Why They’re Not Texting You Back (It’s Only Ever 2 Reasons)

If you are sick and tired of dating advice because it feels like all dating advice is essentially geared towards people who are actually getting on real dates and you're stuck in a dating world where the other side isn't trying at all. Not only are they not serious about having a relationship, they're not even serious about meeting in person. Then this video and what I'm about to say next is for you. One of my love life members, this is a coaching group I work with year round asked me a question this week. She said, I have been trying. I have been on dating apps. I even went to a speed dating event recently. I meet people and then nothing happens. I am trying, I want to go on dates but I am starting to lose hope and motivation because people are not even putting in the littlest effort effort for it to go somewhere. And what do I do when I am trying and nothing is happening on the other side? This is a big question. If you relate to this question, leave me a comment below. I want to hear from you. But let me give you the answer that I gave her and I didn't want to give her the answer that people typically give in a situation like this, which is some version of it's not you, it's everybody else. Don't worry about it. Don't take it as a reflection of you. I think that that is a kind of trite answ that people find incredibly unhelpful. It might feel immediately reassuring in some way, but it doesn't leave me any better off at the end of it because I'm still stuck in a world where it feels like nothing is happening. So I gave what I believe to be the real answer to this question, which is this. What's up guys? I wanted to tell you about a partnership that I have just started that I'm excited about in the wellness space. If you know me, you know that wellness is important to me. I believe that physical wellness is absolutely a master key to mental wellness. And I told you at the beginning of this year I wanted to bring you more of the product. Talking about is with the company Huel and they have two products that I'm using right now that I'm excited about. The first one is Huel Black Edition. This is a powder that you mix with water. It takes 30 seconds and it is essentially a meal in a glass. It has all of your essential fats which keep me cool at night and and are a game changer for someone like me who tends to overheat cause Audrey keeps it too hot. So They've sort of been my savior in that department, which I guess evens it out to me. A good night's sleep is a non negotiable for me to feel my best and these sheets deliver every time. What I love most about Cozy Earth is how much they stand by their products. They offer a 100 night sleep trial and a 10 year warranty which shows how confident they are in what they make. If you want to try them out, head to cozyearth.com and use our code lovely life for 40% off. And if you get a post purchase survey, let them know that you heard about Cozy Earth from us. Trust me, you will thank yourself later. Now back to the video. The next question is what's getting in the way? What is getting in the way of me moving people in that way? And it can be a number of things because the reality is I don't believe that this is about bringing something to the table that we don't have. I actually believe it's about removing the obstacles to who we really are and to what we already have. I know that in my purest form, I'm someone who loves ideas. I'm someone who loves talking about ideas. I'm someone who has a playfulness about me. I'm a little silly at times. I can be goofy, I can be serious. I could be lots of different things. And that doesn't always come across when I make a video because sometimes something is getting in the way. What could be getting in the way? And as I'm saying this, I want you to think about what could be getting in the way for you in the story you're telling when it comes to your dating life. For me, when it comes to, say, YouTube, it can be that I'm too worried about the numbers. I'm too worried about whether this video is going to do well or not, whether enough people are going to watch it, whether it's, you know, going to get the right view count or whatever. If I get too stuck in that I'm no longer thinking about making an impact, I'm going in, squinting, hoping that it does well. If I am not in a good place in my day or my week and I show up to make a video, my playfulness isn't going to come out. I'm going to be a very serious version of myself and people aren't going to see the different elements to my personality and those elements to my personality are part of what tells my story. It's not just the literal storytelling, remember, it's the energy that we convey that makes someone go, I want to be around this guy more. I'll give you a funny example. Recently, I did a video that was talking about a free training that I gave away a couple of weeks ago. And I remember I was sat with my wife, Audrey, and I was making this video, and I got on and I did a, like, very kind of wasn't serious serious, but it was just like me going through the details, hey, guys, I have this training. And you wasn't serious serious, but it was just like me going through the details, hey, guys, I have this training, and you should sign up and blah, blah, blah. And I said that. Then I put my phone down, and I was kind of a bit looser, and I was a bit warmed up, and I looked at Audrey and I went, there was my mom. I was at my mom's house, and she had this big gold deer that she, for some reason, has not put up in the attic since Christmas. It's just on display forever. And I looked at the deer and I said to Audrey, shall I do one with the deer? And