Your Personal Brand Will Be Obsolete by 2026 (Unless You Do This)

I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel like I'm just drowning in all this AI generated content. And everything I do is just the same as everybody else. And how do you stand out in that world? And one thing I'm really worried about right now is as we move and this gets even worse, the average creator is just going to get flushed out in all the noise. But here's the thing. There's actually something simple you can do about this, and this would allow your brand to stand out, and it would create a personal brand that I cannot mess with. This is what we're going to jump into with my good friend Chris do today. He is the world's expert on personal branding. And we're going to get into it right now. All right, Chris, everyone's worried about AI and is it going to replace or is it going to saturate the market with content? Right. How does the creator today create a personal brand that AI can't mess with?

That's a great question, Neil. Okay, let's address first the proliferation of AI generated content. And it's becoming easier for people to not even have ideas anymore for you to scrape other people's content and just steal it in a way, and then to rewrite it and then use a fake AI generated version of your own voice and with an AI version of your own video. So you're going to see the kind of content that's being produced today. If you thought it was crazy before, you're going to see it on levels we've not seen before, exponentially more content. So it's become. It's going to become really saturated. I think that's a real opportunity, actually, that the more people that are creating content, that are aware of content, means that we're going to be looking for higher quality content, that the initial wave of people creating content will be all consuming and we won't know the difference. But after, after the dust settles a little bit, I think we're gonna look for real people doing real things. And so, believe it or not, the nuance in the way that you speak, how you carry yourself, the little quirks and your tone of voice are going to make a big difference. And I think as much as I'm a proponent for AI generated things, I'm gonna caution people, especially if you wanna develop a really good personal brand, that the word person, that's you, that's me, is in the content itself. So this is very hard to replicate.

Yes. I mean, they could try. You could make an ad. Chris and Neil and you could have them, give them a conversation. Yeah, but you're right. I think there's certain things that are going to become a signal that this is a real piece of content. So you just mentioned, like, okay, all these people are going to be putting out more content. But here's what I notice, and I don't know if you, what your thoughts are on this. Like, if you are someone who has thoughts and ideas to share, the AI can help you. You just talked about. It helps you organize your thoughts. It can help you organize three days worth of content into a nice schedule. There's a lot of, like, leverage you can get there, but it takes like, somebody who is smart and it allows them to exponentially increase what they could do. So it makes you, like, on another level, but the guy who's giving kind of dumb inputs or just random, it just gets you to, like, average. It doesn't get you to, like, genius.

Yeah.

So it doesn't. It seems to not make you that much smarter. Is that true? Is, like, Is that your assessment?

Well, it depends on the baseline. So if you're really dumb, it'll make you look a lot smarter. Yeah, but AI in general is designed to kind of meet you in the middle. It's not going to have a strong attitude or opinion about anything. It, it, there's a, a way that it phrases everything. Like, remember, it's not like this. It's like this. There's telltale signs about how AI speaks and it's very organized. And this is good if you're disorganized. And so it can help you get to that baseline. But to tag on, what you're saying is, quality in equals quality out, crap in equals crap out. It's like saying, design me something cool. Well, if it's a really good designer in front of you, they can make you something cool. But it's better for us to be more specific, like, cool like this and with these parameters. And this is what I'm looking for, and to be able to kind of give feedback on what you see. The problem with a lot of people is they ask it to create things. And it they themselves do not know what's good writing or good video or good aesthetics and design. So when the machine gives you something back like, wonderful, job done. Let me check that off and let me put that out there. They don't realize it's pretty crappy. So AI can do lots of things for you, but you kind of have to think of it as probably the world's most powerful and most Intelligent intern. But you need to give it good direction and you need to give it good feedback to make it have something great. You and I had an example. You were working with someone generating AI video for you. And I saw it and it looked, it looked pretty good. And then I, I pointed out some things to you, like, what's the narrative arc here? Cause it looks like a bunch of random cinematic shots. There's no rising tension. And so after a while we look at the stuff and we, we're gon really bored. It should look, look, you're doing something, you're on your way somewhere. And each time we see a shot, it's adding to a larger narrative arc. And then you were able to give somebody direction and then they got you something much better than what they started out with. It's that kind of stuff.

Yeah. You think about the video we just created for our event, right? And we did like a trailer and it's. I, I think it's about 30, 40 seconds. So very small, short video, all created by AI, but like, the shots in the video were based on our conversation. So you're telling me, you know, you're walking through where you said something about Blade Runner 24 9. I was like, okay, I got you.

Yeah.

I'm walking through and there's like a, a dead slot machine over here and the city's been destroyed and it's post apocalyptic Vegas. So you're walking through. So then we're typing all that into the prompt and then you're even saying subtle, like super detailed things like your hand goes across the rail, then you walk in and you can hear the footsteps. And all this is coming from your idea. So it's like, I don't believe that AI would have given me the idea. It would have been a thought partner. I could have gone back and forth with it.

But. Right.

Those shots were based on your prompts.

Yeah.

Like someone's like, dude, I love this cinematic, like when your hand goes across. Well, I'm like, well, that's because Chris said that it didn't just like come out of AI, so it's, I think it's like, would we've been able to create that without your, your creative input?

You could have. It would have taken a lot longer.

Yeah.

And you may or may not get there, but I want to zoom back out even further because you and I are working on the strategy and the messaging and the platform in which you're coming from. It's like you're this anomaly in this world of me too. Everything like people are just trying to photocopy everything else. And so you're trying to do something different and you attract a very different kind of people towards you. I thought they were going to be boring in the box and they want to be out of the box. And you're the voice of that. You're the leader of the resistance. And so the narrative you and I were playing around with is you've come back from the future and it doesn't look good. Just like Rhys from the Terminator. He's like, oh, it's not working. John Connor sent me back to save humanity. We must protect Sarah Connor. Maybe your message is we have to come back to protect the future from a dull version of yourself because this is where it's all going. So we want to create this wasteland where everything's gone, set in the very near future and we can see that happening. So you, Neil Dhingra, after watching the video, you're like, I'm back, everybody, and this is what the future looks like. Let's go do something about it. And who's with me? We're talking about little signals to what's happening inside of each person. That's an emotional thing. I think AI can do this. It's just can't do it right now. So those little moments, those details signal something in our brain and we have an emotional reaction to. Yeah. And so otherwise you just get a lot of glossy visuals that don't do anything for us.

Yeah. The one version of the same video was just disconnected. It was just random shots. Didn't make any sense.

Yep.

So you talked about this personality and your nuance, like your mannerisms, maybe your jokes, your sense of humor or lack thereof, whatever that is being in the content. So I believe, and I think you agree, that your personality needs to be in your personal brand.

Yeah.

In 2025, it's like if you're not there, it's just random information on the Internet. It doesn't matter anymore. And I've noticed a big trend in the last probably 12 months where the viewers habits. I like people say the algorithm, but the algorithm is just viewing habits. That's what I think. It's like people aren't watching just straight informational content anymore. Like, if I were to say, here are three tips to do xyz, that video may have done okay a year or two ago. Today it's almost dead.

Yeah.

So people have changed their viewing habits and they don't. Like, is informational content really difficult to do? Is it dying or can you still provide information in a way where people will watch it.

