Matt Ragland shares a story about friends debating a cross-country move to San Diego, using it to show how fear of the unknown keeps people stuck. He argues that accepting responsibility for your choices, not just wanting change, is what actually makes it happen.
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Not really much. Okay, I am. I'm kind of a big eavesdropper. If you're talking loud enough at a table next to me for me to hear your entire conversation, that's on you, not me. So let me tell you about the conversation that I just heard. There were these two college kids talking. And one of them really wanted to take a road trip, which is a very reasonable thing to do. I'm thinking about road trips a lot because my cousin Micah is taking a mega road trip, and so they're kind of on the brain. So my ears perked up. Plus, I'm a chronic eavesdropper. If I'm sitting next to you and you're talking loud enough for me to hear you, I'm going to listen if it sounds interesting. And this was. One friend was saying to the other, "Man, I really want to take a road trip." These are two guys. I really want to take a road trip. I've never taken a road trip before. The second friend, Friend 2, the wise one as it turns out, says, "Oh yeah? Well, where do you want to go?" He's like, "Oh man, I just want to go across the country and end up in San Diego." And he's like, "But San Diego's nuts. You know, you can just buy drugs on the street. You're just going by and they're like cocaine here and cocaine there. And you get like held up at gunpoint too." And I have a few thoughts on that. One, those things can happen. They can also happen in Tennessee. Second thing is that I've been to San Diego twice and neither of those things have happened. Third, I think I'd be really terrible at buying drugs. If you've seen the episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia where Dennis and Dee try and buy drugs, I would go up to the salesperson, be like, "Yes, I would like some of your drugs." and they would just like give me a quote. No way of knowing. I'd just be like, "Well, that seems like a reasonable quote for said drugs." That would probably be, probably be it. I think I would be really bad at buying drugs. I think this kid would have been as well. Then after San Diego, I'm gonna go up the coast. I'm just gonna keep going until I hit the Pacific Northwest because everything is great there. Everyone has beards and wears flannel. Of course, I have a beard, and I was wearing flannel, so maybe he thought I was from the Pacific Northwest. And his friend— I loved his friend's response. He's like, "Well, that sounds nice, but—" It was just so amazing, I almost fell over. He's like, "If you're just trying to get away from the things that you feel are shitty, there are shitty things up there too." And his friend number one, Mr. Road Trip, just didn't want to have anything to do with it. He was like, "No, no, no, no." 'Don't ruin my vibe. It's gonna be great up there.' And yes, it may be. Maybe it'd be better than whatever he's got going on here. But his friend is totally right. No matter where you go, things can still be shitty, and they are. Part of life and part of being in a broken world is that there are things that are shitty. I loved his friend's response. It also got me thinking, there's probably very little stopping this kid, this college kid, from making a change. Probably has very little personal commitments, and if he was just willing to accept the responsibility of his decision to take a road trip, to move— but there's— I could just tell there's like so little chance. Probably just going to be one of those people that talks about the things that he wants to do, is afraid not just of being held up at gunpoint in San Diego. I'm afraid of a lot of stuff, and I know a lot of people are afraid of the unknown. The things that you're scared of are probably not as scary as we make them out to be. And so if there's a change that you want to make, I would explore every possibility of making that change. It could be a really great thing, and I've gone through a lot of change in my life. I've moved to a ton of different cities. I've completely redirected my professional life in the past, in the past 4 years, and all of that has been really scary. Yeah, we've taken long road trips and now we've had a kid and that has been scary and great and wonderful. Hearing those two, those two guys talk made me think about probably have more of a choice than you feel like you do if you're willing to accept the consequence of those choices, and that can be just as scary as the potential benefit. But if you're super frustrated in what you have right now, you never make the jump, that's on you. Like, if I wanted to get into tech but I just always talked about how I wanted it but I didn't apply, I didn't take contracts, work at UPS, not like brown shorts UPS, but retail store UPS, do that for a year and a half, all that was really tough. If you want something, you gotta be willing to take the highs and the lows with it. It's just something that was rolling around in my head. Wanted to share it with you. Had to get it out. Hope that you're having a great day, a great weekend. You know, make some progress. Explore every option about this thing that you're rolling around in your head. Take care of yourselves. See ya. I don't pretend to know your situation or your challenges, anything like that, but I do want to challenge you to consider the possibility that if you want things to be different, it is within your power. Make that difference happen. That's what I want you to think about. If you have any thoughts on this, please leave them in the comments. Have a great weekend. Do something.
