Transcript of a humorous, scripted YouTube ad by Mike Andes (with a second speaker). The ad promotes 'Augusta Lawn Care Services' through short skits, mock customer dialogue, repeated taglines, and a parody 'side effects' monologue; it repeatedly directs listeners to a call-to-action URL (transcript shows variants: "augustalawncareservices.com" and "augusta lawn care services.com"). The transcript closes with an announcement for a Landscape Summit scheduled January 13–15, 2022.
Questions this video answers
January 13–15, 2022.
Chapters
Oh, what?
Is your mower buried six feet under?
Basic. Your mower will never start on the first pole. Why risk a trip to the hospital? Take a break from the chaos and call Augusta Lawn Care Services, your personal greenskeeper. Weekly mowing small projects and property cleanups will have your lawn looking the best on the block. Augusta's professionalism and quality is unmatched. Make your neighbors jealous and go to augustalawncareservices.com to get your free estimate today.
I need someone to actually talk to and probably make it more believable if I'm like, I'll be here.
I'll be real fast.
Okay, so 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. I'm forgetting how to count.
You've been a great customer. I really appreciate your business.
Hey, Karen. Looks like your head's in the clouds. Oh, sorry. Gray hair. Gotcha.
Hey, Sally. Looking good there. Looking good. Grass is looking real nice, Joe. Real nice.
Augusta Lawn Care Services, your personal greenskeeper.
Yeah, yeah. We're gonna trim it nice and square. Sort of like your in laws. Hey, Billy. I love the red mulch. I just love it. Looks kinda like your ex's old hair. Clean up. Clean up, everybody, everywhere. Clean up, clean up, everybody. Do your share.
Not that personal.
How does that make you feel?
Hey, Bobby, I know you said Joe was supposed to be on the business trip, but I was down the street yesterday trimming Sally Jo's bushes. And I tell you, I him and Mr. Jones said that he should go over there and bring your cookies. But then I was talking to Ms. Sally Junior. I already said Sally Junior sick.
Let's just fake a conversation.
What's the conversation? I talked to him for a little bit and he was saying that Sally Jr. Was going down the street. Kept going down the street. We're just trying to like, everyone's a junior. Yeah.
Junior.
Did you hear? Honey do this. Honey do that. Mow the lawn, trim the bushes, pull the weeds. I've heard it for years. I just wish someone could take care of it for me. You could hire Augusta Lawn Care.
Ah, man up and do it yourself. Who doesn't have time to do their own lawn? Oh, I don't know. Maybe someone like Mike here who doesn't have time. Your neighbors and your wife are gonna think you're a wuss. You've got time, but you don't really have time. You have ballet lessons later on. You have what? But you could hire the neighbor boy, Jimmy, to do it.
All right, cut, cut. Just hire Augusta.
Augusta Lawn Care Services, your personal greenskeeper.
Have a tight shot, and then all you get is me, like, jumping into frame and doing it, and then you zoom out.
And I'll be like.
Wow, you.
You shockingly did perfect job saying frame two.
Is that last branch just always out of reach? Are you tired of being wrapped up in equipment you don't even know how to use?
Take a break from the chaos and call Augusta Lawn Care Services. Your greens keeper weekly mowing, small projects and property cleanups will have your lawn looking the best on the block. Augusta's professionalism and qualities unmatched. Make your neighbors jealous and go to augusta lawn care services.com to get your free estimate today.
You have to hold this down.
Oh, yeah. No, I say I.
That.
Fine. That worked.
Quality.
Man, I just wish. Oh, sorry, man. Just like.
It's like she thinks I don't have a job. I don't have time for this crazy.
Are you having a hard time keeping up with your lawn? Are your neighbors complaining about your overgrown mess? Struggling to learn how to use your lawn equipment properly? You don't have to wait any longer. There's a solution. Augusta Lawn Care Services is here for you. Homeowners across the country are being prescribed Augusta for their lawn care needs. If you need mowing, weeding, property cleanups, or small projects, check out Augusta Lawn Care Services. If you steer your neighbor's lawn for more than four hours, consult an Augusta Lawn Care Services provider. Side effects may include lingering in lawn free time, herb appeal, looky leaves, invisible grass, missing leaves, neighborhood jealousy, hair, spending too much time with your spouse, lack of chores, weedless flyer beds, having to watch football game on Sundays, using your lawn for golf course, making it to your kids sock in some extreme cases may cause emotional attachment to your lawn. Ask a neighbor. Augustus, right?
Creepy.
Like you could always get a Gus of lawn care to do it.
Okay, cool. So that walls roll. Whatever you say. Try not to move. Yeah, I'm trying to keep my feet fl. Oh, hey, Jim. How's it going?
And it'll like, come down to here.
Yeah.
And then start talking to it.
Okay.
Let me grab the COVID real quick since the rain can get.
Ah, wasn't that bad. Not any more than this cup of here coffee, which is a lie from the pit of.
I heard.
The cup of coffee guarantee. Oh, man. Okay.
This must have cost you an arm and a leg.
Sorry.
Hey, Joe, how you doing? Oh, hey, Jimmy. How you doing? Oh, pretty good. I didn't have to come over and say your lawn looks amazing. Ah, thank you, thank you. Sir, did the old wife pull you out here and do some stripes? Oh, no. Got a gust of lawn. Care to do? It must have cost you an arm and a leg. Ah, not that bad. Not any more than my old wife spends at Target on a weekend. Would it take them two weeks to get out here? Oh, no. Just a quick call over there off and they're out here the next day. The bushes are trimmed, the leaves are picked up. It looks amazing. Looks like you might need a gust of too. I seen some bushes and leaves that look completely out of order. So you give them a call too, my friend. Ah, well, maybe I'll give them a call. You have a good day, son. Oh, you have a good one there, buddy. Oh, dude, I know. They're so stupid. Ah, wasn't that bad. No more than we just spent on old Sally Junior's tombstone at the graveyard.
Ah, not much more than old Karen spends it on the weekend at Target. Ah, no, they put on my card the old Sally.
This must have cost you an arm.
And a leg to get this done. Ah, no, nothing like my bitcoin games.
Okay, we gotta have something enough inside of there.
Hey, everyone. I'd like to invite you to Landscape Summit. It's a conference I have in January. It's gonna be the 13th, 14th and 15th of January, 2022. It's here locally and I'm really looking forward to meeting other landscapers like yourself.
