HOW WE BALANCE BUSINESS AND MARRIAGE

Happy Saturday, folks. Or Happy Monday or happy whatever day of the week. You're watching this video.

Recently. We were just on that turnaround tour that I vlogged a couple vlogs ago. And one of the turnarounds that Mike did was a couple who owned a business together. And a lot of the topics that were brought up in that turnaround was very thought provoking. And it was actually some of the things that we've kind of talked about as far as like, balancing business and marriage. So. So we thought it'd be kind of interesting to cover some of those bases and kind of just like answer questions.

That.

Two years ago, the questions we would have had about our relationship.

Yeah, exactly.

So it mostly geared towards people that have a business and you're also trying to have a marriage that where the other person might not be working in the business as much all the time, or they. Maybe they are.

And so in no way, shape or form are we telling guys, this is what you should do. We're just saying, like, this is what we've done. Some of the conversations we've had when it comes to like, trying to figure out the balance of like his working in the business and our marriage and.

Just hope it's a conversation starter.

Exactly. That's the goal, honestly.

And if you're a dude that's single, have these conversations before you get married.

Exactly.

And you own a business, this is mostly most made for couple to have businesses.

Exactly.

If you don't have a business, you know, these are probably not useful.

It could still be interesting.

You could still watch the video, stay till the end.

Question was Brianna clout chasing? Wow. Yeah.

Even if you're not in business with your partner, this could still be good to strike up some conversations, be a little thought provoking. That's the goal here, honestly, is like, if you watch this with your partner or whatever and it's beneficial for you guys. Our work here is done well in.

The turnaround that we did the other week. It'll probably be a couple months before it's out. But basically they ended up separating. Still working in the business together. She was doing admin, he was doing operations. They actually like separated, like living different places for a while just because of the pressure.

There was a lot of emotional and mental stress on them while also starting their family. They had two children pretty close to after getting married. And like, back to back.

I'll preface all of this by saying if you have a business, the. The marriage stuff gets infinitely more difficult if you're struggling financially. And I Say that because it incorporates so much stress and like, the cortisol pumping through your veins when you can't make payroll the next day and you're trying to collect on payments and you're way behind on credit cards. Like, it's so bad that it'll eventually affect the marriage. So, like, I have a video on my main channel coming out soon about this.

I'm so excited.

And it's like, business. A healthy business allows for a healthy marriage, and a healthy marriage allows for a healthy business. And they're like codependent variables. They depend on each other. And so I think it's important to preface it by saying if you have a business that's struggling financially first, in my opinion, fix that. This is why I call on the Turnaround show. I always talk about, like, always follow the money. Focus on liquidity. Money solves everything. Because if you have more money then you in a. If your spouse is like, I want to spend more time with you, it's like, okay, great, now you have the money because the business is profitable to be able to delegate to other people and have the weekends off, for example, and spend time with your spouse. So fix the business. And that's like, with the turnaround that we did last week, I actually had to ask her, like, hey, can you give six more months of pain and working a lot of hours? Because we need that time to fix the business so then we can focus on the relationship.

So I'm sure as the wife, that's hard to hear because it's like, you want a fix now to help with the pain, but sometimes those things are necessary. So first question is, would you ever recommend couples go into business together?

I wouldn't force it. So, like, before, I think we talked about this, like, before you came along, I was more thinking I would get someone in the business with me. And therefore I was thinking I'd probably get someone that was a little older than me or had it like, it was a working professional, had like a career and stuff like that. That's what I thought I would get.

Yeah.

And then I just didn't want to force it. So, like, we quickly found that, okay, like, you don't want to be working 12, 14 hour days.

I told him I was willing to get in the weeds of the business if he really wanted me to, but I would not have enjoyed it.

I told you right up front that, like, hey, just FYI, I'd rather die than not work.

Mm.

And so, like, I can't. I'm not gonna say that I'M gonna be a normal 9 to 5.

