Alana defines confidence as believing she can do anything asked of her or anything she wants. She traces it to three sources: prior experience, manageable steps, and encouragement from others. She builds her brother Logan's confidence by pushing him to try despite his fear of mistakes.
Good morning, Alana. How are you? Alana, can you hear me? Hello? Can you hear me?
Yes, I can.
Okay. It looks like— are you at Friendly Shoes?
I can hear you.
Okay.
No, I'm at home.
Okay. Well, today I was wondering about confidence, the idea of confidence. What What does it mean to be confident?
Well, to me, when I'm confident, I feel like that I can do anything that somebody asks me to do or that I want to do.
That seems like a pretty good explanation. Anything that anybody asks you to do or anything that you want to do. What makes you confident?
Um, one thing that makes me confident is that knowing that I've done it before, or knowing that maybe the steps are easy, so, and I've done more harder things than that. Or if somebody helps you boost your confidence, maybe that helps.
How can people help you boost your confidence?
Just like having like talk, like if you were really scared before, maybe they could say like, you just need to go out there and try it, that's all.
So I'm remembering everything you said. So you said if you've done it before, that then you're confident. If the steps are easy and it looks like it's not too hard. And if people boost your confidence. So those are the 3, trying to do 3, 3 things that help make you confident or determine if you'll be confident.
Yes.
Um, have you ever been in a situation where you started out confident and then you lost your confidence?
Um, I think so, but I forgot what I was doing though.
No problem. How about a situation where initially you were not confident, but then you became confident?
Um, I don't really remember anything, but I'm sure I could probably figure— I'm sure I could probably, um, remember something.
How about tournaments?
I don't remember anything.
That's okay. In tournaments, are you always confident when you go into tournaments?
Yes, um, one, because I know I've done it before, but on my first time, um, it just sounded cool and I, and, um, and it thought, and I thought, um, because it just, um, I thought that I could do it. And I did it.
Excellent. Um, does it matter to you very much if you win or if you lose, or you're happy either way?
Um, I'm happy either way. I don't really care.
I would say I could see that in some ways might actually make you more confident. Um, and the way I'm thinking of this is some, some people, I think some people get really unhappy when they lose. And then if they get really unhappy when they lose, maybe It's sort of almost too important for them if they win or lose. Does that make sense?
Yes.
Do you know anybody or have you ever met somebody who got really unhappy if they lose?
Um, no, no, I don't think I've met anybody that's really done that.
That's good. That's good. So why is confidence useful? I mean, I assume confidence is a good thing, and if so, why is it a good thing?
It helps you think that you can do it, and if you have enough, like, even if, like, before you didn't think you could do it and then you got your confidence back up, you, you could win. Do you ever help other people become more Um, sometimes I just forget when or where, um, but they mostly just have the confidence. Oh yeah, Logan, I help him out sometimes.
How do you help Logan with his confidence?
Well, I encourage him to, when dad or mom or even me, or he just wants to do things, And then he's like, never mind. I just try to like just tell him that it doesn't really matter. Like if you like make a mistake or something in that thing, you just have to go out and try it.
Can you give me an example of the kinds of things where you help him with his confidence?
Um, sometimes he, um, actually I don't remember anything, but I— it's probably happened recently though.
Okay, sounds like you're a good big sister. I think a good big sister would help her little brother be more confident. Does that sound right?
Yes.
Okay. Well, you know, last time we were talking about power and what made you powerful. Do you remember what you said about what made you powerful?
Being kind, maybe being smart, maybe being strong, you know, all of the above too.
That's exactly correct, that's exactly correct. Do you think that if you're stronger you're more confident?
Well, maybe, like if you're stronger and you, and maybe it's like lifting something heavy and you've done like something heavier or something other than that before, then maybe that could boost your confidence.
And how about if you're smarter? Do you think if you're smarter, you're more confident?
Um, like if you, maybe if you were in a test or something like that and you know, like the answer to questions. Yeah.
And how about kindness? Do you think if you're kinder, you're more confident?
Yeah. Like if you're kind and you have a lot of people cheering for you because you were kind to them, so they follow you. Maybe that'll boost your confidence.
Okay, so that's Alana's theory of power plus confidence is how being strong, smart, and kind makes you more powerful and makes you more confident. Sound right?
Yes.
Okay, what are you gonna do today?
I actually don't know.
Okay, well, I'm gonna let you go, but have a great day and hope to talk next week, okay? Bye-bye.
