Karen Rinaldi argues that embracing imperfection makes you more attractive. When you're a beginner at something, you abandon the ego and create genuine moments that draw people in. Try an activity you're both bad at on a date, or take up yoga despite being terrible, and watch what happens.
And the arms go up as we prepare for eagle. And then we swoop in and there it is. I can see why they call it the eagle. Very majestic tucks. And that leg goes all the way around that leg, which is. That's pretty close. And full eagle.
Oh, God.
And into resting blog pose. Now, you may be wondering why I would do yoga if I suck at it so bad. Well, recently I had an epiphany courtesy of my dear friend and the publisher of the New York Times best selling book, get the Guy, Karen Rinaldi. Karen recently wrote a book called It's Great to Suck at Something. And I have been itching to interview her on this subject because I think it's fascinating. In a world where people are increasingly unwilling to make themselves vulnerable and make mistakes, a world where we curate our public image constantly, we always want to be seen to be doing things well, to be living life at the highest level. And we so rarely allow ourselves the freedom to actually suck at something. Now, when I interviewed Karen, we talked specifically about how the concept of sucking at something applies to your love life and your dating life. Check it out. The audio isn't as good as it normally is from us because we screwed up on the audio on this one. But I think that's pretty fitting on a video that talks about sucking at things. Check it out and I will see you at the end of the clip. The stereotype is that if you do.
Something, well, that's hot, right? Yes.
But there is something very, very attractive.
About someone who has complete abandonment and can suck at something, can do something, they're not for that. But without that self consciousness, what do.
You think is attractive about that?
Leaving your ego at the door is really sexy. Just think about people who just, you know, when you watch them in a moment of abandon, right? Like, and it could be a moment only you ever watch your. Oh, it could be anybody. It could be your kid, it could be your parent, it could be your friend, it could be a lover, right? You know, and you see them across the room and they don't know that you're watching them, right? And they're just kind of going on and goofing off and they're being like silly or something. You catch this moment and that is so much sexier than when they're all dolled up and all, you know, kind of like ready to go, you know, hey, baby, you know, and you're going like, no, it's that moment of abandonment, that letting go of the self consciousness and ego. It's so sexy. I mean, and I don't, I feel like we're forgetting that. I think we're just, we're not paying attention to those moments enough. And that's a shame because that's really what you, you know, again, it's where all the good stuff is hiding. Right. So the greatest first date in the world. You know, in a way, not the greatest, but one of the great first dates or, you know, early dates would be go do something that neither one.
Of you can do.
If you can't ice skate, you should go ice skating together. So you're both going to fall, you're going to like, you know, you're going to feel like idiots and you're going to laugh and you're going to get straight down to your vulnerability and something you. And you're not going to be able to hide from that. That would be a good date. I like it. You know, that kind of brings you down to earth. I always think that the word for humility and humiliation have the same root. So humility is awesome. Humiliation is one of the most painful things in the world. They actually have opposite valences and they come from the same thing, which is about, you know, from humus, which is the earth. So it's like being brought down to earth. So isn't it interesting that we take this word and we kind of go in opposite directions, which is humility, you know, makes us more grounded and more self aware and humiliation is our fear. One is, you know, groundedness and one is being afraid of, you know, I don't even know the interpretation of being like, you know, on the ground.
Know what that makes me think that the difference, you know, if they have the same kind of etymology, the difference between them is meaning, right?
Yes.
And both humiliation and humility, they're both going to bring you down to earth, but depending on which one you're going.
To decide the landing. Right? Beautifully said that. That is beautifully said. Exactly. You're going to come crashing down or you're going to land in a way that you enjoy. Yes. And humility is just the acceptance.
You can't be humiliated.
If you accept your humility, you accept where you are, who you are. Well, I was going to say, I said they're over here, but they're actually this close. So it's really your framing and your value. So it's up to us coming down, by the way. You choose the len, you choose the lender, you know, and it could be, it could, it could, you know, further your experience and it could stop your choice.
Karen is one of those people that whenever I happen to be in New York, she is one of my first people to call to go and have lunch with because I always want to absorb what's in her mind. And the funny thing is she's been talking about this book for years. I've literally been talking to her about the suck at something concept for a long time and it's only just come out. That's why I'm so excited about it, because I've been waiting for her to release this work. I have read through this book cover to cover now and it has actually inspired me to do things I wasn't doing before. I am now doing yoga, despite sucking at it, in fact, because I suck at it. What are you going to suck at? Leave us a comment. What's something that you're going to do, not even necessarily to get better at it, but but just because you want the joy of doing it. Because I believe on so many levels there are psychological benefits to doing something that you're not good at, to going through that process, to being humbled by it. And I also think in the context of what we talk about a lot on this channel, it will make us all more attractive, more relatable, and more enjoyable people to be around. Leave us a comment. Grab a copy of Karen's book. We'll link this up below and let me know what you think.