I think kind of going off that vein. If you are getting into relationship at the time of life that Mike and I did, whereas, like, he was crushing it in the businesses and I had not really been involved heavily in a business like that. There has to be like a lot of communication beforehand. Like, Mike was really good about telling me and being very clear with the fact that the business was his life and like, he cared so much about it and that nothing would ever change that and he would rather die than not work. So if you are in the position where you're starting to date someone who owns a business or you are the business owner about to date someone else, like, just be clear about communication. People say a lot of the times that, like, the key to a great relationship is clear communication, but what does that mean?

So just be authentic to who you are and don't put a facade on. If you're a single dude, you're like, oh, like, the book told me to do this. It's like, eventually you won't want to be the book after five or ten years. I just knew that I wanted to be very upfront that the business thing is not going away. It's not going to get married and be like, oh, I just want to live on a nice cushy nine to five and make 100 grand and be happy. That was not the goal. And I told you, I said I wouldn't be happy with anything less than a billion dollars.

If you have the mindset like, oh, I can change them. Or if you're the person who's like, I can change to mold myself into their preference, that's not gonna work out.

And then if they're gonna support that goal, you in turn owe them to support their goals. So being like one of the things that was not challenging, but things that we at the beginning is like, you didn't have as much clear direction, like what you wanted of life in terms of career and non family stuff.

I'm eight years younger than him, by.

The way, so eight and a half. Almost nine, to be clear, because I'm 30, 21 right now.

Yeah. So still very much like figuring out what career path I wanted to take and like what I wanted to do long term.

Yeah. So like, I was pretty clear of my goals. And so I think over the past year, one of the things is like getting clear about what your goals are so I can support you as much as you support me on my goals, which is like, I was very clear from day one. Like, we're going to become billionaires and, like, that's going to take a ton of work. And so I'm being very upfront.

Yep. So just be very, very clear about what both your goals are. See if you can align on it and if you can't.

If I was trying to scare away, I was trying to scare her away. I knew. I knew she didn't come from anything like that. And, like, my family isn't either, so. And I know her, like, our background and how our families were raised. So I knew I could scare away. If I was gonna scare away, I knew what I needed to say, and I knew one of them was like that. And so I knew I just need to be honest. And if it's scared away, great. We would be two date wonder and I would say goodbye. But she didn't leave. Next question.

Oh, I guess this one's kind of for me. What's the hardest part about me being married to an entrepreneur?

I think I know you're gonna say.

I don't like saying, like, it's hard being married to an entrepreneur. That's not. I'm being completely honest.

Okay.

Like, I would not say, oh, it's so. I would never, ever say it's hard being married to you. Are you kidding?

Just generalize it. Okay, Entrepreneur, like, what's the hard. Like, I could answer this for you. This is easy.

It's definitely, like, for me, my love language is time, like, spending quality time with somebody, actually just Mike specifically, nobody else. My love language with Mike specifically is spending quality time with him. And so it's like, there could be, like, a longer work day, for example, or even on the weekends, there's, like, something that has to take his attention. So I would say that's probably the hardest thing is, like, whenever I really want to spend time with him and there's something else taking his attention away. But it's gotten so much better over time. Like, I've been able especially to be around more of the Augusta owners and go to events like Conference or the Seven Figure Club. Like, I see who he's working for. I see who he's fighting for, and like, to see that there are families behind.

Basically behind the screen. Like, I don't. I no longer think. And I never really have, but, like, I know I don't have a mindset. Like, Mike just goes to work and is behind a computer and would rather do that than spend time with me. Like, I don't think that. I realize, like, there's a way bigger picture to this.

Okay. How long it take you to go to morph into that, though? Because at the beginning, maybe it was that way.

It's always a process. It's always a process. Like, even though I'm better at understanding the reality of it now and I'm not so, like, emotionally charged by a negative feeling behind it, it's. I'm like, still coming to that realization, but it's like over time, it was never like a rude awakening, like, oh, you know, I changed my mind about.

It, you know, so the other love of my life.

Yeah, exactly, exactly. It is the other love of his life. But he always told me from day one that I take priority. And so even though it might not mean that he spends more time with me than he does with the business, I know that his loyalty and his like, first love is me. So it's a matter of being confident in our marriage and the love that you show me. So it's, it's really something I need to work on more because he's never, ever given me a reason to, like, second guess his love for me. It's just like, I need to become more confident in things that he's already.

