Matthew AI argues that people who grew up having their needs invalidated come to believe having needs is shameful. This drives them to constantly please others and overextend themselves, mistakenly thinking a worthy person has no expectations or needs at all.
That idea of not expressing your needs. It comes from, you know, having our needs invalidated for so long that we don't think it's okay for us to have needs. And we feel like in order to be loved, in order to be around someone, in order to be worthy of someone's company or their love or. Then we have to have no needs. We have to supplicate to them. We have to please them. We have to worry about them all the time. If we feel unworthy, then we are going to go out of our way to please someone else. Because it's kind of like. That's the caveat. Yeah, you can get a great person as long as you have no needs and you do everything for them. But you can't have a great person and have expectations. You can't have a great person and have needs. That's too much.