she goes, what? No, just. What do you mean? She was like, we got it. I was like, no, no, no. It's gonna be better with the deer. So I picked up the deer. She was like, fine, okay, do it. I picked up the deer, and then I just made the video again with the deer. By the way, it was this video. Let me ask you a question. Are you like this deer? Beautiful, glittering, majestic, hypnotic. But you can't even be your best and. And get all of the impact that you should get as a deer this beautiful because you're all twisted up with emotion. Look at his neck. You know, he's strained. We sent both videos to the team. We sent the serious one and the deer one. I said, pick which one you want to put up. Guess which one they put up. Golden deer. I believe they put it up because it was more of me. And the reaction we got, we ended up getting thousands of comments on that post because I believe that it connected with people differently for me to show more of myself. But I can tell you right now, I've had some very difficult times in my life or some times where the results mattered to me too much, where I took it all too seriously, where I took myself too seriously, where I couldn't have made the dear video because I was too in my head. That's what happens to so many people in dating. You have enough rejections, you have enough times where people let you down or don't try or Just disappointing. Enough nights where you go out and nothing happens. Enough dates where you go on and you don't feel any chemistry, or you did feel chemistry and you thought there was something there, and then they never messaged you again. You have enough of those moments that you start to question your own value. You have enough of those moments that you start to lose your playfulness. You have enough of those moments, you start to take the whole thing very, very seriously. You start to panic. You're looking at the view count. You're looking at it going, is this going to turn into something? Because I don't have any time to waste. And all of a sudden these things start getting in the way of you being able to really tell your story in a way that moves people. But again, what I love about this is it's a way of looking at ourselves without looking at ourselves being a way of validating our sense of unworthiness. It's not that you're not enough. It's that however you're telling your story right now isn't moving people. And that's a beautiful way to be introspective without it hurting your confidence. And I know this to be true because I do it for myself. If right now you could come to one of my events and you haven't got to my event, that's on me. I haven't moved you. I know it has no bearing on the value of my event. It's amazing. Someone who doesn't get on a date with you can't be rejecting a relationship with you. They've never had it. They've never had a relationship with you. So it can't be a rejection of a relationship with you. It's a rejection of the story you've told. That's not about you. Okay? That's about what we're projecting. While we're on this subject, I have something going on in the middle of September. It is an event called the Love Life Reset. And if you've realized that you've become stale when it comes to your dating life, if you feel like a you want it really badly, maybe you even feel like you're running out of time. But you also want to bring your best self to dating, and you feel like those things are in conflict. This is for you, because it's for people who are really serious about bringing their best selves to the table, but maybe feel like something's getting in the way of that right now. And that's not just if you're single and you're looking for love. It's also true if you're in a relationship and there's something getting in the way of you being at your best in that relationship. Maybe you're focused too much on what you don't have or your insecurities. Maybe you're getting too jealous. Maybe you're finding it difficult to advocate for yourself or stick up for your needs or have difficult conversations. Maybe you feel like you've gotten into a place that's an unhealthy dynamic, or you just want to bring out your more confident self. What we're going to be doing in the middle of September on this free training called the Love Life Reset is removing the obstacles to our best self. I'm very excited about this. It's going to be a great event. I really hope you'll make it. It's free. You can sign up@lovelifereset.com and if you don't sign up right now, that's not on you. That's on me. It means I didn't tell a story that moved you. I sincerely hope I did, because once you get to the event, you're going to be really, really, really glad that you came. I really appreciate you watching this video. I want you to tell me below, what do you think is something that has gotten in the way of you moving people in your dating life? Is it rejection? Is it having taken too many knocks? Is it insecurity? What's got in the way of you telling the most compelling story you can tell? Because if we can ignore the people who are not serious and we can focus on moving the people that can be moved, I promise you new opportunities will begin to appear. The world is not entirely made they are happy. Is it having taken too many knocks? Is it insecurity? What's got in the way of you telling the most compelling story you can tell? Because if we can ignore the people who are not serious and we can focus on moving the people that can be moved, I promise you new opportunities will begin to appear. The world is not entirely maipening. Let's go find you 1. Don't forget to sign up@lovelifereset.com Leave me a comment below on what you thought of this video and I'll see you next time. Sam.