You can still do it. I think the bar gets higher and higher because at first there's not a lot of competition. So you and your niche, you can do something very basic and get lots of reward for it and high engagement, follow comments, all that kind of stuff. And it could feel really good. And everybody's like, oh, the algorithm has changed. They haven't really. Just the competition's all catching up and so you need to be a couple of steps ahead. I've seen people do informational content and I love it. And they do things a little bit differently. It turns out you don't have to reinvent the wheel, but you just have to be like one factor different. And I'll show you what I mean. There was this person who was talking about debunking videos on the Internet and the way they do is through an overwhelming amount of information. And I love this. It's so like, first you're like, this is too much, and then you get it and it's a funny joke. So there's a. There's a giant swing in the back and the shoe flies off, hits the dude in the head and he's like, well, I found out where this location was based on the triangulation of this and this three images in the background. The physics and the circumference of this thing and the gravity force. And they're just going on and on non stop for like a minute. And I was just like, first I'm like, then I'm laughing and I'm really laughing. That is highly informational, but done in the very particular, over the top analytical way. And I love that kind of content. There's other people who do like handmade graphics and they'll say something like this thing that you're doing is just like this. But then they would move this over here. And the visuals of just moving things around like a shell game, overhead shot, doing this was enough for me. Like, yeah, that hooks my brain. I get that. That was very human, by the way.

Yeah.

Cut out pieces of paper, hand drawn graphics with somebody's hands moving around. Imperfect lighting. Not AI yet.

Yeah. And what's cool about that is it take something maybe complex, makes it relatable.

Yeah.

And so people, like, I think the best content is when the average viewer says, oh, I finally get it. Or I love the way Chris explained that. Like, I think that creates like level of trust with you and then also makes them want to learn the next thing from you too.

Yeah.

If you did it in a. In a way like that. So I recently did like stuff where I write notes on paper, but kind of just my normal handwriting. It's not the best handwriting, but like even that is a carousel post would get more reach than if I were to pop on and try and explain those concepts, you know, in a boring way. So mixing it up is one way. What's another? Like, I guess formula for reaching more people with your informational content. I know you talked about you wanting to switch up to doing interviews. Man on the street. Would you recommend that to the average person?

No, not to the average person. And I consider myself the average person. But if you make enough content, you start to look for new ways of expressing yourself. So if anybody's really early on in their content creation journey, I would just recommend like just put in the initial reps, do what you're supposed to do, do what feels natural, do what everyone else is doing for a while and then you hit the wall of like where that's going to take you and then you're going to iterate that. For example, if you learn to pay play the piano, you gotta learn scales first, I think, and just do scales and eventually you start to like have an ear and you understand for music and timing and then you start to invent songs. And I think that's a really natural progression. So depends on where each person. But if you're at your level, you're looking for something novel, something that's new, that's a little bit different, and just change one variable. For example, if you're always filming face on, change the camera looking down, change it some other way and just move the camera around so that it's a little different. I saw this clip, I think it was yesterday on Instagram and they said that I've been filming birthday videos all wrong, right? So usually it's filmed on the person and everybody's singing Happy Birthday to them. So you've seen the reaction. And then what she did was she just turned the camera around and she filmed everybody else singing Happy Birthday to her. That hit so different because in each person's face, grandma, the husband, the brother, the children, you just feel different. So we've all been filming birthday videos all wrong because cameras are always trained on the person receiving the wishes versus filming the other way, which is much more meaningful.

This is why reaction videos do so good.

It's this very. If you literally think about it, it's exactly the same. But we're just going to turn the camera around, right? So there's a guy, his name is Alan Peterson, does logo design work. And instead of doing what everyone does, which is to redesign the logo on a computer screen and doing screenshots, which is cool. Right. What he does is he goes through the time. Like, it takes a lot of time to like, cut things out and draw by hand. He manipulates things on paper in front of you. He tells a little story in his Minneapolis kind of or Minnesotan kind of accent. And he's just moving things around. And I was like, this is very refreshing. So for 80 to 90% of the video, you don't even see him at all. You just hear his heavy accent. Yeah, yeah. So think about, like, that one thing that you could do a little bit different and lean in on that. So I'm going to ask you right now, Neil, what are some of the weird things that you like to do that we could possibly incorporate into a video of yours?

So some things I enjoy, like, personally would be. And I've done this a little bit in Content is music.

Yeah.

So, you know, showing musical taste over, like voiceover or over. Just text on the screen with music instead of talking. So that's a mixing it up. The other thing that I've gotten really into is different ways of shooting the content. Like not just sitting camera in the office, but like using my phone. So I just showed you right before we shot started today's episode, like, hey, I shot this video outside with the iPhone talking to the camera, and it did better than if I would have shot it in the office.

Yeah.

So mixing those up. But like, yeah, I think music's one. I love skateboarding with my son. Like, there's all kinds of different things I could do, but I just don't know how would I incorporate those into my educational content where I'm teaching marketing or where I'm teaching finance.

Yeah. So there are a couple of the guys. One is Adrian Per and his. His Instagram is omg Adrian. Another guy, his name is Go. They're both relatively young. Their. Their work process is more akin to how you produce music videos. I wanted to share that with you in case it kind of like sparked an idea in your mind. I heard Gox being interviewed. He's like, I think he's Latin American. Right. He's Colombian. And so English is not his first language, but his content is in English. And so I was thinking, how's this kid be able to make such really, like, really cool videos that are highly engaging? So he's being interviewed on the stage and they're asking him, how do you. What's your process? Like, his process blew me away. Okay, here's how. What he does, he says, first, I have an idea. I write down the entire script, and then he goes and records the entire script. Okay. And then he edits the audio. So it's perfect. Now we all know that we're gonna do that. Here's what he does differently for each shot because it's all planned out. I'm gonna be here, the camera's gonna be here, all that kind of stuff. He plays back the audio and he mimes it back to camera like he's lip syncing his own voice. So if you. Whenever you watch his videos, like, how's this boy so smooth? What's he doing? But why does it feel a little bit off? This is literally how you make music videos, by the way. They record the track in the studio and they play it back sometimes at normal speed, sometimes they play at a different speed and they record that. So they're just lip syncing the performance and to worry about the vocals. They can just perform. And then he edits together. So it's a beautifully produced thing. I was thinking, man, that is really, really good. That's a way to work. Adrian Per is not that different. He thinks about what he's going to write, and he is musically inclined, so he thinks of the song first. Then he writes what he's going to say based on the beat that he's imagined. Wow. Yeah. So these guys are working a little bit different level. It is next level, but that's what it's going to take. So I just saw a clip on the Internet. It said something like he had almost no followers now. He had 700,000 followers in a little over a year's time. Yeah.

I've just seen people find their thing. And it could be years into their content journey, or it could be they just started.

Yeah.

And they find their. Their format like this. So, for example, there was a guy whose format is super, super, like weightlift buff dude. And he decided to film his morning routine where he dumps his face in ice and does things.

The original guy, Black guy, right?

Yeah, yeah. What's his name?

Black guy.

I've already forgotten his name. But no, no, Ashton Hall. Yeah. Ashton hall is this guy. So he found that format. Not just now, like he found it, I don't know, a year ago, two years ago, whatever. And he just stuck with it.

Yeah.

And there's just endless videos on this same format.

Yeah.

And then eventually they just started blowing.

Up yeah, it became a meme, right?

