brutal honest truth about marrying an entrepreneur

Because we have a very like, traditional approach whenever it comes to, like, rolls in America. That's how I prefer it. But it's also, like, very frowned upon these days. I feel like social media completely. Should I go there? You would think that it would be kind of hard to mess up a recipe as simple as chocolate chip cookies. Don't mind me digging through the trash to get the evidence. Just look through that parchment paper, give it a gander, see what happened. It spread all over the pan. And I don't know what I did wrong. I followed a recipe exactly. I made normal chocolate chip cookies. I literally went to the store to get flour and sugar because I have not baked that since like almost basically a year and a half ago, you know, because we're keto, carnivore, etc. Whatever. Anyways, I wanted to make some cookies for the media team and I was gonna do chocolate chip. Well, you know, that's what they say. I say that to make myself feel better about it. But like, how do you mess up recipe as simple as chocolate cookies? I was gonna make them chocolate chip and peanut butter and the peanut. But ones actually turned out. They turned out okay. But I was gonna have a variety, you know, one of each kind. But they're in the trash and I didn't have any extra softened butter out, so. And meanwhile, Michael is walking on a chair. The sizzling in the background. Is his lunch tomorrow, by the way, making him a T bone steak. But anyways, you wanna talk to vlog about what you're doing?

Hi, Vlog. I'm working on the slides. I have 640 slides so far. Can they see no live stream? Well, from Black Friday starts at 9:00am Pacific Time. I'm gonna give everyone there. I already told you this. $597 gift. As long as you stay for the.

What does that entail? Like, how do they get the gift?

That's like asking what's in your presence.

Oh, my bad, my bad, my bad.

Don't tell me we have big announcements.

I can't tell you what they are. One announcement that nobody knows about. Not a single person outside of the team.

Do I know.

And Banna.

Oh, I know.

But the rest of the family doesn't know I'm bena. I'm gonna be giving away tens of thousands of books.

Tens of thousands. Yeah, yeah. Light.

All right. It is. The next morning, I. We got up pretty early as per usual, and I was like, you know what? Between my cardio and getting ready to leave, I have enough time to make another batch of chocolate chip cookies, and they actually turned out this time. I still think there's a little bit too much butter in them, just by the look of them, but didn't completely puddle in the pan. So I have a whole container of chocolate chip and peanut butter and then extras for any of them to take home. I absolutely love baking for other people, but Mike can only eat so many baked goods, and I make those, like, keto, like, low carb and sugar free anyway, so, you know, I wanted to make normal stuff for once. I actually, like, I haven't even tried them, so hopefully they're good. I have a feeling no one's gonna tell me if they're horrible, but, you know, I did a smell test, and they smell like normal sweet cookies. So. Guys, we have a package. So in the last vlog, I was explaining that I'm still trying to decide what I want to do or how I want to decorate our jam room. And our treadmill should be getting here tomorrow afternoon. And I'm so excited. Got the wallpaper in today. I don't even know if I got the right size. I was kind of just, like, aiming to do a sample of two different kinds, so I got this, like, textured black. And I also got this.

I don't even know how to describe this pattern. It's actually so much uglier now that I'm seeing it in person versus, like, on the Amazon, the screen. But we'll try it out. I feel like we're sticking with the black just like I had planned on. Should I even open this one?

That is pretty ugly. I have to say, this is getting returned.

Yeah, I can't really tell from this close. That'd be kind of cool. But, like, I also don't know if I want to keep this room bright. Our treadmill is supposed to come in tomorrow in the afternoon, and I'm so excited. I still have not gotten the invoice to pay for the StairMaster, so that's gonna be, like, probably another month. But we obviously have Mike's whole what used to be home office cleared out, so I'm so excited to be doing something fun with this room. Guys, here she is in all her beauty. Look at this thing. It is such a beast. It takes up, like, half the room. But the lighting in here is absolutely gorgeous. I've decided I don't think I want to black out this wall, so I'm gonna have to return that wallpaper. But the lighting in here is amazing. And especially with the fall colors showing right Now I just. I really don't want to make this room darker. Mike is gonna be so excited whenever he gets home. I can't wait to see his reaction to it. The guy who came and installed it was saying that, like, this thing updates, and in order to make sure everything runs smoothly, to just, like, turn it on at least twice a month. So that's not gonna be a problem. In order to use anything else on this treadmill besides what it's supposed to do, and then spin the belt, you have to get their membership. Bluetooth.

