Would You Date Yourself?

Matthew Hussey here from Love Life. I have a very important question for you today. Think about this very hard and I don't want you to be shy about answering it. And I certainly don't want you to BS yourself when you answer it. The question is, would you date yourself? Now, let's take a step back for a moment. I have a challenge for you to complete before you even answer this question. The first thing I want you to do is write down what you want in the man that you're going to be with. If you're a guy listening, you can do the same thing for the woman that you want to be with. But write down the standards that you have for that person. And I don't just mean talking about their looks or anything like that. I mean talking about your real standards for their behavior, the way they treat you, the way they are around your friends and family. You know, let me give you some examples. What's your standard for how much effort they put in with your friends? What's your standard for the way they are in their energy, in their politeness, in their generosity when they meet your family? What's your standard for this person's level of chivalry? Do they open the door? Do they go out of their way to look after you? Do they pay for you? Do they do things for you? What's your standard for their level of generosity? What's your standard for their level of affection? What's your standard for the amount of time that they would give you? What's your standard for the sacrifices that they would be prepared to make in their life for you? What's your standard for the extent to which they would grow for you? They would try and learn new things or update the way they think about life, even change their belief systems to help align them with yours? What is your standard for all of these things in the person that you want to be with? You may want to pause this right now. Take out a pen and paper and actually write these down. You could fill, I'm sure, a couple of A4 pages with the way that you would want them to react and get real deep with it too. If you screwed up, how would you want them to react to your mistake? How much attention would you want them to give it? Would you want them to berate you? Would you want them to be kind to you? Would you want them to be understanding if they made a mistake? If they did something that hurt you, how would you want them to react to it? To what extent would you want them to go out of their way, not to hurt you. Write down all of these standards. Now, when you've done this, I want you to take a big, long look at this list. Look at everything you've written down. Ask yourself this. To what extent do I live up to each and every one of these standards? If this is my set of standards for the person I want to be with, to what extent do I live up to these standards myself? Why is this important? Well, for a couple of reasons. Firstly, presumably you've written down all of these things because you know that all of these things go to making up an incredibly attractive mate, someone that you could sustainably see yourself with. Now, of course, if they would make an incredibly attractive mate, you also now have a bunch of tips and clues into how you can be the most attractive mate to someone else. So this leaves clues. In other words, by exposing the gaps between what you are and what you want, you get to see areas of improvement for yourself. People often ask me, matt, how can I make myself more attractive? Well, the key way to make yourself more attractive is be more of what you want to see in other people, be more of what you want in the man you want. If you want that standard from someone else, you have to be prepared to live up to that standard yourself. To what extent do you live up to your view of what someone else should be? And when you answer that, you'll find out whether you really would want to date yourself. The reason I think this is such a profound question is because it's sobering and it's incredibly humbling to realize how far short we often fall of what we expect from everyone else. And it's also very empowering because, as I said, if you know these things, you know what you would like to improve. In fact, from looking at this list of standards, I'm sure you have a whole shopping list of things that you would like to improve in yourself that would make you more attractive to the opposite sex. Because the name of the game, of course, is bringing value to the table. If you have just written a roadmap of how to bring value to a relationship, you've just written a roadmap for how to be the ideal partner for someone else. And that's something we should strive for every single day instead of doing what other people do, which is go into relationships with this entitled notion of what they deserve when they themselves can't even live up to the standard that they have for someone else, which is a crazy, despicable concept. It's the height of hypocrisy so go in to give value. Go in delivering what you expect from someone else and have the guts to ask the very honest question, would I date myself? Thank you for listening. This is Love Life with Matthew Hussey. If you want more of articles, videos, my radio shows updated to you each week, go and sign up to my free newsletter. It's a how to get the guy. Com advice. So that's howtogetheguide. Com advice. I'll see you there my friends. Take care.