Yeah. And it took over the Internet. And I think now his, you know, brand's huge, with millions of followers on multiple platforms worldwide. Like, really cool. So that format changed his life, honestly. Maybe he wasn't the best creator, but he just tried something and stuck with it. So my question is, when you start a new format and we've all tried this, we never get to that point, or most people don't because we don't give it long enough because you don't see traction. So when do you know, like, I'm on the right track versus dude, I need to pivot, try something new. Because I see. I see people come up with this idea and I see their light, their eyes light up. But when they post the first six videos and it doesn't go viral, they're like, dude, maybe this isn't right. Maybe they're doing it wrong.

Well, let's ask ourselves a bigger question, is why are you doing what you're doing? Are you doing it because you want it to go viral, or you think that this is the way that you can deliver the content the best? There's a big difference there. So, you know those hawkers, I think they're called hawkers. They're on the street and they play music. Is that what they're called? No, they're not called hawkers. What the hell are they called? You know, in the uk, they have a term for them. They're out. Like, Ed Sheeran did this. He would just play on the street, you know, make a few bucks. Right. There's a term for them, whatever. I don't know the term. Forgive me.

Street performer.

Yeah, yeah, the street performer. And they did that not because they thought it was going to go viral, because they had no other option, no venue, no nothing to do. So they're gonna just do this to hone their craft. I think you need to look at content creation kind of like that. Like you're a street performer on the Internet. You're gonna do your thing and you need to believe in your thing, not because someone else told you to do it or because you saw something else trending. Find a format that works for you, and then what you do is you keep iterating on it. The thing that I find that's kind of disheartening for a lot of people is they try a format or they try something and it doesn't work, and they think the format doesn't work. There's two things. A, the format might not work for you. Perhaps you haven't figured out how to do that format just yet. It takes a while to figure this thing out. Point in context here. I think it's like two and a half years in into content creation before you actually have something that actually goes viral. Yeah. Two and a half years of creating content multiple times, like a week or whatever and just getting nothing and just putting up nothing. Mr. B is the most famous creator on YouTube. I think he created content for like over. Like, do you know the stats on this? Like the number of videos he made for followers? Ridiculously low.

Yeah.

Like he would make a video and you get two followers. And he did this for like years.

Yeah.

Until he figured it out. And so it takes that kind of commitment, that passion. Now fortune can favor you. The first five things you do can blow up and Good. The problem with that is you'll never know how to solve that. Once I think goes away, you get trapped in early success. So I. I like it when people struggle a little bit and they go through it and they find out what works and what doesn't. So they are learning something.

Yeah. I think it's crazy how some of the people who I've seen get that early success. Like they did something, they figured out some hack that worked in a moment and they just leveraged it.

Yeah.

And so good for them for being consistent and squeezing that opportunity. But then they don't know what to do next and there's not much substance behind them. So there's a guy in my group and he's a friend of mine and I love him and he's like, dude, I've been going viral with this new trend of this type of video and he did it and it works.

Yeah.

He developed hundreds of thousands of followers. How he's coming up with the videos though, is he's using a prompt that he learned from another creator and GPT and he's putting it together. The problem is when I talk to him straight up, like. Like, if you want to bring him up on stage, you want to put him on spot podcast. There's nothing there. Like, he doesn't really believe in the things he's not really talking from a place of like, he's really interested in this topic. It's more of like, I just did this to go viral so I could get followers.

Yeah.

And then what happens is, and you've seen this a lot too, is like, not all audiences are created equal. Not all followers are created equal.

Right.

Someone could have a good same size audience as you today, but it took them a year to get it because they leveraged one of these hacks. You've been doing this for a long time. Decades. Right. If you post up in LA that you want to do a meetup, you want to do an event, there's people that will come to meet you, there's people that will bring you some gifts, you know, there's all kinds of cool stuff. This dude could do the same and no one will show up. Yeah, like, nobody's bought into you and your message. You're not even in it, you know, like, you're not even passionate about it. So I think also about this guy who's got great following. I think it's called School of Hard Knocks. He interviews people on the street, but it's all about the other person.

Right.

And like, how'd you get rich? He's in the content and he's built a huge following, millions of followers. They also have a community where they help entrepreneurs. But, like, he himself, I don't know what the strength of his personal brand is because I don't even know what he thinks. He just is the guy who asks the question and hands over the mic.

Right?

So, like, if you're that person who's just trying to leverage this stuff, I just think you're not building a personal brand. You're just getting views and empty followers.

Yeah, there's a couple of dangers. Like the first example of somebody in your community who's using AI to generate the content. This is the problem. Too many people are using AI to do the thinking for them, and then they'll do the labor. So AI will tell you what to say, and then you just get on the camera and you say it. I think the rate that relationship is totally flipped, it should be you do the thinking and have the machine do the work. So when I meet you in person, it's just empty because you're not tethered to AI right now. You don't know what it knows. So you read the lines, but you've not learned the lines yourself. The biggest disappointment that anybody's going to ever have is finally you get to meet this person you've been following for so many years. And they're nothing like how they pretend to be online. And they know this. This is why they have a massive fear and anxiety around meeting real people, because they know they got nothing. There's no personality, there's no ideas, because you just haven't retained anything at all. I. I know this because my team will give me a script to read, I'll read it Like a monkey. I'll read it to camera. I'm done. Ten minutes later, ask me what I read, I won't even remember. I don't know.

I remember I sent you one of your videos and I was like, hey, is this AI? And you're like, no, I was just reading.

This is me being AI. Yeah, yeah, I'm just reading a script. That's all I'm doing.

But it was different than the Chris I know.

Yeah, because the Chris, you know, it's not so, not so controlled and not so concise with things. I need time to like, let the ideas breathe, to engage with people and to pull them in.

Yeah, that. So that's the antithesis of trying to do a 20 minute ad read.

Pretty much, yeah.

So I hope you're enjoying this video and I want to continue to put out the absolute best content that's going to help you move your business and brand forward. But I need your help. So many of you guys are watching this channel but you're not subscribed. And that's the number one thing that's going to help me grow. So if you haven't done so already, hit that subscribe button. Normally I'd have a fancy ad read and promote some product, but today all I want you to do is just subscribe to the channel. And now let's get back to the episode. Okay, so you talked about this as another way of getting your personal brand to stand out and really connect with people. And that's working with what you got. Okay, so like maybe there's a style you have. You even talked about like, it could be physical attributes, it could be you're funny. It could be whatever you got. Maybe like in the handwriting post you said, hey, if somebody has beautiful handwriting, you should leverage that. You should do this. So what is it like a hidden talent you need to find or does it.

It.

Could it be something simple? Like you.

We'll start simple first.

Okay.

Because people are. Talent. That's a dangerous word because I got.

A juggler in my group. He likes to juggle and teach.

Well, did you ever try out for the high school talent show?

Middle school?

You did?

Yeah.

Drums.

Drums.

Okay, so. So you had talent. If you ask me, I have no talent. So the word talent is scary for a lot of people because obviously not everyone in school is like, yeah, I'll go sing and break dance and juggle or something first just look at like what makes you different. It's quite as simple. So if we were to make a list of you versus Them. Let's start with them. What is their claim? What is their offer? What is their tone of voice? What is their promise? What is their philosophy? How do they look?

And then being your competitors, your competitor.

The nearest, closest person to you, and you get to define who that is. Okay, they're going to write everything down. And you just write it down. Like, they say this. They're bold, they're empathetic, They're. They're brash. They drop a lot of F bombs. Whatever it is, their tone of voice, every little thing, how they show up, like, what they dress, if they. If they dress in formal attire, like suits and ties, Just write all that stuff down. None of this bad. Now you have to ask yourself this question. This is the important question to ask. How am I different? Go down that list while my voice is the same. Find the one area that's different and put all your energies on that.

