Win Someone Over In 5 Seconds: Conversation Tricks - Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy

One of my New Year's resolutions was to make more effort in conversation. Being a great conversationalist is a sort of elusive concept. Many people want to be great in conversation, but it seems vague when we think about how to do it. I want to get specific with a few really granular techniques today, and I have three of them. Technique number one is the suspense opener. Now, one of the big mistakes many of us make in conversation is when we first meet someone and they tell us what they do, we rush into whatever we're going to say next. They say, I'm an accountant. You go, oh, okay, cool. So do you do it in this part of town? Blah, blah, blah. And we keep speaking. What we don't realize is that we haven't captivated them with our speech. If we want someone to listen and engage with us, we have to captivate them. Now this technique, the suspense opener, allows you to do that. Here's what you do. Somebody tells you what they do. You then say, so let me ask you this. And then you pause. Another variation would be, Okay, I have a question for you. The pause afterwards is a pregnant pause, 'cause they're waiting now for what's coming next. You're building suspense. There's no way they're zoning out at that point 'cause you've captivated them. The other benefit of this is that whilst you're pausing, you're also generating your own thoughts. You're allowing your questions to form. So this both captivates the other person and creates suspense, and it gives you time to think about what your question is gonna be. So nice little trick. Technique number two is the teasing compliment. Now, I'm going to break this down with an example because it's slightly nuanced, but I think you're going to love this. Jameson has a friend called Tim, who he is always speaking really highly of. This is the famous Tim, but I've never met him, right? So I'm about to meet Tim soon, right Jameson? Like in two weeks, we're all going on a trip together. What could I say to Tim as our conversational starter? Well, I could say, hi, I'm Matt. Good to meet you Tim. Heard a lot about you. I could amp that upper level by complimenting Tim and saying, Hey Tim, Jameson speaks so highly of you. That's very authentic, it's very lovely, it's better than what most people would do. Now if I wanted to take it a level above that, maybe even get a bit playful with it at the same time. Tim, how much are you paying Jameson to say this many nice things about you when you're not even here? I'm taking something that's actually It's a nice thing about Tim, it's complimenting him, but at the same time teasing him right now. It's almost putting him on the back foot a little bit. I'm like owning this frame, but it's fun, it's a playful interaction. Technique number three in conversation, make somebody else the expert. Now look, we're all good at certain things, but whenever we're in a group dynamic, other people have skill sets and talents and experience that we don't. And it's always worth giving people credit for what they know that we don't or what they might know that we don't. Let's say someone says they're a management consultant and you have no idea what that is. Be authentic about letting them be the expert and tell you. You don't have to make out like you know everything a management consultant does. They go, I'm a management consultant. You go, oh, okay, interesting, interesting. So how long have you been doing that for? As if you know, if you have no idea what that is, say it earnestly and honestly. Say to them, you know what? I have friends who are management consultants. I never quite know what they mean by that. You have to tell me what is it? a management consultant actually does. You make them the expert because you're allowing them to be the mouthpiece for management consultants everywhere and they're going to kind of enjoy that. It also gives you points when you're honest about what you don't know. When you can admit, I know nothing about this but I'd love you to teach me. That builds people's egos and it allows you to actually stay connected to what they're saying instead of pretending you're connected to what they're saying when you really don't know anything they're talking about. And believe me, people are better at picking up on that than we they think they are. Now if you're like me, you love this kind of breakdown of human dynamics and if you do, you probably right now want to get more of this kind of content. Well I have something amazing for you that's completely free. I went on a radio show last year called Elvis Duran. This show is one of the biggest radio shows in the United States. When I did this show, I was able to walk in and use a vast range of different techniques for charisma, conversation and confidence that allowed me to completely control the dynamic in that room. My brother was listening to this show from London and decided to document the techniques that I used when I did it. And these are things I've been working on in private for years. So I'd never had it documented in that way. It made me feel very, very naked. And then he called me and he said, I want to release this to the world. I agreed because I thought, you know what? We've never done anything like this before. I want people to read it. And when we released it, people went crazy. because it was like the secret source that no one else was actually talking about. You know when you see someone with charisma or confidence and you go, how do they do that? And they never really tell you. They just say, oh, I'm just myself. Bullshit. There are things they do consciously or unconsciously that make them the most powerful person in that room. So this document that my brother created is 100% free. You won't pay a penny for it. And you can download it right now. It's called the first five because it's about dominating the first five minutes of any interaction, whether it's a dinner party, whether it's a board meeting, whether it's a sales pitch, whether it's a YouTube video, or whether it's just conversation with your friends or someone you're attracted to. It allows you to master the first five minutes of the interaction. All you need to do to get it is go to howtogeettheguy.com/behind the curtain. You can also follow the link Jameson and let's link up at the end of this video and in the description. Click the link, go and download it right now and you can be mastering the first five minutes today.