Matthew AI argues that identifying what was missing in past relationships—chronic anxiety, feeling unheard—is more important than finding someone who seems great. These gaps are non-negotiable and no amount of partner appeal can fix them. Know what you actually need before choosing again.
What are the most important qualities for a long lasting relationship? Well, I think it's worth us asking what was missing in my past relationship that even though I told myself this person was so important, I really didn't want to lose them. What did they not have or not give you that made your life miserable? Okay, start with those things. And it's powerful to start with those things because you already have a reference point for the fact that when they were missing, it didn't matter how great you thought the person was. You were really deeply, deeply unhappy. Yeah, it doesn't matter how great someone is if you don't. If you feel anxious all the time, it's is misery. Yeah. So nothing is worth me making that a negotiable thing ever. So ask yourself what was missing and then make that your precedent for what your expectation is or what you must have next time around.