Yeah.

Okay. So how tall are you, by the way?

Five, nine.

Okay, I'm five, eight and a half. So I'm a little bit shorter than you. You're Indian, I'm Vietnamese. We're both people of color. Yes, people of color.

And that. Bro.

You cannot invalidate my existence. Technically, we're both people of color because we're not Asians.

We're Asians.

Yeah, we're Asians. Yeah. Okay. Do you ever bring your Asian culture into the things that you talk about? No.

Other than people know.

Right.

I don't. Just because I was born here and I just kind of came in American. But, yeah, that's another opportunity.

That's a real opportunity, one that I lean in on. Because whenever I go in front of an audience that's either white or Asian, I'm like, let me tell you how the Asian parenting style is. That might be different than what you're saying. And when I do, they're like, laughing at stitches because, like, what a shocker. So if I'm speaking to a non Asian audience, they're like, I can't believe this is how you all race. This miracle you're still alive.

So I could take like, the stereotype of Indians want their kids to be doctors or whatever.

Yeah. But you have to do something with that. Otherwise it's like, yeah, we've heard this before.

And I got into making videos on the Internet.

Yeah. Or something. Yeah, right. Vin Zhang does this really well. Cuz when he told his parents he wanted to be a magician, and he does his dad's voice. What the hell? You know? And then everybody who's ever had an Asian parent say that to him. Like, oh, I relate. I feel so seen right now. And so either you're, like, shedding light on a culture you don't understand, or you're reinforcing people who see you. Like, that's me. That's my childhood right now.

Yeah.

And I bet you if you were to revisit a bunch of things that your mom and dad did with you as a kid, it would create sometimes slightly painful moments for you that would so validate so many different people.

That's true.

Like, the story I tell sometimes, and my kids love this, is like, they always want to know how. How bad I had as a child. Like, my youngest is like, if there were popcorn, he'd just like, dad, tell me another one. I'm. I'm dying inside. He feels so funny. No, no, he feels deep empathy for me. Like, he feels so sad. But he sees dad as the guy who calls all their shots, does everything he wants. So to be able to see me in my vulnerable state where I had no power, it. It makes me human to him.

Okay.

Makes me super relatable. So I'll tell him the time, like, when there. There was David Clay and he invited me to his birthday and back when Star wars was big, you know, as a little kid, he's like, all I want is an action figure. That's all I want. Star wars action figure. It's like, seven bucks, right? Kenner Toys. So I tell my mom, can you buy me an action figure now? My mom immediately says, you can't go to that birthday party unless you bring your little brother. That's Asian thing number one. It's like, I don't even get along with my little brother. Why do I have to bring him? And my dad's like, if he don't go, you don't go. So I'm feeling bitter about this whole thing already, right? And so my mom gets me the gift. I'm like, what'd you get him? She got him, like, a race car. Like, mom, what part of, like, Star wars action figure don't you understand? It's like, he even asked for a specific one, not a rare one. Just get him there. So here I am showing him a birthday party with my brother. Awkward fudge. And it's like, giving this thing. And he's like, oh, cool. You know how kids have to, like, put on a smiley face? Like, that's not what I asked for. And I'm just feeling like, oh, I'm such a loser. Like, mom, please. But that's a Classic story with my mom always getting it wrong. Not on purpose, because she's a lovely woman, but just, like, she has, like, funny logic. Like, oh, race car is just as good as this. I asked for a certain laser gun. She gets me a different one. I'm like, that's the story of my childhood. When I tell that, that's uniquely me, that someone else is not going to be able to tell the way I tell it. That's the thing you might be missing in your life to bring your culture, your perspective. And it could be the exact opposite. You could say, like, you know, typical Asian parents do this. My parents were like this. Yeah. They were like hippies, and they believed in rock and roll, and they were doing LSD and it was, like, all totally different. And that's a zig.

So would you tie it to personal content or would you tie it to your. What you teach in business?

Whenever I can, I try and bring those personal stories in. Something that Drigo keeps reinforcing with me is whenever you tell a lesson, tell a personal story right afterwards. So, like, you need to do X, Y, and Z. And then I'll think, well, let me tell you, when this has happened to me, and it makes it so concrete. Like, this is not a person who read in a book. This is a person who's lived this thing. Now, you and I, I'm a little older than you, we have experience. We've done stuff. The kids, they just read stuff and they regurgitate stuff. So some. It's like the Kardashians are famous for being famous. They haven't done anything. We've done stuff. We've seen some wars, and I've seen a lot of them myself. Yeah. And so we can tell stories from that place. So look for anything that's different about you that's not, like, what your competitor is doing.

Yeah. So when you make this list, like, your experiences, things you've gone through, adversity you face.

Yes. Your culture, your birth order, your middle child, the oldest, the youngest.

Okay.

What your parents did for a living. They're both gynecologists. Okay. That shapes you a little bit.

Yeah.

We were both poor. We're very rich. We grew up in upstate New York. We grew up in Kansas City, Missouri. Some of that is going to impact you.

Yeah, I noticed that. I. When I talk about. I've done this a little bit where I talk about, hey, we weren't poor growing up, we're just middle class. But because we're immigrants, we just live, like, super cheap Meaning, like, no frugal spending. We didn't celebrate Christmas. Yeah, yeah. We go to dinner. We, me, my brother share a plate sometimes. Do not. You're not allowed to order soft drinks, like, any. Just anything to be cheap.

Yeah, just cheap.

Af.

Yeah.

Okay. So that's the upbringing.

Yes.

And then it's like, okay, that's not necessarily. That didn't really do me any favors, you know, like.

Or did it?

It may have. I don't know.

I think it has.

Well, I don't live like that now.

No. No. But. Okay, let's talk about that. Right?

Yeah.

So you're saying this is very typical. Super relatable, by the way.

Yeah.

How Asian parents are super frugal. Like, do not spend money on anything and lie about your age when you go to Disneyland and you feel super weird.

I was lying about my age for, like, three, four years. After the cutoff, we go Disneyland. I don't know what the cutoff is. I'm like 12. Lying. I'm saying I'm eight.

Right.

You know.

Right. So it's all those things, or. My uncle used to take me to drive in theater back when that was a thing we literally hit in the back with a blanket over us in the foot space so that we can get in. And my uncle paid for it. So it's like, it's not that big of a deal, but I always felt like a little bit of. Like a scoundrel. And so that creates a feeling and a memory in me that then I respond to. So your parents were always like, don't. Do not spend money. Do not spend money. And you're like, it didn't do me any favors, but actually did. Because you're a very different person today because of that experience. Everything that happens in your past helps to inform who you are. So I notice you, you're quite a generous person. Like, you don't have any problems spending money. Maybe to a fault. Like, you just got back from Disneyland. And I've been to Disneyland many times, but you're like, I just went to for the VIP pass. I'm like, how much is that? A couple grand. And how much is it?

5,000.

It's 5,000 bucks. Like, my Asian parents would, like, throw up right now. Right. Or like, how you had that one speaker who couldn't come because there was a conflict. You're like, well, what if I got you helicopter and picked you up and brought you in?

Yeah.

That's not that same frugal mindset. So that informs. Yeah. Because we either follow Those patterns or respond to it, we grow from it. And so if they hadn't been like that, you might be like that today.

Oh, I never thought about that.