Shown me, and then I need to get better at being able to create quality time. So that was a big thing at the beginning was like the defining of that, that word, what quality time was. Because it wasn't quantity of time. Yeah, it was quality. So like, I, I live by myself for 10 years before we were together. And so I worked all the time and like, there was never a time, like I put my phone away ever. Like, I don't even know where my phone's right there. Like there, like, that was never a thing. I always, on my phone, I was always. If you messaged me, I would get to within two minutes, emails, like, everything. And I had it all dialed in with systems and things. But still. So to like, for you to be affected by when I take my phone out at the beginning was like, I was like, whoa, whoa, that matters. So now in retrospect, people have been married for a long time. Like, duh. Yeah. I think that's been the thing I've had to learn is like, knowing what your love language is and then making sure that I, I do that the same way that you love me and therefore then sacrifice time and all the stuff that I put towards the businesses, knowing that quality time is the only thing that you want. Like, that's really all Brianna wants. Yeah, She's a very simple person.

I don't ask for much But I do ask for time.

Quality time. So, you know, defining that was, you know, we like terms. Defining terms. So we need to know what was. What was quality time, how much was it? And giving her the confidence to you to be able to.

Say what you need. I felt like that was a big thing.

We've grown so much in the past year.

We should make one of these every year, honestly, because we make this vlog 95% of the time just for us. Just so you all know, we only make it public because then there's stakes, in which case editing makes it fun.

It's true.

But we like watching the videos ourselves. We go back a year ago and just watch the videos. All right, go ahead.

But also, this is not. This is not. Making this video is not us saying that we have it all figured out, because that's not true whatsoever. Like, we are still working these things out, but this is. We're just sharing what we've learned along the way. So I say the hardest. The hardest part about being with an entrepreneur is the time. And you say that the hardest part for you, being married to a non entrepreneur is like, figuring out what quality time means to me, basically. Is that what you would say?

I thought you were going to say, like, having the. The feeling of being second place sometimes.

Yeah, I used to struggle with that a lot more. Now I'm a lot more confident in our relationship.

Right. That's good.

So, yeah, so at first.

Like, topics, the only thing I think about is business. That's the only thing I think about. And then, so sometimes it's like, I. You want me to share, even. Even if it's about business. But it could take me 15 minutes of explanation to be able to have a conversation with you about the thing I'm thinking about. So, like, we're trying to solve this current thing with, like, Augusta Leeds. It's like, well, do I'm gonna have to explain for 15 or 20 minutes about all the ramifications of the program for you to understand? Then we can have a conversation. So sometimes conversations have been a challenge. I still think that's like a big.

Thing because usually I can tell whenever he's really deep in thought about something, and I'm like, what are you thinking about? And he's like, nothing. And I'm like, I've been better about saying something.

I've been about saying the topics. Yeah, but sometimes it's like you say nothing. Mostly because, like, I know you're not interested in hearing about the deep intricacies of Facebook ads. And the algorithm.

But it's not a matter of, like, if I'm interested in that topic in particular. I just want to talk to you.

I know. I feel bad even talking about something you don't care about.

Do you see that we're still figuring this out. Do you ever feel like the business comes before the marriage?

I guess that'd be directed at you.

Oh, well, no, I don't. Like we kind of said earlier, like, I've gotten a lot more confident in our relationship and his love for me. So before maybe. Before maybe, I felt mildly like, for, like, I have a better term, threatened.

That, you know, I was second place. But that's not true at all, and he's proven that over and over. Mike, do you ever feel guilty for how much you. How much time you spend on work?

Only if it's affecting Brianna. I don't think about anything when I'm working. I only think I think about Brianna every day of the. Every moment of the day that I'm not actively working, like, deep in. In a meeting or strategy of thought or, like, working the book, et cetera. Every other minute, I'm either with Brianna or thinking about Brianna. And so the thing is, I go to work. I'm pretty locked in.

