In this video, Matthew Hussey (presented as “Matthew AI”) addresses a selection of viewer comments that criticize men’s flirting style. He explains that many men use a subtle, incremental approach rather than a bold, direct advance, because they gauge a woman’s reciprocal signals before committing to a full‑on approach. He deconstructs common backlash – labeling men as “cowards,” “beta,” or “pussies” – and argues that such judgments stem from a misunderstanding of the social dance of flirting and from a lack of empathy. Hussey highlights how both men and women suffer when they harshly label each other: men are unfairly shamed for their hesitancy, while women miss out on potentially great partners by only responding to overt, aggressive advances. He stresses that everyone experiences fear of rejection, insecurity, and moments of weakness, and that recognizing this shared humanity fosters compassion toward oneself and others. The monologue ends with a call for more nuanced conversation, an invitation to keep debating, and a teaser for the next video.
Chapters
People often say that I don't read enough comments, so I'm gonna answer some of them today. So last week we made a video on the subtle ways that men flirt. We poked a bit of fun at guys and it was a bit silly, but some of you really understood the point we were making about how men often find it difficult to overtly flirt with someone. They're always trying to strike that balance between being shy and then being over the top and creepy and aggressive A lot of you really got that, you understood it. You even saw parts of it in yourself and the way you flirt. Some of you were just plain mean about men. I'm equal opportunity. You guys know when men are mean and when you need defending, I'm right there with you. But, you know, don't be mean to my brothers or I'm gonna come for you. Daydreamer3 says, this is one of the saddest things I've seen in a while and it illustrates perfectly why so many women are single. My God, what cowards men are today. Why can't a man just grow a pair and go up to a woman and show actual interest? That's what they used to do back when men really pursued women for sex. What? She go, I feel like she's hurting her own point there. Now they are too emasculated or just plain gay to do it. Sad. That sounded like chump at the end. SAD. Why is Donald Trump commenting on our videos? Wait, Daydreamer 3, why are you so angry? Why are you calling everyone cowards just because they're a bit subtle about the way they flirt sometimes? And by the way, I'm not saying men are always subtle. What I'm saying is, at certain moments they're subtle and at other moments they're not. But let me tell you about the moment where he decides to actually approach a woman in the way you're talking about Daydreamer 3. He does it when a woman responds to his subtle moments, when he flirts a little bit and she gives him a bit back, that's when he's like, oh, okay, I will go up to that woman. But he doesn't usually just run up to the woman who he's had no eye contact with, no connection with, not even a smile. By the way, you're shooting yourself in the foot because there's actually a fun little subtle dance between that initial flirting that isn't just a guy running up to you and being like, hey, I like you based on nothing, based on not knowing anything about you. Because this is the other thing. People get angry when a guy's, oh, you just came up to me because I'm pretty. Oh, you're so shallow. You just. Well, what else was he gonna come up to you about? That's all he knows about you. What's he gonna say? I love what you've done with your career. Oh, I love your intelligence. I could just see you the size of your brain from outside your head. He doesn't know any of these things about you. All he knows is you're attractive. But when he's flirt subtly, there's a moment where we flash each other a slight smile from across the room, where we both get to say, you're not just attractive. active, but I feel a little connection with you too. And based on that, I'm gonna come over and speak to you. These were some of the comments on Facebook. Sarah says, He's a f*cking p*ssy. That's too rude. Let's cut that out. Valentina says, Just like a man is not supposed to read a woman's mind, we can't read theirs. Make it easy. Want something? Just say it. You just defeated your own point. Men can't read women's minds either. So they don't know if you want them to come over. They don't know if you're deep in a conversation with a friend who you haven't seen in three months and you guys are having a nice time and don't want some douchebag coming over and saying, you look really pretty tonight. He can't read your mind. He's trying to. That's why he gives you a little smile. That's why he walks past you a few times to see if you in any way show him a sign that it's okay to come and talk to you. He's trying to read your mind. Omar says, That is beta male behavior, but it's 100% accurate. Call video. Well, thank you for the compliment on the video, Omar. But this is like part of the problem. This beta male thing, this is stupid. This is like a, this no better than slut shaming. When people talk about, oh, we shouldn't slut shame women. Well, why then are we