Yeah. Everything that happens to you, it helps to inform who you are. You still make choices.

But, but it could be that you just stayed cheap.

It could be. And that's okay too.

Yeah.

That you were just really good with money. You know, the, the richest people on earth didn't get rich by spending money foolishly. That's why like, you know, you, you overcharged me for this one thing. Yeah. And they would talk about it for sure. Right.

Well, you could do both, you know.

Yeah.

So that's cool, isn't it?

Like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, they go to like a greasy spoon place and they sit there and eat and the two richest people in the world sort of can sit there and have like a really crappy meal, but that's what they want.

Yeah.

Or they'll take the bus or something.

It's like so the, yeah, this is crazy. So you can put all these things and talk like I, I, I would suggest in your case, like you, you said to write all these things out.

Yes.

And make the list. And this is going back to what I started. The episode is like, this is how you create a brand that AI can't mess with. Because how AI doesn't have all of these experiences. You're not just doing some canned content, you're telling your story, how it's helped, how it shaped you. And then the crazy part is anytime I share this thing about coming from a middle class family where we were super cheap, so many people relate to it. So like if I said, hey, you know, if you come from a middle class family in US your biggest first thing you need to do is change the way you think about money. Because I gave you some tactics on where to invest or what to do. But like if you don't switch your logic on this, none of that's going to matter. Change the programming. And that post from a money type of post does really well for me. Anytime I talk about this, it just tons of saves and shares and all this stuff. Because a lot of people have the same upbringing, of course. So this would work like, and then you, what about like talents?

Okay, so now we get to the harder level.

Yeah, the harder level. So I'll give you example. I, music, whatever for me. But there's people in my group who have sports as their talent. Maybe they're not super talented, but they love that particular sport, one being golf. Okay, so there was this gal in our group who you wouldn't. I guess I would think of golf as a. You know, both men and male and female play golf. But, like, I mostly see the men in the group pay golf.

Yeah. Stereotypically.

I wouldn't have thought of her as a really good golfer. Just stereotype maybe. I don't know.

Right.

And for whatever reason, so she's decided she's gonna make a video on the golf course and start talking about golf. All of a sudden, she was in a lull in terms of her engagement. That golf video propelled her. Got a bunch of more conversation and shares and stuff, and I'm like, hey, maybe we're onto something here. What if you started teaching senior lessons on the golf course? Is this the right way of thinking?

Yes, it is. So there's a couple things that she's doing really well. Number one, she's changing the environment. So we're looking for pattern interruptions. Right. So instead of doing talking head video, she's out on the green. It's a beautiful day, and I'm sure she dressed like a golfer. So there's a different attire that she's wearing. So immediately she's already different than most of her competitors, and it gives her something to do. If you're nervous about speaking, have something to do. So when we're doing talking head videos, there's nothing for us to do. Nothing.

Yeah.

So we're just stuck. So for her, she could be, like, putting the ball down on the green. She was picking the iron that she's going to hit with, and she could just be, like, throwing the grass. Look at the wind direction, that kind of stuff. I don't know golf that well, but. And she could just be ghosting her swing or putting or something, or digging herself out of a sand pit. So those things give her something to talk about and to move the camera around. Those things are automatically going to pull people in. Number two, she's activating this thing where, oh, I didn't know Susan played golf. That's interesting. Or I love golf. What the hell is she talking about? This will bring a new audience in. And, man, she's really good. She has a great swing. So we're. We're admiring her athleticism. Lot of really good things happening here.

Yeah. That's why I notice in the comments, people are like, hey, great swing. Yeah, I didn't know you played golf.

They. They'll make all kinds of comments or they'll say, hey, your swing sucks, and you should do this, you know, I put a little fitness video out, and everybody's like a gym bro all of a sudden telling me how to exercise. Like you. You do you. Cool. So those kinds of things are good. So let's. Let's break that down. Your hidden talent actually doesn't even need to be a talent. It could just be change the environment. So if you have a really cool studio, if you're overlooking the ocean, I would use as much of what you already have, your resources. And look at that. Like, if you're an outdoorsy person and you're like, in nature, why are you shooting inside? Makes no sense to me at all. Put on that flannel, go out into the wild and do your content out there. Like, we love to see that. We've seen a lot of cooking videos do really well, but the ones that go bananas are when they're out by the stream. Have you seen those videos? They're on a rock and they're cutting vegetables on a piece of wood and millions of views. Yes. Gazillion. Because that's so different. And they're making their own fire pit and just they're enjoying it. And then they feed their dog, which is the X factor, too. So they're like, leveling up on top of leveling up, because people love dogs too. And they're like, they're kind to the dog, and you never see the person talk. They just prepare food.

Is this like a surprise? Essentially, yes.

That's a pattern. Interruption. Okay. You zig when they zag. So it's called playing against type.

God.

I think we talked about this, right? Yeah. So Brad Pitt is expected to play certain kind of character. When he goes against that, we're shocked. Sometimes we don't accept it. But since there's a type, like you expect chefs to prepare food in the kitchen. Hygienic. The supplies are there. So you want. You want to imagine a beautiful, like, German countertop with great appliances, and then this person's doing out by the river. And when they're washing stuff in the stream, I'm thinking, is that safe to eat? And that kind of stuff is the stuff that keeps people watching.

This is crazy. When you said it, maybe it just clicked for me. So there's so many people within our content creator community who have leaned into this in different ways. Another example is somebody is really has a dry sense of humor, tells jokes. She was doing home tours of real estate. She's a real estate agent. She started to incorporate these jokes into the video. Meaning, like, this room is so big, it Would, you know, whatever. I can't repeat the jokes, but like some of them were just kind of funny. Like, okay, she's incorporating that into the tour. All of a sudden her home tour videos have gone completely next level viral. Yeah, same video. But like she just put jokes in it as she's walking through the house. So.

And then there's more inappropriate jokes.

Yeah, some of them like that. It could be just her weird sense of humor. I can't think of the jokes, but like that, that was in it. And then like the golf example or you know, there's people. I even like had people who were throwing like I did. I was talking to you about the juggling. Another guy throws frisbees while he's teaching. So I guess it's pattern interrupt. But it's also like, I wouldn't expect this from you. So you say playing against the type, when you make that list of the competition, the type is like for our industry is a certain stereotypical real estate stereotypical.

We know what it is.

We know those people. And you could.

Yeah. Semi spread collar. Yeah. White shirt, tie, probably simple tie, nothing too crazy. Perfectly comb hair, clean shaven and probably fit.

Yeah.

Right.

Is it like the number of things that you have against type is all just like increasing your likelihood of reaching more people or. You just need one thing.

You just need one thing.

Okay.

You don't want to be a clown, so you just pick one thing and go in on that. The thing that you're strongest at that you feel joy doing. You might even feel like, man, if somebody gave me permission to do it, I would have done it this way and just do it that way.

Got it.

I think that's where it's going to be really cool. And you can also play two type. You just got to go extreme.

Yeah.

So be whatever you want. Just don't be boring, don't be bland, don't be a photocopy of everyone else. Because if you are, why would I look at you.

So this is something that is kind of a touchy subject for people. They don't want to show success. Okay. So I've noticed when I share things and we're doing things where it's, I'm not trying to say I'm successful, wealthy, rich, whatever, but it just happens to be in the content. And so I'm trying to like not be like so obvious, but like if we're in a nice place, it's just a nice, you know, you're like, hey, we're, we're on vacation here. We're staying here. And then the background is epic. But I didn't say, hey, guys, check out how rich I am. You know, whatever. So.