Hey, it's showing this camera. I can connect this camera by Bluetooth. So just got home from work and we're gonna get his live reaction. Not clickbait and come in.

Wow.

Isn't that a beast?

Wow, it looks so much bigger.

It does.

Disclaimer warning. Content provided may contain events or high intensity movements. It may compromise your ability to maintain balance. Flashing lights. And may affect those of photosense.

Epilept. Okay, it said I had to read the warning. Wow.

Okay, so you can, like, create profiles. I had to for it to start.

Oh, yeah.

And so it's under Brianna Andy's right now. But you can, like, track your stats.

Can I. Can we add Michael in there?

Surely. Somehow.

Man, if we both go on to meet the same user, we'll get all sorts of points.

What's up, Vlog? It is Saturday morning. Last week, we moved Mike's home office into the new office, and now we're moving his old office into the new office. I know the amount of times I've said office in these past videos. We're taking our car separately just to make sure we fit everything in one go. But it's so exciting. He's actually moving over sooner than we thought.

We move it, man. We move it Upices again.

We're gonna say goodbye to Max. Hey, is the new office gonna have something like this little decal?

We are basically done. We just. Oh, his car's locked. We just got his desk and chair in there. So the big stuff is done. Now it's just like the smaller, miscellaneous items. I was just here on Monday, so almost a week ago, and they've already moved so much in, changed so much, and it all looks so good. I'll give you the bird's eye view here in a second, but upstairs, the media team is all situated in here. The studio is my favorite new addition. Look how sick this is. The black brick look. And the turf, the Mike Andy sign. And the books. There's gonna be a fourth book. Add on to that collection here soon. Just stay tuned for that. And then a little break room area. This is where they have the watch parties to revise all the turnaround episodes in Mike's office. We've moved this white desk in there.

Hi vlog. This is my office. It's my new office. I really like my office. I hope Vanna comes sit in the chair and say hi to them.

She definitely will. Yeah.

This is multi purpose office. So we have the ability to record here. Light set up. Light set up. And then we go.

And then you work.

And then bird's eye view of the whole place. If you guys remember what it used to look like. Obviously that area needs to be cleaned up. It's just boxes. But copilot moved in right in here. And then home service EPA is over there. I believe the sales team of Augusta Lawn care is right in there somewhere. And all of command center is gonna be in here. I just love this corner. That is so sick. And these chairs. We have to hide that poster because on the other side it shows what the front of the COVID of his new book looks like. Front cover? What is it like wallpaper or a backsplash they stuck on. Oh my goodness. It's soft.

Yeah, there's a bunch more. That's what I was saying for your. For a workout room. You can take it.

I kind of like it. It does. It looks so real. It is a gorgeous, gorgeous day. We're starting to lose the leaves. Fall lasts for not long enough fall colors.

I got orange shoes and you got brown shirts.

Truly.

Wow. What can he not do?

Man, that talented person. I promise I talented. You want to marry me?

Yep, I do.

Will you marry me again?

Yes, I'll marry you. Over and over. Even if you don't get it. I'll marry you again.

Snap.

It's okay. I'll still marry you. Oh no.

I almost had it.

I still marry you again. Oh my word. Round two.

One eternity later.

He did it. Stuck in the rocks.

Vanna.

What is up? Folks?

You don't have to talk that quiet. One of the best viewed videos on the vlog channel. The Mike and Brie vlogs channel has been. When we just talked about. What was it? Oh, our prenup. A prenup which never was made.

And because we're so hungry for views, we're doing a part two.

Well, there's a lot of good comments. People seem to like it. Is it 1500 views?

Something like that.

Let's go. We figured we'd do something more productive than talk about prenup. Although we did talk more about relationship on that one. Right. The preup was just like clickbait.

It was like how we balance business and marriage. And prenup was just the last question.

Yeah. I think our second video is how we met. So, yeah, we're going off the niche of entrepreneurial couples. That's who this video is for.

I try to steer away from simply talking to the camera because I feel like that's a little boring.

Yeah.

But if that's what y' all want to see, then by all means we can sit in front of a camera and talk all day. Should we start a podcast?

