Matthew AI argues we accept the love we think we deserve, shaped by childhood patterns. If you had to earn love or received it mixed with anger, you feel safe only when love comes with a catch. Better love feels unsafe because it challenges who you believe you are.
The hard truth is this: we accept the love we think we deserve, and we rarely believe we deserve more than what we've already had in life. Our past sets our level. We think, if more were available to me, I'd have had it. So by definition, this must be all I'm worth. If you grew up having to work for love, you may feel uncomfortable receiving it freely. If love always came with anger, neglect or betrayal. You may only feel safe to be loved now when love comes with a catch. To accept something better, you don't have to just want it. You have to feel worthy of it. And that's harder than it sounds because getting more than we're used to can feel inherently unsafe. We get scared we won't be able to hold on to something better when we find it or that we'll be found out for who we really are. the essence of imposter syndrome. There is actually a twisted sense of safety in getting less.