Whenever he gets home from work, I'm like, I've been thinking about you all day. He's like, I thought about you too.

Not all day. We're being honest here, folks.

Yeah.

And so one thing that I would say that I've had to learn is I need to break levels of concentration at work to be able to connect with you, because you don't have something all day long that you're working on and, like, deep in thought about, you're thinking of me. Which I appreciate. It's awesome. I appreciate that. However, from my perspective, I have this other thing preoccupied, my brain, and I need to unlock it for, like, every couple hours at least, to connect with you. And so I would say to. My previous version of Michael is like, either the creative system of some sort. At the beginning, at first, I actually had alarms. Now I don't. But, like, now it's more, wait, alarms on your phone.

And, like, text me.

Yeah.

Are you serious?

Because otherwise, I just totally forget. I just walked in.

I didn't know that at first.

Now I don't.

Now I don't.

But now it's like, at least four or five times a day. I need to connect with you. And just. Even if I say hi or send.

You a picture or something, yeah, sure.

It's the little things, guys. Next on the. Ow. Next on the docket.

How do you keep the romance alive when you're always talking about work?

We don't always talk about it.

Yeah, that's not true.

No, because you're not in the business all the time. That's where I feel like it'd be challenging if you were in the business all the time. I feel like that would become a problem. And I think, like we were talking about the other day, like, basically, if I'm not working, I'm with you. And it's almost. It'd be crazy if I was, like, working from home. I can't imagine, like, working from home or working with you all day long. Because then we have no.

There'd be no separation.

No separation or distance whatsoever. And so we have the advantage of every day I go to work and I come back and you. You prepared for that time and you're doing. You do a fantastic job of making home a place I want to be at. So even though I'm working a lot and I always want to be working more that I still want to, I always want to be home.

And I would say that would be like, if someone is listening to this and your entrepreneur spouse doesn't, like, spend time with you, I would say make them being home better than them working.

Here's a big lesson that I've had to learn throughout all this is like, taking extreme ownership of how you feel in the moment. So, like, for example, if I were to feel at the beginning that, like, Mike enjoyed working more than spending time with me, then it's like, okay, how can I make the time we spend together so enjoyable that he will want to spend more time with us? It's like, don't take such a victim mentality and be like, well, he just doesn't love me. It's like, well, try your best. Put your best foot forward. And if that still has. You don't see any change in that, then maybe present the problem in a.

Very.

Well worded and calm manner. Not emotional and just like, just talk about it.

V started making me cookies.

Had to bribe him.

He's at work late at night and I sent him a picture of the cookie and he's home in 10 minutes. I'm just kidding.

It's not.

But yeah, just like, take extreme ownership and put your best foot forward. Because you can't expect their best foot if you don't put your best foot in.

Do what you can control.

That's right.

Don't be a victim.

Last question. Did you guys sign a prenup, and if not, why?

Okay, you start it, and I'll. I'll give the definitive answer.

Okay, we did not sign a prenup. Why is that? Why did we not?

Oh, you want me to answer this? Okay. My thought is, if you were, like, super chill, like, yeah, I'll sign it, then I wouldn't have had you sign it. And that's just, like, straight ripoff of Alex Ramosi. So that's what he did with Layla. The thing is that here's the deal. At the time when they did that, they didn't have anything. And so I think the part that I was really thinking through is, like, not necessarily how it affect us or me. If anything crazy happened, it'd be more a matter of how it affected Gust Nation and then having the investors in the holdco now. And so that was, like, the biggest thing I was thinking about. However, I also knew that if you were. If you were supporting the businesses as much as you do now, like, traveling with me and, like, everything is built kind of optimizing for the my business stuff, that it'd be very, very weird and awkward if you didn't, like, quote, own any of it. And, like, I could hold that over you, like, so. Because I. I felt too like that by doing that, it showed you that I prioritized you over the business, because if I held it separate from you, then it's like, oh, like, he won't give me any of that. So. I was already determined years ago that I didn't want a prenup, but I did want to bring it up and see how you'd respond. And so do you want to talk about how that went down?

I'll let you talk about it.