I'm down in the studio.

That would just contribute to all the fluff that's already on social media, all the unnecessary extra content.

I feel like there's plenty of good opportunity to talk to people that are our age trying to start businesses or grow businesses. There's a lot of things that.

The business complicates or adds a different dynamic to. I think there's a niche to it.

I do agree.

Figure things out.

Yeah. Because we're still learning. We don't make these videos to try to say that we know everything, but we've definitely, like.

Learned. We've gone through very specific situations and we've learned from them. So if we can help other entrepreneur. Entrepreneur. Entrepreneurial. Entrepreneurial. Entrepreneurial couples. Yeah, if we can help out those kinds of couples, then that's ideal.

So our attention graph after that long intro. A two minute intro.

So I asked ChatGPT some questions about a certain topic which is basically like balancing. About balance, you know what I'm saying? About balancing, like.

Roles. Because like, roles is actually something that we've talked about a lot more recently.

And like, kind of figuring out because we have a very, like, traditional approach whenever it comes to, like, roles in a marriage, if you will. Like, he works, obviously he does a majority of the work. And then I'm mostly like, for the most part, stay at home, taking out, watching after the house, cooking and whatever. And that's like a very traditional.

Traditional. What would you call it? Like, we just have traditional roles in marriage and that's how I prefer it. But it's also, like very frowned upon these days. I feel like social media completely. Should I go there?

I will say that we are in a pretty good privileged position to be able to live off of my income and that there are people that both people need to work just to make ends meet. And then there's also people that are single parents where the wife or the woman has to go out and work hard and has to create a career. And I think it's important to recognize that the majority of situations are not as simple as ours, which is I make money. I was gonna say I make money and you spend money. But it sounds really bad. You know, like in a business I talk about sales operation admins. Like you get the sale or like you make sales. Sales is like get the work, do the work as operations and then make them or get paid as admin. I was gonna say that, but it sounds bad. What I mean though is like I go out and work and then you on the home front, like defend and make sure that like I'm more offense, your defense.

That's why I work out.

That's why.

So yeah, I just want, I think that the majority of people don't have as simple of a role based approach in part because financially it's almost impossible to have that for most people.

Yeah. In no way, shape or form. By saying that, I prefer to like be a stay at home wife and saying that like it's wrong or bad if the woman had to work or if the wife in the situation. Because like there are some couples who like they need to include outcomes. And so I'm very thankful, like you said that it's, that's not the case for us because I would obviously do if I had to, but I'm thankful that I don't have to. I like to help and like fill in the gaps. That's kind of my role whenever it comes to his work. For example, you emailed me like there's a tiny project to do on the side to help you with the launch. Like I like being available so I can do things like that for you and fill in the gaps and then also make home a place that you want to be and like be the homemaker, for example.

Yeah. And I think if I was talking like my younger version of myself, I'd say like make your time so valuable that you serving me and saving me a few hours a day is worth way more than you working 10 or 12 hours doing busy work. Yeah, because like if you can save me time, like meal prep, I don't think about it. I've never done the laundry one single time. And it's not because like I haven't not tried to. It's like you just take care of it. I know I've never picked up the mop or like the vacuum cleaner. Like everything is clean. And so by taking all this stuff off my plate, I'M able to just focus on work and then if I'm not working, I'm with you. And we've joked, like, that's the only two things I do is like, I just work or I'm with you. I work out too. I would say to my earlier version myself, and if you're a young guy at single in like the grind phase, try. I would, I would. It served me well to work so hard in that phase so that when I got a wife, it made so much financial sense to not have her work.

Because several weeks ago I had a little. I was catastrophizing a little bit and I was like basically having one of those moments where it's like, what is the meaning of my life? Like, what, what do I, what do I want to do? What is my long term goal? Like, I want, I hate feeling idle. Like, I want to be doing something and I want to work on something and have a goal to work on. And I have like physical goals and I feel like very surface level goals that I'm always driving towards. But I wanted like a deeper meaning, essentially. And so for a few days I was like down in the pits. Like, what do I want to do? Do I want to like, continue personal training? Do I want to study a course of some sort and get a job somewhere? But it's like, then Mike brought to my attention, like, what I find joy in the most is being available for him and like being a homemaker and making home a place that he wants to be and making it like essentially perfect and as much as I can. And he was like, that's what you're happy doing. You'd be miserable if you had a nine to five. We came home and we were both drained. In my trying to find a purpose or a career, I would basically be sabotaging what actually brings both of us joy.

