Matthew Hussey breaks down when rekindling a past relationship makes sense and when it doesn't. He explores the emotional reasons people want exes back and offers practical guidance on whether to pursue reconciliation or move forward.
I've been doing a lot of thinking recently about the subject of wanting your ex back. Wanting to be back in a relationship with someone that you were with before you liked a lot. Maybe you loved, maybe you felt they were the love of your life. We spend a lot of time agonizing over people that were in our past. And as I say this, someone might come to mind for you that you were in love with. Maybe you still are in love with them. And if you're honest, you really want that person back. Now, for some of you, you say that openly, you would tell your friends, your family. No, everyone around you knows that you want to be back with this person. For others, you're hiding it. You would never tell your friends that you're still in love with this person. You would never tell them that. You would drop everything to be back with them because you'd be embarrassed to say that, especially once you've told everyone that you're over him and that you're moved on. But the reality is you still have feelings there. And in thinking about this subject, I thought a lot about whether you should even want your ex back. Because whenever people would come to me and ask about an ex, and it happens all the time, every single seminar that I do, there will be an enormous number of women that will come up to me and ask how to rekindle love with someone that's been in their past. Every time this has happened, I've always, always wondered quite what to say, because of course there are ways to get someone back. But the truth is, I'm not sure if people should have their ex back. What are the reasons for wanting your ex back? There are some good ones and there are some bad ones. The bad ones, I feel lonely. Feeling lonely is a bad reason alone to want your ex back because it doesn't mean they're right for you. It just means that you're lonely. If someone else came along tomorrow, you might not want your ex back anymore. That's a good litmus test, by the way. If another guy could come along tomorrow and be a distraction and not make you want your ex anymore, it's not that you want your ex. You just want somebody. And your ex is someone that's comfortable to you right now, and that's why you gravitate towards them. In some ways, it's kind of a better the enemy, you know, type thing. You go for the devil, you know, other reasons you might want your ex back, you have a great connection with that person. But even having a great connection with someone doesn't necessarily mean you're supposed to be with them. We can have a great connection with many different people. It doesn't make them right for us. I can have connections with people that are terrible for me, that if I spent too much time around them, my life would get worse because they don't have the same standards in their life as I do in mine. Another reason people want their ex back is because they have an incredible attraction for that person. They feel either physically attracted or they're attracted to their personality, their mind. And again, these are good reasons to be around someone, sometimes to have power, passionate relationships with someone. But that's not necessarily a good reason to be in a relationship with someone over the long term. We can all think of people in our lives who we've had plenty of passion with, plenty of attraction, but when it came down to it, if we spent too much time with that person or we tried to really build a future with that person, it didn't work out. We also shouldn't want our ex back if we're convincing ourselves that the bad habits that they have, the things that they have that we don't like, the value systems they have that we don't agree with if we think they're going to change. Because most people, and don't get me wrong, I'm a big believer in change. That's why I do what I do. But most people do not change. Most people stay exactly the way they are. So hoping, wishing, waiting for someone to change and thinking that if you get back with them, you're somehow going to mold them into the person that you want to be is a very poor strategy for happiness. So all of these reasons are bad reasons to get back with your ex. For nine out of 10 of you, that logic should eliminate the desire to get back your ex. Let me, I'll rephrase that. It won't eliminate the desire to get back your ex. The desire will still be there. But it might make you sit back and reassess and go, actually, yeah, I probably shouldn't want this person back. I need to move on. And if you're those 9 out of 10 people, move on now. In fact, pause this video now. Don't watch till the end of it. I don't even want you to hear what I'm about to say. Just move on. Watch my other videos, most of which 95% of which are all about moving on in your life, meeting new great people and creating opportunity. If you are the 1 in 10 that should actually want this relationship back, because it was precious. Because you loved each other, because something went wrong. That maybe it wasn't either of your faults or it was just a timing issue. And you think, you know what? We are supposed to be together. I know it. Then I have something for you. I have been working very, very hard on a program that I never thought I'd release. I never even thought I'd create it in the first place. All about how to get your ex running back to you. It's kind of a big deal for me. I can't say very much more right now. But what I can say is I have put together a video for you which is going to start to explain the process. Now, this video that I have is going to help you understand the psychology of why that person broke up with you in the first place. And I'm saying I'm going to go deep into the psychology, not just what they told you, because we all know there's a difference between what someone tells you and what they actually mean. And. And in some cases, there's a difference between what they think they mean and what's really going on for them. So think of those three layers. What they're telling you, what they think is the truth, and what is really the truth. That's why I want to explain in this video and I want to help you understand what's going on in a man's mind after a breakup. So now that he's not with you anymore, what's happening in his mind now? What's he going through? And how can you use this information to your advantage? Very, very excited for you to see this video. All you need to do to watch it is go to xbackroadmap.com okay, we'll link it up here. We'll link it up under the video. Xbackroadmap.com Go check it out. I'm very proud of this video. I'm excited. If you think. If there is one doubt in your mind over whether you want your ex back, don't watch the freaking video. Turn this off now. Don't click it. If you honestly think that you want that relationship back, come. Come with me. I'm about to take you on a journey. I'll see you on the other side.
