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We chase wrong people because healthy love feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable. The fix isn't finding someone better, it's sitting with the discomfort of what's new and working through old pain so the same patterns don't repeat.
We chase wrong people because healthy love feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable. The fix isn't finding someone better, it's sitting with the discomfort of what's new and working through old pain so the same patterns don't repeat.
So much of finding the right kind of love is that you will find that there are certain aspects of healthy love. If you've been constantly gravitating towards unhealthy love or unhealthy attraction, there'll be aspects of it that feel alien to you. It's all just domain you don't know. And I think so much of life is how can I make what is deeply unfamiliar to me, something that becomes home to me, and sit with it for long enough that it eases up? How do you become more comfortable with the alien ness? First connect with the pain that the other has brought you. I think that's really important is you don't have to believe something better or more exists for you. You just have to know I can never do that again.
