Alana and Ambition

Um, I think we might be doing it. We might be doing maybe one or two this month, but nothing this week.

Got it. And how was school? What happened in school last week?

It's amazing. We read— so first we read in humanities, we read The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost. It's a really good one. And then we also read a short story called The Outsiders. By H.P. Lovecraft. And that one was really good.

Fabulous. And how is Harvard CS50?

Really good. I'm in the problem set 1 for week 1 still. There's a kink that Tzolake and I have to fix. So we're looking over at that this weekend.

Is the problem set hard?

Well, I mean, to me it's kind of difficult because I couldn't quite figure out, or it took me a little while to kind of gather my thoughts, and then I went to Zwolacki for help. But it's fun.

Okay, good. Um, so what I was thinking about is, what's your relationship to ambition? Would you say you are ambitious?

Yes.

Somehow I thought so. So tell me about your ambition. What are you ambitious about? What drives your ambition? Give me a little bit of insight into the nature of the ambitious Alana.

Well, I think my biggest ambition is jiu-jitsu, just because that's been part of my life for the longest, pretty much. I think what drives me for the goals that I have Like, I want to keep doing it until I'm old, so that kind of pushes me to do better.

And with the jiu-jitsu ambition, um, is it that you love competition, that you want to be the world champion, that you want to, uh, that you just love doing it, um, that it makes you feel strong and good? Tell me a little bit about what are your goals in jiu-jitsu? If you could achieve your dream goals in jiu-jitsu, what would it be?

I think all of those in a mix. You know, jiu-jitsu keeps me healthy and it's a great source of exercise and community and team. So that's one reason. And I do also really like competing. It's a really good experience every time. You have to deal with your nerves and focus on improving things like that.

Mm-hmm. What would you say is your jiu-jitsu achievement that you're most proud of?

Um, I'm not sure. I think all of the tournaments now that I'm doing are just for experience. But those are pretty important. I think just doing it every day, most days, is kind of a big accomplishment.

How long do you work out every day?

It's 2 hours a day, and then, um, in the summer I try to train sometimes in the mornings.

2 hours a day, um, at the— do you call it a dojo?

Just a gym.

A gym. 2 hours a day at the gym typically, or part of that is at home?

Typically both of them. Yeah, both of the classes, 1 hour each, are— is at the gym during the afternoon.

Um, how about academic ambitions? Would you say you have academic ambitions?

Oh yeah, I mean, I love writing, so that's one ambition. I'd love to keep going with that. Me during my life.

Um, and how about entrepreneurial ambitions?

I want to have some kind of connection to being an entrepreneur when I'm older, or maybe soon. Um, I'm not quite sure what that'll be yet, but I'm still trying to go along with that.

And no reason at 11 that you should have that figured out. Um, would you say that in terms of, uh, life ambition, that you want to achieve money or fame or change the world or simply be proud of your work or help people? How would you describe if you could live your best ambitious life all around, um, what kinds of things would you want to achieve?

I mean, I've always wanted to be a millionaire, so something like that. Um, but then I think being proud of what I've done, especially if it's something hard, maybe it could be part of jiu-jitsu. Um, that I think is sort of big also because I'd like to have recognition in some way. I think that's kind of always been a goal.

Yeah, that's, it's good. I think, I think it's really good to be aware of what our ambitions are and what we're going to do. And then, you know, well, we check this way. Do you think that it will be difficult if you don't achieve exactly what you want to achieve, or you're certain you will achieve it, or you just want to do your best and whatever happens is okay? How do you relate to kind of all the challenges along the way?

Um, well, I want to try to picture myself there so it gets easier to do all those things. So I think if I don't get all I want, that's all right. But I aim to achieve at least some of that goal. It doesn't have to be in all parts. And then if I don't, I mean, I'm just going to have to reflect and then do it again if I'm not too old.

Got it. No, I think it's really interesting how we— I'm a great believer in ambition. I think ambition is a wonderful thing. And some people think, oh, I've got to get this, and if I don't, my life is over. And I think that's not a very good strategy either. And that's why it's tricky, because I think it is important to set goals, but you also need to be resilient in the face of challenges. Does that make sense?

Yes.

So when you talk about visualizing, it sounds like with jiu-jitsu you visualize winning a match. Is that correct?

Yes.

And so how do you take it if you visualize winning a match and then you don't win a match?

Well, then you didn't win it and you need to improve.

So no big deal, basically.

I mean, I think it depends on the situation. At my age, all of these tournaments that I'm doing, really no one will remember in the next couple of years. So if I lose, then like it's okay, it's still learning. I'm not even, I'm not even a teenager. But I think once it gets to a higher level, then that's when it matters more.

Got it. Um, but do you see why It's tricky because we want to give everything to win, and I like visualizing the win. And in every life, there are challenges. And so there also be, you know, odds. It's unlikely you will win every single battle. Is that fair enough? So I use the word resilience. What does the word resilience mean to you?

I think, I think of not giving up and sort of perseverance.

And does it make sense that there's some people who are ambitious and then they lose and then they give up?

Yes, right.

So in some ways, I think one of the most important things about ambition is actually being willing to keep going even after a loss or disappointment. And I think in some ways that's a hard thing. It's— I would say if you win, it's easy to go on and, oh, I'm going to win and win again and win again and win again. That's easy and motivating. I think what's tough is if you don't win something and then can you keep going? Would you say you're pretty resilient in that sense?

I hope so. I hope I am.

You know who Winston Churchill is?

