Michael asks his 5-year-old son Ethan what love means. Ethan lists his unicorn, stuffed animals, friends, family, even cardboard and mountains. He says love is a feeling that makes you want to hug something, and some things he loves more than others.
Hey Ethan, how are you? Okay.
Okay.
So tell me what that thing is next to you. You've got something very funny next to you.
Oh, it's a unicorn that my friends, that my friend asked me to take care of. My friend Harper accidentally left it here, so now she's asking me to take care of it.
Well, it's pretty funny. It's cute, and it looks like he's your friend because there's your face, and right next to your face is the unicorn's face. Does the unicorn have a name?
Um, I don't— I— this might be I don't know if this is his name or not, but I think it might be. I don't know. I don't know what his name is, really.
Okay, that's okay. You can name him later, maybe. So, you know, I'm always thinking about what different words mean. And so the word I'm wondering about today is, what does the word love mean? What does love mean?
Oh, so perfect timing for that. It means like, if this was my stuffed animal and I could keep it, um, I would love it. That's what love means.
If that was your stuffed animal and you could keep it, then you would love it, and that's what love means. Excellent. So love means you get to keep something? Is that what it means?
No, no, it means like, um, okay.
I love how you think through these things. I think it's really, really wonderful how you think about these things. I see your eyes moving. I think your brain is thinking. Is your brain thinking?
Yeah, it's hard.
It's hard? So what, so you love, would you say you love the unicorn?
Yeah, so like if I could keep them.
Would you say if you can't keep it, you can't love it?
I mean, you can love it, but So let's think of other examples.
One way that I think about problems is I think about different examples. So you started with the unicorn example. What's another example of something or someone you love?
Um, like, well, stuffed animals. You can love your stuffed animals.
Do you have lots of stuffed animals?
I have like 45 of them.
45? Or 4 or 5?
Well, almost 45.
You have almost 45 stuffed animals. That's incredible. Do you love all of them?
Every time I see a stuffed animal and I say, "Can I get that, Mom?" my mom always has to think about it. Because I have so much.
It sounds as if you've been very successful in getting your mom to buy stuffed animals. So do you love all of them, all 45?
Uh, well, yeah, I do.
Okay. Do you love any of your other toys or just the stuffed animals?
Uh, I love everything. I love all my toys.
You love all of your toys? Do you love any people?
Uh, I love all my friends. I love my mom and my dad and my grandma.
Okay, so you love your— all your friends, your mom and your dad and your grandma, and all of your toys. Is that right?
Yep. And my stuffed animals.
Um, do you love your stuffed animals in the same way as you love your friends and your family?
I hug them, so it's kind of— it's— there's only one thing I don't do. It's like, say it's what you do to him. I don't, um, I hug them. That's— yeah, that's what I do basically. You're it.
So you do, it is basically the same because if you love, if you hug something, you love it. And if you love it, you hug it. Is that right?
Yeah.
So does that mean if you have a toy truck and you do not hug your toy trucks and you do not love your toy truck?
Yeah. No, no, no. It means you do, do love it, but it just, but it, This means you can't, you don't hug it. So it means you still love it, but you just don't hug it.
I see, I see. So let's go back to what love means. So you love your friends and your family and your toys, and you said that hugging something doesn't mean you love it. So what does love mean?
So hugging something means you love it, and Love basically means like, um, you, um, for example, I don't know, I don't have an example. I might have to think about that one.
Okay, um, what's something you do not love? One way that I think about problems is I think about what does, like with love, what I do love, and then I think about what I don't love, and that helps me to understand what I love and what I don't love. So what's an example of something you do not love?
This could be a funny example. I don't love trash. That's a funny example.
That's a great example. That's a really great example. So tell me why you don't love trash.
Well, because you can't really eat it, and the only food you can eat, like a banana or something.
Okay, so you can't really eat it. Yeah, Jamie. So you love some things and you don't love trash. Does that tell us anything about why, what love is?
Um, yeah, I guess.
What does it tell us, what does it tell us that love is? If you don't love trash, how does that let us explain what love is?
It most— so, 'cause I can't think of an example.
Okay. Yeah, it's sometimes hard to think about examples. Maybe let me give you another example. Let's see. How about, do you love cardboard?
Uh, okay. I kind of do because I use it for my building.
Oh, that makes sense. So cardboard, because you can use cardboard for buildings, you kind of do love it. That makes sense because you love your toys and your buildings are like your toys, right?
Right.
Okay, let me think of a different example. How about mountains? Do you love mountains?
Mountains, uh, no, you don't. I mean, I kind of do because they're adventurous and I do adventures on them.
Okay, so you kind of love mountains. So it sounds like you love mountains.
Oh, I don't really love them that much though.
Okay. How about streets? Do you love streets?
Um, that's a tough one because you can drive on them and they transport you places. Well, you probably love streets less than you love mountains.
Okay, so do you know what the word hierarchy means? No. I didn't think so. It's a fancy word. Are you okay with learning fancy new words?
If it's okay with my parents, I don't know.
Okay, so all I was gonna say is that you have a hierarchy of love. I mean, and all that means, it's a fancy word for saying you love some things more and some things less. Does that sound accurate?
Um, yeah.
Okay, well, I think this is really, really interesting. I'm learning about Ethan's theory of love. So do you know what you're gonna do today?
Um, hang out.
All right, I'm gonna let you hang out and hug your unicorn and your other stuffed animals, and maybe we'll figure love out someday in the future. How's that sound?
Good.
All right, have a good day, Ethan.
Bye-bye.