Because we were remote at the time you were in Alabama.

We were doing long distance.

We were long distance just stunk, and.

We were FaceTiming, and we would play this game called Flamingo or We're Not Really Strangers, those two games, because they were just, like, good conversation starters. And so, like, we were used to being like, hey, I have a question, like, really random. And he was like, I have something I want to talk to you about. But it's like, kind of you. You made it sound like a big deal. And I was like, okay.

And you picked up on you, literally.

Oh, I knew it. Because at this point, we had talked about, like, everything under the sun. We. He's like, such a good communicator, and he wanted to make sure if we were gonna take this to the next level, if we were gonna get married, that we needed to cover all the bases. So I was like, this is the only thing left. And I just knew it was a matter of time before it came up. So I was not surprised at all.

Well, I knew you weren't a gold digger because literally, on the second day, you're like, so what's this Augusta thing? I think it was probably several weeks into, like, our relationship.

I was still trying to understand what copilot was a few months into it.

And how do you make money on this YouTube thing? Like, how do you have all these people working for you Anyways? So I knew you weren't a gold digger. That was great. But more importantly, so you brought it up. You're like, oh, you, like. You mean. Because we were like. I was being around the bush, and you're like, oh, you mean, like, would I sign a prenup?

Yeah.

And yeah. Yeah, I sign one, like, right now. I was like, okay. And then I think we just kept talking about other stuff that night. And then the next morning, I texted. I'm like, oh, just by the way.

Like, specifically remember that?

Yeah. I was at the gym. And I was like, okay, I need to tell her so she's not overthinking this stuff. And I'm like, just so you know, like, I don't want to sign up for that.

I wasn't really overthinking it. I was like, I'll sign it if he wants me to now.

On purpose. I wanted to let you sleep on it. I wanted to see if you retract.

Yeah, that's hilarious.

So the next day, I was like, hey, just FYI, I would not want you to sign a prenup.

Before Mike, I had always had a very, very negative idea of a prenup for other couples, because it's like, if you sign one, you're basically, like, assuming that something bad could happen, which I know is precautionary, and you're hoping that nothing bad happens, but. And then I met him, and then I realized, like, the more we talked about the business and stuff, I was like, okay, it would be horrible if, like, someone came in and completely.

It's the mental health then for me, right?

There's, like, a lot of things that come with it. And one of Mike's bigger things was, like, not. Not necessarily that he wouldn't trust his spouse, me. But also, like, if someone. If you went off in a rock party, if. I, like, lost my mind. Not that I've ever shown signs of that.

Let's be clear.

But you don't know it.

Like, how it would affect all of Augusta, all the franchisees, all the employees, and now people investing in the business. It would be a huge detriment at this stage. And so, yeah, I think. I think one thing my dad always said that stuck with me is like. Because, like, there was times when I was like, 23, 24, like, I'm never getting married because too risky. He always had a good thing. Like, there's risk to everything in life. Like getting in a car, There's a level of risk, but you do it because it saves you so much time. And, like, how I thought about is, like, there's a level of risk in doing this, but the enjoyment and the satisfaction and the return on that is, like, so much so worth it. It's worth the risk. And then I have to gauge the risk. Like, if you want, out of 10 times you got in a car, you got an accident, like, one out of ten times you wouldn't get in a car. Right.

But I had to look at you and assess the risk of you taking a malicious approach against me. And so neither the probably. This thing is like, our. Both of our families don't have a lot of divorce. Like, your parents, my parents, my grandparents. Your grandparents. And so, like, that was also a good sign.

Yeah.

And then meeting your mom was like the final check.

Oh, yeah. Did we ever talk about that in the how we met video? I don't think so.

Yeah. Once I knew I met your mom, I'm like, okay, she'll be fine.

Yeah.

She will never be malicious about that.

Thanks, Mom. Got me a husband.

Okay, now questions from us. So if someone was like, I know I need a prenup because let's say. Let's say they're. It's like their second relationship or they have kids, or.

Let'S say they've been.

