Owning Your Money, Your Body, and Your Desires

Foreign. Hey, badass. Welcome to Keepin It Real, the podcast where we ditch the nonsense, say it like it is, and redefine what it means to feel good in your body and your life. I'm Misty Tripoli, creator of the Groove Method, and I'm here to help you move, dance and live authentically and unapologetically. So if you're ready to break free from the societal expectations, embrace your truth, find your own unique groove. You are in the right place. So let's keep it real, let's keep it wild, and let's keep it moving. The next wave of my spiritual awakening was about to happen. And because I felt like I'd had this powerful awakening, that didn't mean I'm just like this fully conscious spiritual person. No, I became aware of myself. I became aware of what I was doing and saying and all of that, but that doesn't mean I was completely aware. I didn't have my dark shadows and blind sides and things. I was like, it's an onion. The layers of it keep coming. And so my next layer was about to be revealed. And this is really powerful because so many women deal with this shit. Okay? I know it because I can see it. Because as I teach dance around the world, most of the people that come to my sessions are women. And I see how locked they are in their bodies, how stuck they are in their bodies to get them to dance. There's so much restriction in the body and not necessarily from pain, like physical pain, like, okay, I've hurt my shoulder, I can't move it. No, it's a mental emotional block that blocks the body and a story and so many things that go into it. I don't know how deep I'm going to go into that in this episode, but that needs to be a whole episode. So I witnessed this in women all around the world. What I became aware of in myself. I had realized that sex didn't really mean anything to me. It was just the means of that's how I ended up in a relationship and loving someone. And it was that it, like, felt good. But I wasn't free in my sexuality at all. It was an act that I would do. I enjoyed it, but really I felt it was for them and not for me. And, you know, I just kind of put on the act, fake the orgasm, do whatever it is to make the man feel amazing or I'm into men, but that would make the man feel amazing. And I never really made it about me and my pleasure. And I really started to wake up to this, and especially when I went on that three years of I married myself and really was loving myself, but the one thing I wasn't doing was giving myself physical pleasure. In those three years, yeah, I married myself, but I didn't make love to myself. I was making my love to myself by spoiling myself and taking myself out and giving myself the things that I wanted. And, you know, going out salsa dancing and taking myself out to dinner. I was making love to myself that way as well. But I'm talking about, like, physical, sensual love. Like, I knew how to masturbate. I knew how to have an orgasm. Like, that was easy. I've been doing it since I was fucking eight years old. Like, I didn't know what I was doing back then, but I knew it fucking felt good. And it's just like a quick release. Like, I never actually, like, took the time to stop, slow down, and, like, really, like, touch my body in a sensual way and sexual way. Because I felt stupid. I was so uncomfortable in my body. Even though I was a dancer, I still felt uncomfortable. I felt stupid. Like, almost like I was embarrassed for myself with myself. Like, go figure. I don't know how that works, but that's how it felt. Because after three years of not having a boyfriend or having sex, you know, all I was doing was masturbating. And it wasn't, again, a sexual thing. It was just a quick release. There wasn't even a sexual fought. Like, it was just an action. I wonder how many of you out there relate to that. Like, you know what I mean? You know exactly what I'm talking about. And then throughout all of my stories, I keep talking about how I just get these knowings and I can't say it's a voice. I like to say it's a voice, but it's not a voice. It's like all of a sudden I just get this knowing. This, like, just. I have to do something. I just know it. Call it intuition, but it's, like, deeper than that because my intuition guides me. This actually just, like, gives me a whole clear thing in one big failed fucking shot. Like, I just know. It's like it's in my head. It pops in. I know. And what I was shown, told, known was that my next level of spiritual awakening was going to come through my sexuality. And I knew it. And I was just like, oh. And I was scared because I didn't know what that meant. And I was already uncomfortable sexually. Like, I really wasn't even comfortable with men seeing me naked. Like, I would Because I knew they liked it, but I wasn't comfortable with my body and I wouldn't want them to like, look at me as I walked away with my jiggly ass and all that. Like, I was just so insecure still when it came to my body. Even though I'd stopped vomiting and I was learning to love myself, I still had insecurities with my body, but I covered it up really well. And then I was like, okay. It just kept coming and I couldn't shut it up and I couldn't. I couldn't look away any longer. And so I was like, okay. But this time I knew what I had