Yeah, it'd be annoying.

Yeah, it would be super. I think it would just be off putting. Okay, so, like, if you're cooking, I was telling you about a creator who I saw on Instagram, and she's really good at teaching personal brand, but she's cooking in the content. And then you told me one of the coolest parts about our content is how nice her kitchen is.

Yeah.

And so. But I never thought of it, like, oh, she's trying to show off her kitchen. I just thought, like, okay, this is just engaging me. Like, this is super. Like, it looked like almost, like, cinematic the way, like, it was like a scene from a movie, her kitchen. But it's not showing off. So, like, what's that line where some people, when they do this, I cringe and I'm like, bro, we all know you're trying to show us that you draw. You're driving a Mercedes G Wagon. We got you, like. And then the other guy just happens to be in a G Wagon, and I like him. What's the. What's the line you're crossing?

This is a complicated one. Let's unpack it. Okay. It's hard to know, but there's this word called intent, and we can see intent through action. Okay. Okay, so let's break it down. The woman with their kitchen. I told you, it's very cinematic. Somebody has labored over this shot. They've planned it super shallow. Depth of field. Everything's in its place. There's the right amount of garnish to silverware or whatever it is. It's perfectly lit. And so let's just talk about one thing. Aesthetics do matter. We care that some human put a lot of time and energy into making something, and we can appreciate it even if we're not an aesthetic aesthete or not. I forget that person. Yeah. There's the word for it. Like that they're really into aesthetics, right?

Yeah.

We don't have to be a snob, but we can appreciate there's a plant and there's a mixture of materials like this. This teak versus this cold. What is a cold rolled steel? And those materials are pleasant to us. And the people who are set designers know this, and they do this. So if you don't have that kind of aesthetic and you don't have a friend or a cousin or someone that you're married to that it's an interior designer. Hire someone come in there and just design it. We. We know that there's this thing called noling. Do you know what noling is?

No.

Noling is this. I thought it was a made up word. Maybe it was at one point is when you arrange objects together and you lay it like a flat lay and you shoot it from top. And it's very organized the way it's laid out. Like three pencils, one paper clip, a little post it note. When we see that, it's like. And maybe even if you're not technically ocd, that we see that, we're like, oh, it's good. Like asmr. Knowing visual aesthetic symmetry. Wes Anderson has built an entire film career with filming with symmetry and extreme aesthetics. Right. The color palette and everything that Wes does. And you look at it like, it's just so good. It makes my. My creative soul happy. That's what she's doing now. The intention behind showing this, I don't think is about showing off, like how good her kitchen is. It's just how much do I care that every shot look the right way. Now let's take the G wagon, for example. Now we have to tap into this idea of like having an inferiority complex, which is, I don't like my life. I wish I had a different life. And they behave a certain way. Then there's a superiority complex which is like, I'm not super secure about who I am, so I need to demonstrate to you how wealthy I am. The great life they have, how beautiful everything is, and they're doing it because of that. And believe it or not, most people have the sense to tell. The only people who are blind to this are young, testosterone driven men who cannot see through any of this at all. They see the markers and the signals and they're like, yes, successful, great. Let me follow that person. Oh, banging a lot of chicks, whatever it is, like, boom, model girlfriends. I want that life because young men are stupid. So just put it out.

It works on dumb people.

Yeah. And unfortunately, they're the easiest to manipulate. And that's who you're going to manipulate into this thing. I don't want to name who does this, but there's lots of people who do this that are quote, unquote influencers. So when someone has great taste, they bought the G Wagon not because that's a signal for success, but because they like this design that hasn't changed in the last 40 years. They like the brutalist design, the sharp angles, this kind of Austrian sensibility in the Way that the door closes, and that's just who they are.

It's like a tank.

It's like a tank.

Yeah.

The doors open a certain way, and then they just come out and they want to tell you a story, and they're not drawing careful attention to it. Versus, like, oh, this is one of 17 cars I own. Then, you know, the intention behind it. Or I love this car so much because of these five reasons. It's not what you think. It's because of this, this, this, and that. And, you know, now the trapping that a lot of people fall in when they achieve wealth. And I'll say this right now, I know shots are fired. They have no taste. Drink. And I will talk about this all the time. You can be rich, but you have no fricking taste or style at all. And so what almost all rich men do, they buy a fancy car like a Ferrari or a Lambo. They buy a Rolex of some kind because that's what everyone does. Not because they even know why it's good. They just do it because. Cause you can see everything else about them is pretty trash. They just buy what everyone else buys. So that's how you know the intent is there.

Yeah. I think I wasn't necessarily someone had the best taste, but I'll ask my wife or ask my friends, you know, Like, I remember just the other day, I text you pair of shoes. I saw the win, and I was like, hey, what do you think about these? You like? No, It's a hard pass, but it's hard. Like, you know, I think it's like people might be listening or watching and be like, well, I don't have that taste, you know, But I like. Like, my house looks good. Not because of me. It's because my wife.

Right.

So when we shoot a video there, it's going to look good, and people can tell, like, hey, you put some thought into how you're.

Somebody did.

Yeah, somebody. It doesn't necessarily have to be me.

Right.

Like, we could have hired a designer.

You could have.

And that just means that I value the way things look.

Yeah.

And the other people do, too. Like, we built a bar in the house. And I was like, hey, guys, I'm proud of Whitney for setting this up. Like, she got the car, she had a vision. She communicated that. And they built it.

Yeah.

And they came in under budget. Like, really Cool.

Cool.

So that's like, I just show it.

Right.

And then all these people were messaging me saying, dude, love it. Like, I would want to do the same thing. Inspired, like, they just like the look of it.

Cool.

I don't know. I didn't get any negative comments or hate, but like, I don't know if somebody's thinking, well, Neil's just trying to show off how rich he is. I don't think so. But I didn't get any of those comments. And if I did, I mean. So anyways, I'm just thinking you'll catch some of those.

You catch a few strays.

Even if your intentions are good, you'll still catch some, some heat a little bit. But I think it's worth the upside. Meaning, like, people will get to know you. They'll know like what you, what you like, what you don't like, and then they will value you more. Like, I, I always say this. People treat me better because my content looks better. I would love to lie and say, like, it doesn't matter if you have smudge off your lens. And I don't like. I shot a video at, at the theme park the other day, but I wiped the lens first. I looked for light where it was a little bit softer. Cause it was super sunny and it was harsh light and it looked, it was just blowing our face out. So I went under a tree a little bit and then I held the phone in an angle where it would show us correctly. And I thought about how far I am from the microphone.

Yeah.

So although it looks like, hey, just shot this thing on the fly, easy. I was thinking about those things before I shot the video. So. But I, I think people treat you better because of this. And so I think it matters.

Well, back to intentionality. That we can respect that you put some time and energy into it. I didn't look at that and say, oh, Neil just whipped that out and just shock.

But the average person might, they might.