Burnt before or that even, like, it's. It's a lot in their family. It's like their parents and all of their older siblings are getting divorced. Like, if that was the case for you, I would have been much more cautious.

Yeah.

Like, if your parents got divorced, it was all throughout your family. If your siblings were all divorced, I'd be like, this is. I'm really getting into a risky situation here. So what would you say to someone that is going into a relationship and that is the case? And let's just say they have $50 million net worth.

Me, two years ago, would have been like, don't sign a prenup no matter what. It's like, if you don't trust the person enough to marry them without it, then don't marry them at all. But now it's like, I understand. Because there's more factors than just having faith that the other person's not gonna screw you over. There's like mental health or, you know, you just never know. So now I would say just talk about it with the person, see how they react, see if they're receptive to it or not, and just like, weigh all the pros and cons with him. Like, this is very much a conversation to be had between the two of you and not just like a one sided decision. Because if he would have been like, oh, hey, by the way, we're gonna sign a prenup, or like, I have the papers, I just need you to sign here. Like. And that was like the first thing that we had ever talked about a prenup. I would have been like, oh, it'd.

Be so awkward now. Like, you just. Like, in hindsight, if you had a prenup.

It's true.

Like, I expect so much from you in terms of supporting the businesses. So either A, you have to be like, on salary, which you are for the meeting, but like, very small for tax purposes. Basically just for taxes and 401k. But, like, otherwise it'd be weird if I was like, asking for more then, like, we'd be a negotiation of, like, okay, well then I should get more money. And like, then I'd have to, like, that'd be such a weird conversation to have. Like, that'd be more weird, like, than anything. So. Yeah, I can't, I can't even like, the trip the last two weeks, like, you cooking and like, taking care of everyone and all the rest of it and booking stuff just be weird.

Yeah. I can't really speak for anyone else, but for our situation, that's, that's just how we felt about it.

I think there's one big caveat and one thing needs to be made clear is that, like, if you would have came into my life even a year ago, like a year before, when we were in the middle of Bug Hill, it would have been very different because, like, I, the business was sinking and like, I had to be working every minute of every day. And like, I really sympathize with couples that are watching this and the business struggling or you're just trying to get off the ground because the first few years of a new business, you just have to keep working. Like, it's just, it's a, it's a feature and not a bug of getting the business off the ground. And we were fortunate enough to where I was past that, and I could be like, okay, I'll try to get off a reasonable hour. And it doesn't. And it doesn't. I feel like the stress comes when you knowing me not working 14 hours a day would mean no food on the table. Or if we had kids and, like, depends. Like, there's even more levels of stress. And fortunately, we only get past the first part, which is, like, we don't worry about where our next food, the meal is coming from.

Yeah.

We were worried where we're gonna get our house because we're still at an apartment.

Oh, my goodness.

Yes. Not a big deal.

I will say. Yeah. To your point, if we would have gotten together during Bug Hill, quote unquote.

Back in 2023, early 24.

Early 2024, we would not have lasted. And like, I say that because I've grown so much as a person in the past year with him. And so me at that stage of life, in that stage of life, I would not have been able to understand it. I would have definitely thought, like, the business is taking priority over us, so this is not going to work. Whereas now, like, that's way different. And I would. I would see it from a whole different perspective. Back then, it wouldn't work. So I have so much respect for the couple, the turnaround couple that we saw. Like, they're both really in the business and they're both really struggling. I have so much respect for her.

And there's just so much more stress when you're financially struggling.

Yeah, exactly.

And if you have kids on top of that, even another. Those are the two things we actually can't speak to is financial stress plus kids, plus dealing with all the things we just talked about, which is like, one spouse wanting more time, one wanting to work, and like, the pressure of. For, especially if it's a single breadwinner, like, wanting to provide for the family, but then also wanting to provide, like, provide financially for the family, but also the stress of providing emotionally for their partner.

Yeah.

That is wanting that time. That's tough. That's like a really tough mentally taxing thing for him. Like, ended up being, you know, depressive and wanted to take his life in.

No way, shape or form. Are we experts. We have been married for eight months, But. And this is not us telling you what you should do. This is just. We just answered a couple questions we thought were most commonly asked or wondered. And this is just what we've done.