taking men and saying they're beta or they're pussies? Because they can't go and talk to a woman so easily, just like that. Like Omar, you never get scared when you talk to a woman, ever. You never see someone who you think is really gorgeous and think, oh God, my heart's pounding a little. I'm not quite sure how to go and talk to her. And she looks over and you sort of get caught rabbit in the headlights and you go, All right, you never have that moment. You're not human if you don't have that moment. You're a liar. You have that moment. So now you're beta as well. Great, Omar, we're all betas. Haley says, How about a video that tells men to stop doing these seven things? Put their big boy Abdu Roz on. What are Abdu Roz? A real man. A real man. A real man. A real man has no problem going after a woman he truly wants. How much can he f***ing want you after three seconds of looking at you? What are you talking about? You think that I walk into a bar and go, I just truly want her. woman that I just saw. The way she is sipping on that mojito, I must have her. Would you... No, you go, she's all right, the one drinking the mojito. Probably try and talk to her at some point tonight. Is she looking now? No, she's not. I'll probably go up to her later on. Maybe. If she smiles at me or whatever. If she looks mean and aggressive and someone that shames men or she looks like the sort of person that defines real men as the aggressive ones that come over all the time, I probably won't. By the way, these weren't the majority of comments. These were a small, small percentage of the comments were saying this. But I felt it necessary to address these because it's just such a fundamental misunderstanding of human behavior and just an incredible lack of empathy and love for human, not for men, for just human beings in general. Evelyn agrees. She says, we all wish guys were more straightforward, yet if that ever happens, We think a guy is a creep. LOL, hashtag society. That's sort of true, isn't it? I understand that. That's what us men are afraid of, by the way. We don't want to be that shy guy who can't do anything, but we're also afraid if we do do something that we're gonna be judged, that you're gonna think of us as brash or obnoxious or arrogant or just one of those guys we look at and think, I don't wanna be like that guy. And lastly, Meg says, and now I realize all of my missed opportunities. that to me was the entire point of last week's video. We miss opportunities every single day. We do ourselves no favors by labeling people who act a certain way, by saying, oh, if he can't, if he doesn't have the balls to come up to me, I don't want him anyway. That's a beta guy. If he can't do that, he can't hang. I have had plenty of times, I'm not going to say in my life, in my last week, where I saw someone I thought was cute and I did nothing. Does that make me insecure? Does it make me beta? Does it make me a guy who's awful for a relationship? None of those things may be true. But if someone makes those assumptions, they lose out on an opportunity. And I know that women are missing out on great guys everywhere because they're responding to this tiny percentage of people who are coming over to them and being super outgoing and ignoring the vast majority of guys. Many of them great ones, not all of them, but many of them great ones. great ones who just didn't happen to on that day in that moment, run over to them and start a conversation. That is a tragedy. And by the way, I could, for those people that were such unbelievably harsh judges of men and so quick to put really mean labels on, I can't imagine how mean those people are to themselves. Because in my experience in life, when we're that quick to judge other people and label other people, we're very good at turning that inwards as well. My passion and my empathy for people, when I see another human being and maybe they're struggling to say something or struggling to make a move, I see myself in that person. And that empathy breeds connection and love and it brings me together with people. But it also, that empathy allows me to be kind to myself in certain moments. You have to be aware that if you're judging other people that harshly, Firstly, you're distancing yourself from people because you're not recognizing the humanity in other people. And secondly, you're distancing yourself from you because you're not recognizing the humanity in you either. Because the idea that you never have moments of weakness, that you never have moments of fear and not wanting to be rejected, never being insecure, never being self-conscious is a lie. It's not real. You have that part of you. I step on stage and I deliver powerful speeches every time I go. If you've ever seen me live, you know, I get on stage and I rock it. And yet in my day to day, I still have those moments. So who the hell are these people that never have them? I've never met them. I hope you have a great day. I can't wait for next week's video. You are gonna love next week's video, by the way. Thank you for watching last week's and thank you for this engagement. I love the debate. I get fired up because I care and I'm passionate and I want you to keep debating with me. I'll see you next time.