Yeah, I think for most entrepreneurial couples we've tried to actually try to bring some value here is.

In high likelihood, especially for your first 10 to 15 years of your career and the business starting, the entrepreneur's gonna have to work more hours. And so it's gonna be usually mean less time with each other. And as a broad stroke, most females want quality time and time with their spouse. And so.

I think the thing for the guy for me to realize is that that is an important part still. And by you optimizing everything in the household, we're able to just spend time together, quality time together. When we're together, like, we're not like, let's go do chores because like, you've taken care of all of that. And again, I don't think this is for everyone. And I think that there are ladies that want to go out and work and have their own career and that's certainly fine. It's just what's worked for us.

Yeah, exactly. Sometimes I get a little bit self conscious or like nervous making these videos because I don't want it to seem like we're trying to tell y' all how to be. It's like just hopefully our perspective and what we've learned can benefit you guys in some way. So I have some questions if you're ready to pivot.

That was just the foundation setting. Okay. What does your job.

I was gonna say something about that though. I forget what I was gonna say about what. I was trying to make a point and then I got derailed. Brandon likes to fool my eyebrows. It's an ongoing situation.

Ever since he got a wife. I'll take the credit. His eyebrows have gotten better and better. Cuz I do them. He hates it, but I do them at least once every two weeks.

Sorry. Okay, go ahead.

What does your job look like versus my job and are they equally valuable?

100% equally valuable. The same way that like I think the quarterback and the wide receiver and the running back get all the attention in the NFL, but like, if you have a defense that constantly allows people to score points, like, you'll still lose.

What a beautiful analogy.

But everyone, I will get all the attention because like the views on YouTube and the businesses, but like defense is still required because, and I've told this before, like if I went into my 30s without a wife, like I would have been trying to find that and that would have drained a lot of time and energy away from the businesses. So like I needed that part of my life to be fulfilled and satisfied in order to be able to stay focused on the businesses past 30. So yeah, it's certainly equally valuable 100%.

This is one thing that like kind of going back to the several weeks ago whenever I was having that little like what. What is the meaning of life? It's never that I like compared the importance of our job, but I was searching for like meaning and importance. Like I wanted to be valuable.

Instead of just like there. Do you know what I'm saying?

And so I think comparison is not the thief of joy. I don't believe that. But I do think that comparing and then finding fault in your spouse because they don't contribute in the same way. So it's not A matter of like, are both valuable. Yes. But it's very easy in bad moments to start comparing in terms of how much effort you put in, how much time you put in, how much you contribute financially to the relationship. And that's very dangerous. I think it's very important to determine the roles regardless if it's we both work or whatever. It's like determine them and like we live by that. Instead of like, well, like I contribute more financially than them and then I care more about them because I have more energy or like I prepare for more for them. You're just, it's like the offensive lineman or like the wide receiver being like, well, the defensive lineman. They're just fatsos. No, like they are required for that role to operate, look like and be very different. Their workout routine looks different, their health routine looks different because they're serving a different role. And so I think comparison in a relationship based upon different roles, like if you have similar roles then you can be like, okay, how much are you putting into the account? How much am I putting in account? Okay, how much did you do the chores? How much did I do to the chores? That makes a lot of sense actually if you're both sharing roles. But in this case where we have very defined and different roles, I think it's important to value the other person's contribution and in times of weakness, not compare and most importantly contrast the difference of what the role is required to be successful.

Defining roles is so, so important and honestly such a huge key to a successful startup, to the marriage because there could either be a crossover or b comparison. And so like I don't have the capacity to go out and work 10 hour days like he does and run a software company, a lawn care franchise and everything else. Like, I just don't have that capacity. I don't.

Whereas I don't have the capacity to do what you do. So.