I've heard the name, but I haven't done explicit research on what he's done.

Do you know anything about World War II?

I know some things.

So Winston Churchill was the Prime Minister of Britain during World War II, and he led Britain to success over Nazi Germany in World War II. And so he's known in particular for helping win World War II. For Britain. But the reason I bring him up is he once said that success consists of going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm. What do you think of that?

I think that's very true. I mean, in a war, I think it's— I mean, it would probably be very hard to maintain enthusiasm when you've lost a battle, but I mean, they probably kept strong, so it'd be much easier to do that. In a jiu-jitsu match, which kind of pushes you to do that. But I definitely agree with that.

Yeah. And as it turns out, he also did things earlier in his career which were not always regarded as successes. And so even though he's known in history as the person who helped Britain win World War II, and earlier in his career he had various failures and you know, with enthusiasm, without loss of enthusiasm. Would you say you always have enthusiasm for jiu-jitsu matches?

I think so. Yes.

Where does that come from?

What comes from you wanting to win, and then also you definitely not wanting to lose, and then the entire vibe around it all. Makes it really exciting.

The vibe of the competitions, that kind of thing.

Yeah, the competitions. And especially if you're going not too far in the beginning, you've kind of been there a few hours and then you've watched all the matches and it's— it's gotten you pumped up.

Yeah.

I mean, you're very enthusiastic about it.

Would you say that your coach also helps?

Yes.

What role does the coach play?

My coaches help. Well, they not only help coach me in the match, but they're there for support. They calm me down. They just make conversation because it's very nerve-wracking most of the time.

Yeah, the nerve-wracking is kind of part of what I'm getting at too. And in terms of nerve-wracking, have you ever had a match where you, where you kind of lost your, lost your fighting spirit? Or has your fighting spirit always come through every single time?

Um, I think there have been some matches where I've been so nervous or where I've just been too out of it that my confidence and my level has gone down, but I don't think gone down so much that it was just purely that, that I lost.

And, um, what— when you say you were out of it, were you not enough sleep, or what, what was it that put you out of it? Why were you out of it in those matches?

Well, I think there are a lot of factors. There could be sleep, although the ideal situation is that you want to sleep pretty early the night before, or if you drove or flew over, then you got good rest. On the flight or drive. Um, there's nerves or just the anticipation that you're gonna lose. Maybe you've lost to that person before, or if you're just really nervous because they seem really headstrong about getting you, and so that kind of depletes your level. Or maybe you were just having a bad day. There's a lot of factors.

So it sounds like there's a bit of a, would you say, a psychological game or psychological side to jiu-jitsu matches?

Yeah, definitely.

And would you say, it sounds like there are some opponents that try to intimidate you, is that accurate?

I think you're always trying to intimidate your opponent, maybe just not too outwardly.

So how do you try to intimidate your opponents?

Um, I mean, there's no one specific way. Usually you don't think about it that hard, but I know some people tell me they just look at them, make eye contact, and then they're like, oh no, she's looking at me. Or not outwardly boasting about winning or losing, I think, helps because it doesn't really matter.

Uh-huh. Very interesting. It's, it's interesting because in one way I know you're a very, very nice person, but it's interesting to hear about your competitive side too. Um, but I, it sounds like it's not your style to be, um, kind of aggressive towards the other person. That's not part of your psychological game?

Not if it's not physically, no.

But then once you're physically engaged, then you're all in with the aggression?

I try to be, yes.

Very interesting. Well, I think I have huge respect for competitive athletes because I think it does give you practice again in, you know, perhaps in academics, certainly in business. There will be times when there are challenges. Does it make sense that the kind of psychological challenges you're preparing yourself for in jiu-jitsu could help you in other aspects of life?

Definitely.

Yeah, I think it'll be really interesting to see how you do. Are there any other parts of life where that have been at all competitive as jiu-jitsu has been, or nothing remotely that competitive?

Um, well, I think there are some aspects that may be competitive, just not like this is a competition. Maybe it's just you're trying to be better than someone else in reading or writing. And test scores, if you're talking about academics.

Got it.

And then there's obviously other martial arts too and other sports.

Got it. Just on the Harvard CS50, are there any students going through at the same stage as you, or everybody else is either way behind in Python or way ahead in Harvard CS50?

To be honest, I'm not sure, since usually I get on at a certain time, and then nobody's there. So I have— so I'm not sure. And then I don't know all of the students who are also taking CS50.

Last year, you had— was it Margaret was ahead of you?

Yes. Yeah, Margaret was ahead. And then I had Colette with me, but she's not there. So I'm kind of sad.

And Margaret finished the course. So in a way, are you competitive with Margaret even though she's not there?

I'm not trying to be. I mean, I'm still kind of in the beginning, so I have no reason to be competitive.

Fair enough.

And I haven't seen it since last year anyways.

And she was an 8th grader and you're only a 7th grader as well. Uh, but okay, well, wonderful. I, I had heard from your dad that you are in some ways ambitious, and I know it's a jiu-jitsu thing. Um, but I'm— and we didn't get a chance to talk about the, uh, money, being a millionaire, so we can talk about that later. But, um, no, I, I think it's wonderful that you are so committed to your jiu-jitsu, and I think it will provide you with, uh, competitive strength and resilience in all walks of life. So, um, may you have wonderful, wonderful jiu-jitsu tournaments and May it help strengthen you in all aspects of life. Okay.

Thank you.

All right. See you next week. Bye-bye.

All right. Thanks, Michael.