So you teach me as much as you can about Chicago and I'll try and make sure that Saturday is a day you feel was worth it for you guys. And I want to hear from you guys afterwards.

Yeah, I'll do it. Follow me on Twitter. It's @JL I'll be there. Thank you.

There are so many different subcultures within America. so many different Americas, it's incredible. But we must never take for granted where we are. Even within America, you're in Chicago, for most of you. You guys live in an incredible world of opportunity here. And you should never, ever take it for granted, because trust me, whatever excuses you think you have for your love life in Chicago, just imagine the excuses you'd have to be using elsewhere.

Thank you, Matt. I mean, he called me out on the like, you can either wait or create. I was like, oh, I've been procrastinating my love life. So thanks for calling me out. I needed that. You know, you can listen to what Matthew's saying, you can take notes, and you can reread it, but you have to put the advice and the tips into action. And that's where core confidence comes in. And that's definitely something that I want to build on and continue to build on. And it really struck a chord with me today. I think that he really inspired me to do that. I'm ready to do it tonight.

You guys going out tonight?

We're going out tonight. Yep. Good on it.

I really love Chicago. I think anyone who lives here is lucky to be finding love here. Many times we complain about people having too much choice in a city like this. And I've heard that complaint this weekend. But the reality is there are so many options. you walk down the street and there's new people every day to meet and try your hand with in love. And I think that's an amazing thing. I think we must never take for granted just how much potential a city like this offers. I see the vlog sites. Whoopie whoop got a new wife. Shorty got a new boo. Yeah, love you. But love, love, love, love, love. I'm happy being single. Girl, I wish that I could find you.