Exactly. So we just had to establish those roles. And I pick up where he drops off and he for sure drops off or he for sure picks up where I drop off in the moments where hopefully this helps all the other girls or stay at home wives out there. In the moments where I'm like, I want to be doing more, I want to be, you know, a better wife or whatever. I'm trying to improve the skills or whatever you want to call it, I'm trying to improve the things I already do to make it even better for him. So like obviously I want to become a better cook, better baker, I want to make the house better. Like Cleaner decorate it better for you like, and whatever it may be, just like trying. If there's ever times where you feel like you're not doing enough or you're twiddling your thumbs, just like get better at what you're already doing instead of adding volume. Because that's what I was trying to do. I was trying to add volume to my day to day. What can I do that would be more and is there a job I can go get? When in reality it's like you don't need to add more, you just need to be better at what you already do.

More and better before new.

That's right. What responsibilities do we each feel naturally belong to us? And which ones do do. Did we assign intentionally?

I feel like mine is definitely hunt and kill, like offense. And then I think offense and defense is the way to break it up.

We just, it's a very, we just like very much enjoy the traditional. Yeah. Roles of marriage, I guess. So do we feel society respects stay at home wives the same way it respects working professionals?

You know, it's funny. So we had training this past week for Augusta owners. One of them was a young guy, I would GUESS he's early 20s, like 21, 22. And in his introduction he said she's in relation to his wife. He just had a baby, four month old. He said, she's just a stay at home mom. And I said, you know, we just were introducing ourselves around and I said, I have to do this every single time I hear this. But when I was 10 years, 10 or 11, I went to like one of my friends first doctor checkups. And the doctor asked me, hey, what does your parents do? So my dad, dad's minister. My mom's just a stay at home mom. Just a stay at home mom. He stopped me, he's like 60 years old. I ended up shadowing him. A few years later while I was in college, he stopped me and said, you never say just stay at home mom. That's a full time job 24, 7. And so I did that to this guy at Owner Channel said I just have to do this because it happened to me in an episode. Never forgot it. And every time I hear just thrown in there, I gotta correct it. So that was kind of funny I would say someone saying just a stay home mom. I think it's, it's just a stay home mom or stay at home wife in general. There's so much value that you can bring. It's just not going to come up on a balance sheet or a Profit and loss statement. And I had the fortunate. Like, I feel like if I didn't have 10 years of living by myself, I wouldn't have seen the value that you bring to the relationship. And I probably would have seen it more like you in terms of like you need to do more or like you need to contribute differently. After living so long by myself, you start to realize that like, I was never home, I always worked. Like having a place at home that is safe and that you want to be at and you feel you can relax in is like super valuable. And it gives me the stamina to keep doing this for a lot longer than if I just kept doing a Zoom 4 or just, just worked and worked and worked and you just collapsed every night. And so there's a lot of value that I think if someone, if there's someone listening, which only 30% of our audience is women, but for those 30%.

I love you guys.

If you're in that role of supporting an entrepreneur, just realize you have a lot of value. And if they're a younger guy, they might not realize that quite yet because I told you before five or six years ago, I would not have been able to realize the value that you bring and kind of relieve you of having to worry about that. That's been a concern of yours. And I'm like, it's fine, like, there's so much value you bring, but I only, I am only cognizant of that because I live by myself for 10 years and I know the difference. So I'm very grateful actually for that because I would probably be more comparative in terms of what you. How you think.

I definitely very much enjoy being the behind the scenes helper. Like I'd rather not be for an example, like just I'd rather not be the person in front of the camera. I'd rather be the one recording kind of thing. So I do enjoy being able to help you.

Behind the scenes and, but, but to also combat that. Like, the reason why I get so in my head sometimes about like I should be doing more is because I don't see the value in what I do as much as you would see. See, like you made a video that performed well. Whereas, like.

This is such a bad.

That's where I have to get better at showing how much I am thankful.

I don't know. I don't think that's your responsibility.

I think it's, it's easier to. Like you're saying it is harder to measure.

Yes, yes, thank you. That's perfectly said. Like, what I do is harder to measure than what he does. So I think it's just a matter of, like, coming in terms of the fact, like, what I do is valuable because it gives him the, like, just more endurance to do what you do.

Stay on the field for offense.

That's right. What does support look like for each of our roles, and is it different?

Support, like, I'm supporting you and you supporting me?

Yeah.

Okay. So I think supporting you, if benchmarks of success for your role is.

