In this video Matthew Hussey expands on his "micro attraction" concept – the tiny, often unnoticed actions that dramatically boost how attracted someone feels toward you. He reads heartfelt viewer comments that illustrate micro moments, then addresses skepticism that such moments are merely natural behavior and not teachable. Hussey argues that these micro actions are symptoms of an internal state built through self‑care, confidence, and emotional balance. He uses an operating‑system metaphor, describing an outdated mental "OS" that makes simple social gestures feel like climbing a mountain, versus an upgraded system where they happen organically. He shares a recent personal crisis where travel, poor routines, and fatigue left his "OS" malfunctioning, and describes a two‑and‑a‑half‑week intensive self‑reset (retreat program) that restored his routines, mindset, and energy, enabling him to practice micro attraction again. He concludes that building character through self‑love, healthy habits, and mindset work is the foundation for micro attraction, and invites viewers to join his retreat for a structured reset.
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Two weeks ago we released a video on what I call micro attraction, the little things we do that have a massive impact on how attracted someone is to us. Now every week I get feedback from my team members in my company on what they thought of the latest video and in this case your comments on your personal moments of micro attraction made them cry. So I thought I'd read a couple of them now because I think they're so so beautiful. Magic Kitten said, My boyfriend realized that I was spending more time with him than with my friends. So he set up a little girls night out for me and my friends so that we wouldn't drift apart. Simple Minimalist said, On the second date with my now husband, we were sitting by a fire pit close to a pool area when our waiter dropped and broke a glass. After the waiter cleaned up the broken glass and left, my at the time date got down on the floor and started to feel for tiny pieces of glass. He said he didn't want someone to step on them in the morning on the way to the pool. I knew I wanted to marry him then. Amanda says, My boyfriend told me he first became attracted to me in art class when he ripped a hole in his wax paper and although we hadn't spoken before, I brought him more without asking. William said, She and I were on a walk together on a college campus. We walked through a garden area. I looked over and she had knelt down and was picking a bouquet of wild flowers. She looked like I imagined she looked as a little girl. lost in the moment and my heart ached. These comments go on and on and on into the thousands now. Someone even commented saying this comment thread is a wonderful document for humanity. Now some of you justly commented on this video saying this is a wonderful concept, Matt, but isn't this just a beautiful idea and not something very practical? Because surely these are all examples of people just being themselves, them just doing what they do naturally, aren't these moments difficult to manufacture? In other words, how do you put micro attraction into practice? In order to understand the utility of this concept, I think we have to understand how difficult it actually is in practice to do these little things that lead to micro attractions. Let's take a simple example to illustrate this. Most of us know that if we showed more appreciation to the people that we interact with in our lives, our key relationships, those relationships would improve. Whether it's your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, your colleague, your best friend, you know, if you took a moment out of your day to call them and just appreciate them, tell them you love them, or just ask them about their day, that would go a long way. Why don't we do it? It's not because of time. We say it's because I didn't have time to call my mom. No, it's not. It's not because of time. It would have taken 60 seconds. It's because of energy. It's because of the emotional state we're in. It's because showing someone in our life a genuine moment of appreciation requires us to be in the right state of mind. And being in the right state of mind is about what we have done to feed ourselves, our confidence, our happiness, our sense of peace, because when we're feeling all of those things, we all of a sudden have space to do the extra 10% that other people notice. That other people are noticing the tip of the iceberg, the outward, external, surface level manifestation of the work that we have done to ourselves internally that has created a sense of peace and happiness and made us feel in control of our lives. Because when we are peaceful and happy and in control, all of a sudden we have space to act in a kind way, space to act in a generous way, space to be playful and joke and flirt. Those things come from us being happy in the first place. That's why when you're in a good state and you have had a great day and you've been productive on an important project and you managed to go to the gym and you managed to drink that green juice, when you've done all of those things, you get a kind of positive momentum where you say, and I'm gonna call my mum. and I'm gonna flirt with this guy at the coffee shop right now, 'cause I'm feeling good and I'm feeling in the right state and I'm feeling happy right now. So even though the examples of micro traction that you all wrote seem like small and simple things to do, they actually tell a story of someone who has done significant work internally to be the type of person that would do them in the first place. I experienced this firsthand at the beginning of January. November I finished my retreat, Right afterwards, I had to fly to Australia with Jamieson, with my brother Stephen, to film a TV show. And my time zone was off. I was being yanked around doing all sorts of crazy hours of working. I wasn't eating properly. I wasn't training at the gym. I'd lost my routines. And then to compound that, I went from Australia straight into the holidays back in London at the end of the year, where my mum was feeding me all sorts of foods that were delicious but also not very good for me, where I was sleeping in, where I wasn't very active, I was just continuing that cycle. What happens now is I don't feel like I'm feeding my character. I don't feel like I'm doing things that put me in a right state of mind. I don't feel I'm in control of my life in quite the same way. And that can't not affect your self-esteem, your confidence. And when that gets affected, you stop doing the little things that actually create attraction with other people. All of those little moments, whether it's a moment of generosity, a moment of kindness, a moment of appreciation, a moment of gratitude, a moment of flirtation or sexuality or fun. Let's look at this a different way. Everyone's had an old computer that has an operating system that when they try and do something as simple as opening Microsoft Word, it takes 10 minutes to load. Not because that's a complex or difficult task. We know that the new operating systems in the world God can do that in a second. But because the system is out of date, the system is overloaded, the system is malfunctioning, it's the same way with us. What seems like such a simple thing, hey, talk to that guy over there, do that little act of kindness for someone, smile at that person, have a fun moment of flirtation. These are simple things on the surface, but when we're trying to achieve them with an old operating system, it's like climbing a mountain. When we're running the right operating system, they happen organically and naturally. Which is why when we're in the right state of mind and when we're living life a certain way, the micro attractions we create occur every day in everything we do. Over the years in my videos, I have given so many little simple things that people can do to upgrade their love lives. Whether it's a line that they can say to a guy or something they can do on a date, or just a way to communicate. The problem is that so many people never actually do these things, not because they don't have time, not because they're not capable, but because they're running an old operating system that makes it really, really difficult even to do the most simple things that would dramatically change their results. We need to upgrade our operating system. Now, the thing that I'm really grateful for is that whenever I have a period of time where I'm out of sorts, like the last couple of months, I have a way of snapping myself back to my true character, to my best state, to my best life. And I've put myself through two and a half weeks of like an intensive crash course for my body and my mind and my psychology through all of the tools I've ever learned. I mean, I mean, through everything that I teach on my retreat program. This is literally the system I give other people that I ran on myself in the last few weeks that puts me back in the right routines, the right mindsets that brings my time management back so that I'm not fighting fires and I have control over my time again. The acts of self-love and self-care that make me feel confident, the things that I do to create balance in my life, the ability to refocus on the important projects in my life instead of procrastinating. I have done this for myself in a radical way in the last couple of weeks and it has completely changed my psychology. I mean, I feel amazing making this video genuinely. I've been this weekend, I've been high all weekend around Jameson being excited about making this because it's very real to me right now. I've just had to do this for myself. I think this is such an important concept and you, all of you, have helped to lead to this point. because your comments, your debate have precipitated this conversation. So I want to thank you for that. And I think because of the narrative that you've helped create, we've arrived somewhere crucially important. The everyday behaviors that create micro attraction are what show character. But in order to have those behaviors, we need to build character at the foundational level. If what I'm saying is resonating with you and you are with me, you are committed to this journey together this year. Do yourself a favor and try the retreat. It's at matthewhussertyretreat.com and as always I will see you next week to continue the journey!