Think that, but they're just really uninformed. But the, the thing is that they don't realize. The thing they cannot articulate is there's an appreciation for it. We know, okay, for example, you go to a fast casual restaurant, the plating is the plating. You go to a five star restaurant, the plating is not the plating. There's like balsamic drizzled in a certain way. And everything is. It's like a painting that you eat. And we might not know anything, right? You don't know anything about how it's prepared or art or symmetry or aesthetics or contrast. And. But what does everybody do? Let me, let me shoot this right now. Why is that? The instinct. Because, you know, even if you don't think, you know. So I know when I saw that shot, dappled lighting filter through the trees under a canopy of trees. So it's much softer lighting versus the harsh lighting. You're going to get out on a sunshiny day in. In Disneyland. Yeah, I can see that. The. You got a good exposure across the board. Good contrast, good highs and lows. Nothing's blown out. Nothing's too dark. And the quality of the audio is really good. I was looking for your microphone because I'm like, where is he hiding the mic? Because the audio is very good, and so I can appreciate that. But you don't have to be a guy who makes commercials to. To recognize that you can hear it, you can feel it, even if your brain can't articulate it.

Yeah. And the. I guess the lesson is for anybody thinking about this is those things I didn't know a few years ago. So you can learn this. You can be intentional. And like, the video I would have made three years ago at Disneyland would not be the same video I would make today, because I've done a bunch of trial and error, and I saw what I liked and what I didn't like, and I learned from other people, honestly, just watching.

And you've shared those videos before. Like, here's my first video. Here's my first 50th video, or whatever it is, and it's a piece of crap. Look at. Look. I don't even know what I'm saying right now. I'm stuttering and stammering my way through it. It's a bunch of, like, word salad going on, and I'm not saying anything. We all go through that process.

I'll share one more example of this before we move to the next thing to wrap up. But there was a guy in our group who has meticulously cared for his yard. Okay. The lawn is, like, the perfect length.

Yeah.

I don't know anything about landscaping, but I just know this dude's yard looks great. Like, it just the. The way the plants are. And then the cool part is, even in the evening, the lights come up from certain plants, and it looks just really cool. And I've seen it in his videos. I'm like, man, this is really dope. You should do more. You should show us more of this and how you guys even became obsessed with the lawn. He's like, dude, on our free time, my wife and I, we obsess over the landscaping.

Yeah.

And I'm like, man, you should put that in the content. And I think what would happen is. Is my assessment correct, that what would happen is other people who are obsessed or love that aesthetic, some people are going to just like it because they're just, like you said.

Who doesn't like a perfect line?

Yeah, it looks cool.

Looks fake, right? Because it's so good.

It's so good. It looks fake. But on the other side, there's people who are sharing that same obsession with. What is it horticulture or.

Yeah, horticulture.

Yeah. You will find your people because of, like, you sharing this. So he was telling me he didn't want to show off, and I'm like, bro, if you would just talk about the thing you're passionate about, you would. Like, the one thing you're hiding is literally the thing that would connect you with the most people. This might be the unlock for you creating the brand that we're talking about today. But you're scared to shake because you don't want to show off.

Okay, showing off and humility and all that kind of stuff. Let's just talk about, like, if you do this when no cameras around and no social media exists and this is what you love to do. That is you.

Yeah.

The problem is we're so busy trying to fit into the norm of what everyone else is doing, we're unintentionally or intentionally trying to blend in and be unknown, basically. So I don't worry about that. If this is how you express yourself, these are your passions, your hobbies, your interests, you owe it to yourself to be able to celebrate and share this, because otherwise you're hiding parts of you. You're killing parts of you. Yeah, I. I am a big champion for the integrated self versus the fractured self. So if you show up on social as a certain person and then in meetings, you're another person in front of your family and friends, and it's like, how do you keep track of who you're going to be? So as much as possible, collapse all those things into, like, one existence and do your thing. Don't worry about what people say.

Yeah.

And you're trying, believe it or not, like, what they're asking you is, neil, how do I stand up by being like everyone else? What? Why does that even work? Well, no one is doing that. That's why you should be doing it. Not because you're trying to say, f you, I'm so much better than you, but because that's who you are. Celebrate that. If you like drinking wine, talk about it. Yeah.

So hopefully somebody gets this and just Says that I got that thing that I never talk about on social. You should, you know, like, you should think about. And maybe you have to start small, like, just in the shallow water. Just, you know, get in there. You don't have to jump in the deep end like me, but you could just start doing it, and I'll. I think you'll find that you'll get more comfortable sharing more things. You'll share a little bit, and then you'll share a little bit more. I used to never want to share anything about personal things. And then as soon as I started doing a little bit, you kind of warm up to it. It gets a little bit easier each time you do it.

Right.

So the last part about this is one of the things that's really helped me build a personal brand that connects with people and stands out is sharing failures, being vulnerable. Now, some people said, as a man, it makes you soft. Like, I even had people say, hey, dude, there was a rumor going around that I was gay. You know, I'm like, that's not a rumor. Yeah, whatever. I don't care. I have gay friends. I don't care. Like, it's not an insult, whatever. But to me, I was like, what are you trying to say? You know, that you're soft? I mean, that's what the guy. The guy macho guy is trying to say.

Yeah.

By sharing things, I don't think it makes you soft, by the way, to share, like, how you feel about something or something you struggled with. But I have noticed when I tell people to be vulnerable and share things like this, there's people who do it almost in a way where you're looking for sympathy.

Yeah. And they.

Or they overshare. So I was like, wait a second. I didn't mean like that. And then I have to, like, pull it back a little bit. So I might say, hey, one of the things I struggle with, I have add. And I've had this since I got diagnosed when I was, like, 20 years old, and I struggled. Older school, terrible student because it was undiagnosed. And then I finally changed my life afterwards. And then there's other people who have the same struggle, and they talk about it. Now somebody else will talk about their mental illness or something, and then they'll talk about, you know, maybe they had depression and suicide, and it almost goes too much. And then I'm like, oh, wait a second. This is making me feel really weird now. Or awkward.

Right. Okay, let's talk about a couple of things here. Number one, we'll Start on the last thing that you said, which is you have to be careful, because not everyone's worked through their traumas. And if you say things, you have to be a little bit more responsible for it, because if you trigger someone's traumatic, like, usually around sexual violence, abuse, those kinds of things, it's. It's kind of recalling all these emotions that they can't process. That's why you're like, that's an overshare, and there's a line. And we know what that line is. I think when it comes to certain kinds of horrific mental, verbal, physical abuse, you kind of have to steer away from that. We have to warn people and say, like, I'm gonna share some stories. It might not be appropriate for you, especially if you're triggered by these kinds of things. I'll give you a minute to. To leave, and then I'm gonna talk about it. So you can do that. Right? It's like a spoiler warning. Like, I'm gonna talk about Game of Thrones. So if you haven't seen it, please, now's a good time to exit.

A good hook, too, because if you said, don't watch this if you're. This.

I'm not thinking like that. Yes. But I'm trying to have a genuine human emotional connection. You're like, hey, good hook. Let's. Let's hack.

No, no, I know, but you know what I mean? Like, you could dismiss people.

All right, so that's the first part.

Yeah.