Making a place for me to be able to feel like I want to come home and I feel relaxed and it's a safe place away from work where there's quote, unquote, bloodshed happening all the time, then I think that I need to do a better job in terms of supporting that by expressing how much I appreciate it. And when you do such a great.

Job at it, you do a great job.

I'm just saying, I'm just, like, responding to the question, how do I support you? Is I simply be better at communicating the value of your role because it's less apparent to your point. Like, there's not a chart of, like, brand is wifey ness this week. Right. Whereas, like, yeah, views, profit, loss statements, bank balances. It's easy for you to measure. Like, am I doing a good job on offense?

Support looks like letting Michael work and just kind of being like, hands off when it's needed. And also just, like, making home a place where he. It's like a good environment for him, you know, where he can, like, just drop his bags and relax after a long day. Should finances be a shared responsibility, even if only one person earns the income? I picked this question because the answer is yes. Like, you. You could say, like, he is responsible for making the money, but I'm responsible for. For taking care of it and not wasting it, you know, so it's responsibility that looks a little bit differently. Like, I guess he's responsible for bringing it in. I'm responsible for keeping it in and not just blowing it on, you know, like, pointless things.

Yeah, it sounds bad to say I make the money, you spend it, but, like, the way that you spend it is your role. Like, you don't spend overly. And, like, if you look at every dollar, like, that's the app we keep, keep track of everything, the budget. I don't hardly put anything in there. Like, I only spend on business because I'm not really taking care of the home. But you're actually responsible for making sure that, like, our outgoing every month is not 20 grand a month, it's six or whatever it is for personal expenses. And so you do a great job of like making sure everything's tracked and you don't blow it. And if you blow it, you tell me or you feel bad about it. And so like one part of being a great in offense is knowing that the defense has your back. So if you mess up, so if I have a bad month, if we don't do well, like you're going to make sure we bring back the expenses and vice versa that like if you do defend and you do save that in the long run the offense is going to allow you to be able to like we can get nicer stuff, we can get a house or whatever. And so I think just communication on that perspective is really good. Again, we are very fortunate for it to be so clear cut. Like I make the money and I literally probably put into every $1 50th of the transactions of you because you do all the household stuff. And if I have a household need, I just tell you and you go buy it. So it's very easy for us. And I might make it clear because like there's most people don't have it so nice and clean cut. And especially if a younger entrepreneur or younger couple, they might be aspiring to be at where we're at. But right now the wife needs to work, they have some debt, student loans, the business is not profitable. And so that's a season. And so we're like in a different phase.

Definitely. We completely realize our situation is not as common and we're very, very blessed and fortunate to be in the position we are in. I think that's mostly it. We kind of covered everything else. Do you have any closing thoughts?

I think that as we've done more and more turnarounds and so many of them are coupled, it is pretty amazing the health of the marriage and the relationship it has to the health of the business and vice versa. The health of the business being correlative to the health of the relationship. And so I think it's like if either of those two things are broken, both of them die. And so if healthy business has a divorced founder, like that could potentially ruin the entire business and vice versa, if the business goes bankrupt, it could ruin the relationship. So knowing that those two things are so important, a lot of people will shy away from entering the business or having this type of discussion with their spouse because it's so high risk. Because you double the risk by having a business that most of them fail and Then you have a marriage that also. Most of them fail. And now you can put two of them together and say, either of these fail now, you're going to have a really bad time. That's really tough. Like, that's why it's so high risk, I think. And that's why I do like us to talk about it publicly. Because, like, it's a difficult proposition. Like, marriage in itself is difficult. You know, 50% of people getting divorced, then you put on top of that, like, most businesses, like, 80% of them won't last 10 years. So, like, you put those two things together now. Now, if either of these variables fail, both will fail.

Yeah.

And that's usually what happens. And so.

I would say, like, give grace to the other person that's working in the business. And then for the person that's working in the business, realize that you are putting so much time and your attention and energy on something else besides your spouse, and they're gonna feel it, and you gotta be cognizant of it. And, like, we're still figuring that out.

Yeah, emphasis on the. We're still figuring out. We don't know everything. We're still learning. But this is just to help if. If applicable.

Applicable. If it's applicable.

I love you. All right, folks, that is our random spiel. If you made it this far, you're a real one. But have a great week. We will see you in the next video. Bye.