to do. Like, I knew I had to fucking make love to myself, you know, like really make love to myself, like all the way. So finally, you know, took me probably a couple weeks. And then one night I was like, okay, fuck it, let's do this shit. Went and got the coconut. I went and have a big thing of coconut oil. Went and bought some toys at the sex shop. I got some wine, some weed. I was just like, let's see what we gon do tonight. Put my music on. And I just started with coconut oil. Just like, like actually touching my own skin. And then I started to get fascinated with how good it felt. I was like, oh my God, that's what my skin, that's what they feel when they touch me. Like, I'd never actually like, felt what it would feel like from another person touching me. I was like, oh my. I feel good. Like, that's yummy. I would want to touch that on someone. So I was just like enjoying starting to touch my body and that. It was awesome. Like, I really took my time. Hours, just learning what I liked, what felt good. It was heaven. And because I didn't have the space of a boyfriend, my work was still just traveling and teaching. So when I came home to Mexico, I had a lot of free time. And so that's what I did with all my time. And so that turned in. I learned really truly how to make myself feel good. And I was like, this is mind bending. I can't believe that I. Like, I've been having sex like that when I should be getting this. Like, I'm just like, ha ha, shit's gonna change. And then this next wave comes. And so I'm mastering it. I turned in, literally to a masturbation queen. Like, it was like my full time job the whole time I was in Mexico. Like, if I was there for like three weeks, boom. And it lasted about three or four Months where I was just like, every free moment I had, that's what I was doing. No, I would find any possible fucking thing I could to make me feel good. And then I started watching pornography because I was so anti pornography. I was so against everything and anything. And I mean, I judged it. And still, even when I became aware, I still judged pornography. I was just like, it's devast. It's bad. So I was like, well, listen, you have such a negative, but you never actually seen it. So let me take a look. And now let me tell you, there's some stuff out there that's twisted that will never come outta your mind. And that's what I think is dangerous. But there were some things that I saw that turned me on. And I was like, oh, how interesting. Like, when I was paying attention to my body, when I saw it, I was like, something I judged. I was like, no way. And when I saw it, I couldn't deny that my body was actually getting excited. And I was like, what the. It freaked me out. But it was awesome because I was just letting it happen. And with no judgment. I was like, oh, that's interesting because that's something I judge in other people. Like, I would be like, oh, my God, can you believe that person did like. Yeah. So anyways, I was a fiend. I was fucking faint masturbate all day. But man, mama was feeling good. And it was so awesome because in this time of giving myself so much pleasure and connecting to my body in a different way, and on another level, the creativity, the energy, like, I felt like a fucking superhero. I felt like it was electric, like. And I know that because now I understand the energy, the Kundalini energy, and the sexual energy that rises when it comes into your body. And, like, it's like full body orgasm, but on an energetic level, even beyond sexuality, like, in anyone that knows what I'm talking about, like, amazing stuff. And so this next wave of hits me of the knowingness that goes, okay, now that you have done this and you know what you want, and you know what you, like, now you need to practice with someone else. And I was like, oh, fuck, I have to do this with someone else. Oh, shit. And then that scared me and freaked me out. I was just like, oh, God damn it. Okay, like. Cause I had never asked for what I wanted. I didn't. Never spoke in bed. I never actually came out and said, do it like this. Touch me like this. This is what I want. This is what my body needs. I just took whatever they gave and that was sex. Like, you know, sometimes they were good. Most of the times they weren't okay. And so I was like, oh, fuck me. Okay, I'm ready. Like, let's see. Well, the worst they can say is no, right? They'll never say no, by the way. At least I haven't met anyone that would say no. Anyways. So knowing this, I'm like, all right, so I know something's coming. So a couple nights later, I'm out salsa dancing, which I did all the time in Playa as well. Like, if I wasn't dancing, I was playing with myself, do a little work, dance, play with myself. Like, that now became my day. Like I said, I was just was on cloud nine. So I'm out salsa dancing and this Mayan dude. All right, fierce ones, that's a wrap for today. Thanks for keeping it real and grooving with me. If you're loving this vibe, be sure to subscribe, share and leave a review so that we can keep this movement alive. Remember, this journey is all about you. You owning your own truth, trusting your instincts, and living boldly. Stay true, stay wild, and most importantly, keep being unapologetically you. So until next time, let's keep it real.