Who Should Pay On A Date? From Matthew Hussey, GetTheGuy

Hello and welcome. My name is Matthew Hussey, creator of Get the Guy. Thank you for watching and thank you for staying up to date with the blog. The video responses have been incredible. We've had so many shares on Facebook and people retweeting them. I mean, I never thought that it would be that successful. So thank you so much. And if you haven't already seen the other videos that I've created, we've created some fun videos recently. You can go and see them if you're not already on here. GetTheGuy.co.uk/blog. You can go see more of my videos there. The response has been really, really amazing. So I'm trying to step this up a notch each week and kind of make it a bit more professional and do what I can. It's not always gonna be the case, but I'm trying my best. So I have here, I'm like a news reporter today. I have a couple of cue cards. I don't know if I'll need them, but we'll see. I also feel a bit like I'm in a Mac advert right now. I've got kind of the black t-shirt going on. I've got the laptop here, but I'm not endorsing Mac right now, although I do really like them. It does feel a bit like an Apple advert. I'm excited to have you here. Let me run through a bit of news before I dip into the content today. And I know you're gonna love the content today. It's something quite interesting and a question that I really get asked a lot. Some news. Well, A, the response to the blog has been amazing. My hair got a little shorter, my stubble got a little longer. I have a new program on the horizon. For those of you who have been emailing me and getting in touch saying, when are you going to do something abroad or when are you going to do something for all those people who are not in London? I know you're a little peeved at me because most of my programs are in London. I have something very special coming up for you. I can't tell you too much yet, but stay tuned because it's going to be something that is really going to allow you to go through that process. And that's from wherever you are in the world. I'll keep you up to date on that. And lastly, I am recording the penultimate episode of the MTV show this week. So that will be filming in Ibiza, which it could be worse. I could be filming here in London on a rainy day. So I'll be going to Ibiza for a couple of days this week to film that episode and once again transform a woman live on camera. So that's the idea. I'll keep you up to date on that and the last episode of the show. Right, what do I want to talk about today? I want to talk about who pays on a date? Awkward subject. Men and women not really knowing where they stand. I'd like to throw in my two cents and my experience and let's see where we get to. Firstly, my big opinion is that extremes are bad. So as a woman, the worst thing that you can do is always insist on paying. That's one extreme. And the other extreme is that you never pay and that you never even offer to pay. Okay, now both of these extremes, they don't work. I've seen people go to both sides. I've dated people who go to both sides and neither of them are very attractive. There is a healthy midpoint. Now, imagine you're on a first date with a guy. I don't know, let's say you went to dinner, not the best first date, but let's imagine you're there and the bill comes up. Now, on that first date, it's quite important as a woman. In fact, it's very important. that you offer to pay, okay? If a guy goes on a date with you and you don't even reach for your purse, he starts to panic a little bit because he knows instinctively that right now on a first date, you're gonna be more polite than you probably ever will be again. You know how it is with strangers or people you don't know that well, you're polite, you go out of your way. If you don't even reach for your purse then, he starts to freak out a little bit and think, well, she's never gonna offer. If she doesn't do it tonight, she's never offering. So at least reach for your purse, even if you're old fashioned and you think the guy should pay. My mom's like that. She'd say, I'd never go out with a bloke who didn't pay for me. That's fine, okay? If you're old fashioned, that's cool, but reach for your purse at least, at least pretend, give it the gesture that you're gonna pay. Now, if the guy sees that you're willing to pay, he's gonna feel that much better about the gesture. Us guys, we love surprising women. You know, if we can impress them, we love it. And so if we do pay, if we do offer to pay, make a fuss of it. Make a deal of it. We like that. That's what makes us want to do it again. It's like when we give a woman a present, what makes us want to give a woman another present? Well, it's when she goes crazy at the first one, because we feel good. We feel like, you know, wow, I'm really doing something cool here. So have a reaction. And if you do offer to pay and he, let's say for example, he says, no, no, no, I'll pay. Don't do the thing of going, no, let me pay, let me pay. Like, don't fight him at that point. Because at that point, you're kind of ridding him of his manhood, okay? If you offer to pay and he does, that's fine. But when he rejects your offer, take it gracefully. Just say thank you and make a fuss of it. Don't feel like, You have to keep insisting. I know guys who go on dates with women that insist and insist and insist and it gets really tiring and the guy starts to feel less of a man in that moment. Okay? So let him do what he feels like doing. Now, as you go on through the relationship, keep offering. A lot, this is what I see a lot. A woman will offer to pay in the beginning and then because she gets into the habit of the guy paying because he always insists on paying. she kind of doesn't bother offering anymore in the same way. She kind of assumes that he's gonna. And that's kind of natural because she doesn't want to keep saying here and as a token, you know, like, he. She knows he's gonna pay. But I would suggest, like, you keep offering even at random intervals or whatever, because that way he's gonna keep feeling special for doing it. As soon as a guy feels like you take that stuff for granted, that's when he doesn't want to do it anymore. So keep offering. And then, as you go along, if he pays for all the stuff all the time, that's okay. But offer him the little things. So if he's paying for every dinner or every time you go out, now and again, just as a gesture, pay for something. If you go to the cinema together, just pay for the popcorn, pay for the drinks, or even just It doesn't have to be when you go out together. Maybe when you see him, you bring him a little gift, you buy him a little present. Just something to make him feel like he's special or that you still do things for him. It's not always one way. You don't always have to do the big things. Sometimes it's just the little things. So I know there might be some really proud women watching this and saying, well, I'll pay my share of everything. I don't need him to pay for me, blah, blah, blah. Remember, if someone wants to do something nice for you, Let them do something nice. And if it makes him feel good to do it, then what's the harm in letting him? You don't have to feel like you're obliged to do anything or that you owe him anything because he paid. You know, in fact, the gift for him is the feeling that he did something for you. It's not that he gets something afterwards or that it goes somewhere afterwards. You should never feel obliged, but allow him to feel good in that moment by allowing him to pay if that's what he wants to do. If you want to go halves and both of you are okay with that, then that's fine. Now, if you're a woman who has a certain financial status and you find that the guy doesn't and you're saying to me, Matt, if I'm going out with a guy and let's say he doesn't have the money to pay for things, should I cover him in those situations where he can't afford it? Well, firstly, that depends on your generosity. But secondly, really the same rules apply in reverse. You know, I'm not talking about like just man to woman here. if you're a woman and you have a lot more money than the guy that you're with, then the same rules apply. You should find that he wants to offer at least, and you should find that every time, basically everything that I've just said, it just works in reverse if the woman has more money than the guy. And I know there will be women out there who are saying, well, I find that as a woman, I intimidate guys if I pay for everything or if I do this or that. that depends on the guy. So you don't have to worry about that. You just have to do your thing. So I hope that helped. It's all about the feeling that you get when you do something for someone. And remember us guys, we want to feel like in some way we can do something for you, we can provide for you. So if you let us pay for things and but at least you offer, we're going to feel good when we reject your offer and when we pay for it. So I hope you enjoyed that. Visit gettheguy.co.uk if you're not on there already, take a look around the site. Come see me live in person sometime and I will make sure I get another video out to you soon. Take care, have a lovely day.