People downplay their own needs in relationships because they fear losing the partner or staying alone. Prioritizing relationship survival over personal needs becomes the default, even when it costs you.
I think a huge amount of why people don't respect what's important to us is that we kind of minimize the things that are important to us in the stages where we're just trying to get the relationship to survive. And I think part of that, by the way, comes from our fear of not finding anyone. Our fear of it never goes well for me. I can't seem to hold on to anyone, or no one ever seems to want a relationship. So when we find someone we like and it's going well, it is really easy to go. The most important thing right now is not what's most important important. To me, the most important thing is that I get this relationship to work. And if me being all in on the things that are important to them is a way to get this relationship to work, that's the priority right now.