Hopefully it's a conversation starter. I think everyone, I think most couples have this trouble around time spent with the business versus time spent together. I think that's a very common thing because in entrepreneurship you don't have a 9 to 5. Like, if I had a 9 to 5, you're like, oh, he's going to work. He has to be there and he.

Will be back at five.

Or even, even if not, it's like, oh, like someone else is. This is actually the key. Someone else is telling him he has to do it.

Yeah.

Versus I make the decision to work.

That's so true.

Yeah, that's the key. And that can be difficult because it means I am actively making a decision when I'm at work to not be with you. And that's more damaging. I feel like are hard for some people then realizing, oh, like the boss told them they have to work later. Like now the boss can be the angry person. Versus like, no, you made a decision to make more money or like take the client call or have an extra meeting and not be with me. And that's. That's difficult.

I just know how Michael feels whenever he's not able to work. And that is not something I want him to feel all the time. He is his happiest when he's had a productive day and he's figured he solved problems. Big problem solver over here. So I want to see him accomplish his goals because that is just him at his happiest.

I think it goes back to again, this kind of comes from Alex is like supporting each other's goals. And I think as we become more clear what our goals are, I know how to support you so that when you support my goals, I appreciate that and I can return the favor. And in the perfect world, you align each other's goals. So, like by me hitting my goals, I can help you get to your goals. And that's nice. And I know there are couples that like where they've made a ton of money, but because there's not clear on what they actually want, it's actually difficult to serve each other or love each other because they can't. They can't put the fuel of the money that they've earned towards something else for their spouse.

I will say also, before anyone gets married, this is what we did. And it's something I highly recommend.

Like, talk about all the taboo topics.

Sit down. And true, but sit down and talk about what your own goals are, what your individual goals are. Because you set that foundation. You're communicating. It's like, oh, okay, I can understand that Mike feels great whenever he's been productive. So therefore I need to be okay with whenever he needs to solve a problem or he needs to get on his computer for five minutes to do something that's totally fine because he will be so much happier afterwards or he knows, like, if I feel like confident if I had a good workout that day, for example, or whatever it may be, like, that's number I feel my best.

Feels good and feels good and looks good. She feels good.

What can I say? Just like, it all boils down to communication, but operational, like, break that down. What does it mean? What does it mean to have good communication? Talk about what you want for the future with each other and see how.

We had to use that word a lot at the beginning of our relationship.

Also figure out what the other person's love language is. I feel like it's slightly overhyped, but also kind of not because this was a game changer for us.

Guys, there is a separate book that is Gary Chapman, I don't know, I forget the author of Five Love Languages here, another one just for guys. Highly recommend it.

But just figure out what the other person's love language is and it will be so much easier after that. Once he found out my love language was quality time, that helped him. And then his love language is the sixth one which is letting him. Supporting his goals and letting him work.

That was part of our vows. In our vows we made where like there's non. What's called non negotiables and like things that we had to do in our relationship. And my main one was that support.

My goals like that we wrote for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We made our private vows.

Yeah. In a book. Mine are like 10 times longer than Brandon. It took me like four days to write my vows out.

We actually. Oh, we decided we're going to refine them every year.

Make amendments to the contract anyways.

That's a whole other thing. But this is just us sharing what's worked for us. And we're still learning we're not perfect. But the better you get at communicating, the better the relationship.

You know, one thing I learned in this conversation.

What's that?

I have a mental model now as to why it's difficult for non entrepreneurial spouses.

Okay.

It is. What I said is like, you know, I have to make the decision to not be with you. That's what's the difference. Because there are employees that work 12 and 14 hour days, but they don't get the heat because they don't get to decide someone else told them to do that. That's important. That's key, right?

I mean, that is true. That's very true. Because it's like, oh, he's deciding to be on his phone right now instead of spending time with me, you know? So, anyways, hopefully that created some clarity for you guys or sparked some conversations.

Conversation starter.

Yep. Do you have anything else to add?

Bye.

That's all for now. Bye.