Want More from the Men You Date? Here's How to Get it (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

See the blog sites. Whoopie whoop got a new wife, shorty.

Got a new boo.

Yeah love beautiful but love love love.

Love love you gotta be the right one. So we arrive in Dallas and I have to do the exact same thing I did last time which is get a car straight to Kid Craddick. Kid Craddick is the local radio station. I did their whole show. and we talked all about love and relationships.

If you talk about what matters to.

You, you'll have no problem talking. The problem is that people think it's their job to talk about things that don't matter to them on a date. And that's when they'll run out of things to say because they're trying to fabricate interest. But the highlight, of course, was my mum arriving. Mama!

I need to make you cry.

I decided I wanted to fly my mum out to Dallas to be with us for a few days. Why did you fly her out? I flew her out because we, I always, I don't think you get enough time in life with the people you love and you can't wait for perfect moments. You have to make those moments and steal them in times that you can find. So I feel like everyone waits for that week-long holiday they can have with everyone they care about and instead I'd steal them wherever I can. So I had a bit of an idea, Mum, because you're obviously a hit with the ladies. Wherever we go. So you know the first time we did Love the Journey, it was kind of just us traveling around.

Yeah.

This time we did it so that we were actually talking to the women in each city. I think you should be the person that goes out there and actually finds the people and brings them back, because you're gonna be the most charming, and they'll think you're sort of innocent and non-threatening, won't they?

I am. Hi ladies, I'm Matt's mum, I'm Pauline. Lovely to meet you. Matt's doing a project at the moment with Jamieson, his cameraman, and he's backstage and everywhere he goes he's doing an interview with women to just see what they feel about dating in that region where they come from. Because I wonder if any of you would like to come back and meet Matthew and just be on camera while he asks you a few questions about dating in Dallas. Would that be okay? Would you all like to come?

Wanna come?

Hello, guys.

Hi, how are you?

Hello. Hi.

Go grab a seat in my informal little classroom. I'm actually looking to you for information.

Here, so I feel like you're the ones that I need to ask the questions of. I'm so happy to see you on this Saturday.

Thank you so much for coming out to see me. I appreciate it more than you know.

I'm excited to be doing this with you today. Before I came in to this room here, before I approached the stage, I.

Had the wonderful privilege of talking to.

Four or five or five or six.

I should say, women backstage who we kind of selected at random and just said, Do you want to come and have a chat? And talk about dating in Texas.

I like to know a bit of the local flavor. I like to understand where I am. so that what I do is not simply generic, but I can begin to understand some of the issues.

And it was really wonderful and fascinating. It reminded me of the shit you.

Guys have to deal with. What is the stereotypical Texas man? I'd like to know that.

Well, I mean, I'm only 23, but I've noticed that they're not very mature, is what I've noticed. It's like a really big thing.

And mature in what sense?

Signs of immaturity.

More looking for a woman to take care of them. Then you get them to step up their game and be more of a partner or a helpmate. But more of you being able to bring them up and bring them up to be a helpmate to them.

In what ways do you think?

Job wise, status wise, I think in, in, in all ways.

They want a lot. They don't want to give a lot.

But they want a lot.

Yeah.

Yeah. And how does that manifest in terms of how much of your, how they want you to come to them instead of you having to go to them?

They don't drop me off at the doorstep anymore. They want me to go to their house constantly. I, they never come to my house. Always talking about, oh, you know, meeting their needs met, whether it's sexual or just emotional or just needing career advice. Yeah, I would have to compromise my goals in order to meet his needs the way that he wants them to.

And even just something as simple as.

Talking to those few wonderful ladies I.

Just talked to reminded me why I do this.

My best friend in the world is my mom. Where, mom, are you there? She's right there in the corner. Yeah.

And I know that if my mum.

Were sitting there right now having perhaps just come out of a relationship, perhaps been single for a long time, perhaps looking for connection or trying to figure out where she should be getting that connection or in what ways, if she were in this room in somebody else's hands for a day, I would want them to look after her and treat her with enormous respect and give her the best advice possible and not say things for effect, but because they truly could help.

My personal thought is that people have lost the art of dating and then they just want to go out and they just don't take time to meet each other and go through the recording phase and the dating phase anymore. And when you meet people they don't want to do that dance with you.

If there is one thing I have learned about what it is to take control in our love lives, it is this. We start by thinking of all of.

The things that we want the license to ask of our future partner and then we work on being all of those things ourselves.

What license do I want to say to my partner? This is my standard. I need it to be yours too. What do we want those standards to be? And then starting today.

We better begin working on being those things.

Do you need to be every single.

One of them at the highest level to attract an extraordinary partner? No, because because we are a work in progress.

But in order to begin to attract.

The people we want to attract, we.

Better start by playing at the same.

Standard we're asking for.

Here it's like you kind of have to work more to really get into that circle, to really get to know people. It's like people are a little bit more kind of wanting to fill you out.

What we put into the world.

At.

A level that is significant we will have reciprocated. So I'm with my mom in San Diego on the retreat. We have a couple of hundred women who have come to work with us for five days. And my mom is talking to a bunch of people that are from New York. And these women say to my mom, I'm so sorry for how cold the people are in New York. And my mom said, people in New York cold? She said, that's not what I've had. And they looked at her like she was an alien.

Right?

And she said, She said, I've found people in New York to be so warm and welcoming. I think they're fantastic. I'll tell you why that is. We'll be in a shop, my mum will be buying a pair of shoes or a bag or something, she'll be at the counter opposite a person who's dead in the face because no one has said a human word to them all day. And then she'll look at them and she'll go, I'm on holiday. And you see this person suddenly wake up out of their coma and they look at her and they go, you are? Oh, where are you from? She'll go, London. And they'll go, that's amazing. She'll go, yeah, I just, I'm having such a good time here. And they'll be like, oh my God, that's so great. What have you done? She'll start having a conversation with them. She'll be like, People in New York are so nice, but that's not everybody else's experience that day of that individual. So she goes in like that. You want people to flirt with you more? Flirt with people more. You want people to smile more? Smile at them more. You want people to create more sexual tension with you and tease you more? Tease them more. You want people to be more genuine and vulnerable with you? Open up and tell them some vulnerable shit about you.

So what did you think of the people in Dallas, mum?

I thought they was absolutely great. They were so friendly. I was really surprised that.

Why were you surprised?

Because I thought we'd be in a city, it would have lost its charm and the people would be rushing around. But they're still so friendly and laid back.

Every time I've been to Dallas, I've always found them to be. so lovely and so engaged, like they want to have conversations with you. And yet, when we were talking to the group of women before the event, what's so funny is that they had so many of the same complaints as everywhere else. See, part of me thinks we see the superficial side of it, where we walk around and we're like, we're all romantic about it, because the people here have to live here every day and experience those people every day. And then the more optimistic side of me thinks, well, maybe the challenge for all of us where we live is to go back to seeing it with more romantic eyes. Okay, you and I are going to New York right now. Jameson, you're going back to LA. So let's make it our mission for the next week to be really romantic about the places we're in and fall in love with them as if we just moved there.

Yeah, because I really did fall in.

Love with the Dallas. And for all the people at home, they can wherever you live right now, make it your mission just for the next seven days to fall in love with the place that you live in. Even if you've lived there your whole life, fall in love with it all over again.

I see the vlog sites. Ooky woop got a new wife, Shorty.

Got a new boo.

Yeah, love beauty.

I'm happy being single. I wish that I could find you.