Number two is like the. The pity. I just say the pity porn. Like, woe is me. How sorry do you all feel for me? And after a while, that will just be. It'll wear you down because it comes from a very needy place to be validated because of insecurity, inferiority. And they're just living in a place that narrative, like, oh, my life sucks. You know, feel bad for me. And they like to feel that way. They feel they want to be the perpetual victim. And we're. We're looking to relate to people, but at the same time, like, I. I need to manage my energy for me. Not all about you. It's not always about propping you up. Yeah. Okay. We know people like this people in our real life that are so needy, their emotional needs cannot be filled. It's like a giant black hole. And eventually, you have no. No time for you. Every time you talk, it's 99 about what they're going through and, like, 1% about you, and only in passing. So let's get back to this Whole why Neil's gay. That'll be the beginning of this episode. Okay. If you reveal something that's vulnerable, we have a stereotype of how a man should be a man's man. You know, like, you're gonna cut lumber with your bare hands and you're gonna rip things with your teeth. It's like, that is an old model of men that is really outdated right now. And you could even call, like, borderline toxic masculinity. About how you can't show vulnerability, how you can't bend down on your knee and then pick up a small child and said, you know, I love you, I'm proud of you. You can't say those things. And that's created a lot of really bad relationships. Generational trauma. I'd like to be able to change that. And if somebody's not comfortable with that, that's their own demons. Has got nothing to do with me. I know. Share with you. There's a comedian, he's Filipino, and his name is Jada Guzman. You know Jada Guzman?

No, I haven't heard.

He has a guitar and he sings, right? So he's doing stand up and he's playing his guitar. And he turns to somebody, to us, right? And says, are you gay? Can I ask you, are you gay? And the guy sits back. We can't see the guy. He's like, a little bit. And he's like, I didn't know you could be a little bit gay, you know, I didn't know that was an option. So he's like, are you like Lysol? 99.9% kills germs, but just gay. And he goes, no, really, Are. Are you. How are you a little bit gay? He goes, no, I'm fully gay. It just answered a question. That funny, right? Yeah. And then he. He. He pauses for a bit, and he turns to his laugh, and he's like, sir, excuse me, are you. And the guy's like, no. He says, he answered that question so fast, like, I couldn't even get the question done. He's playing his guitar. He's like, you know what that means? You're a little bit gay because you answered it so fast. So the problem, the point I'm trying to make with this story, is that I think people are insecure about who they are. And, you know, I don't know if this is true, but I believe it to be true. The people with the largest, like, homophobic tendencies, they're repressing something inside themselves and they're projecting it onto you. I Think they are that 1% gay. Yeah. And like, I'm comfortable in my sexuality and my orientation. I don't care which way I swing. It doesn't really matter to me. And I leave plenty of space for you to do you. I'm not here to judge you. I don't really care. And I. I think it's. It's actually very manly for you to be in touch with your emotions and to be talking about things that just 10 years ago would be like, really weird for a man to say. So if they want to think you're a little bit gay, I think it's more that they have to look in the mirror. Yeah. That's all it is.

Yeah. Most overwhelmingly, it's like you get good response, but there's always one or two negative things, which is a weird thing how I made a post the other day of showing how my. My journey in creating content or. Or teaching content. And I used and I showed the pictures of me teaching and it sucked. And there was nobody there. And I just kept doing it in all these classes with. With my people in my industry. And the beginning pictures are me in a collared shirt with no hat.

Yeah.

And so there's all this thing like.

Hey, dude, you're going Dexter years.

Yeah. I'm like, they're like, so glad you stuck with it. Love your journey. You've inspired me. All great comments. But there's one comment and it says, now I see why you wear a hat. You know, And I just remember that one comment. So it's weird how. And I don't think anything wrong with my hair or whatever, but. No, it's weird how you just remember these one or two haters. Out of all the sea of positivity and like all the upside you have. I don't know what it is about your mind. And so I admitting this right now, like, I always remember the negative feedback.

Yeah.

So it maybe just sticks with you more. I don't know. But it's. It's. I don't care about it. I'm not going to not post it because of that. But it just. It does happen.

Yeah. You have nice thick hair, right?

Yeah.

I bet you style a little bit.

You.

You'd like be a little thirst trap maybe, man. Yeah. I can help you with that styling of your hair.

I might need your help, bro.

I can do it. And then in your dms, you have to watch out.

Okay. So this is the thing. Don't tell. Yeah.

Don't tell my body.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So when you talk about doing all this work. You just did a personal brand workshop for five days, three days plus two days more in Singapore.

Yep.

And you did it with this group of people and you take them through this whole process. Would you ever consider doing this here in the US with people?

Yeah. You know what I realized too, and I was just sharing with a friend of mine, I really light up when I'm teaching, but I also get really dark when I'm teaching people who can't be taught. I get really frustrated. I'm like, hey, you guys are fighting me. Like why don't you save your money and go home? That's a problem. And so this group in Singapore, I didn't realize this till much later that the ones that consistently had those light bulb moments and the things that I was saying, they're all part of the VIP group and they paid the most amount of money to be there. And so they're in there for the full six day experience. They added an extra day just for them. And I love teaching people who, when I share an idea that I know what to do with this, this is going to change my life. And they're having those transformative moments because as a teacher, I'm not here to talk. I'm here to see you move from where you are to where you'd like to be. Maybe not totally get there, but at least move in that direction. And I've had workshops before where I'm like, what is wrong with me? Like what is wrong? Like I'm not teaching you today. Like I don't know what's wrong. And it's just I think I have to attract the right kinds of people. So my lesson from that is I need to charge a certain amount of money where people who can hear big ideas and they're close to it themselves can see it. Because one person in the workshop kept saying, that's a hundred thousand dollar idea. That's a million dollar idea right there. What are you guys doing with this? And she's just writing down furiously. I'm like, that person knows what good ideas are. I'm the person who's trying to help people have good ideas. So I'd like to do a multi day workshop here in the States somewhere at some point.

Yeah. For the people who are doers.

For the doers. For the people who are like, you know what? Like, you know, when you go to a mastermind, they only let certain people in because they've achieved certain things. They're beyond like the survival state they're into. The next phase of their life. And I think that's who I need to serve. Not the 20 to 30 year olds because they're still struggling.

Yeah. And I noticed when those people in our group. Because you've spoke to our group many times, when those people, the doers, ask you questions, you'll go forever.

I'll go forever. It's usually your mastermind group.

Yeah.

The highest paid people too. Yeah. Right.

But to your own detriment. Like, you'd be like, I'll be like, hey, let's go get dinner or drink. And you're like, I can't. I'm done, bro. I've spent my whole. I spent everything. You left it all.

I left it on the mat. Yeah.

And so. But that's an indication that's where you need to be.

I think so.

Yeah.

I love to teach, Neil. I just need to make money doing it, but I love to teach.

Yeah. There's people who I've just. In my personal experience, obviously I'm a. We're friends, but I'm a client as well.

Yep.

And there's things you've taught me just on a quick call and I'm speaking tomorrow.

Yeah.

And I'm like, hey, Chris, what do you think about this? You like, dude, tweak this and put this here. And I'm like, oh my God. I think of that and my talk the next day is that much better. And we do that much more sales. Like, so that's immediate impact because I'm doing the thing. So it's really like, I just feel like those are the people I love working with. And you just said the same thing. Like, when you give that advice, it can be a hundred thousand dollar idea. Literally. Not no joke. I'm not like, we're not exaggerating here. Like, this is the impact you have on people.

Well, I'd like to work with more. Neil's.

Yeah.

People who have things going on. People who are ambitious, driven, know the value of money, aren't scared about spending it, and can quickly apply. You know, this is not a mutual. What is it called? Circle jerk. What's a nice term to say circle jerk? There's no, there's a, there's a term.

We already accuse each other of being gay.

You can say, no, I just accused you. I didn't hear coming shots back at me.

You're gay now because you said circle jerk.

Yeah. No, that's the only dro. What is the nice way to say circle jerk? Somebody told me this. I need to know. Non.

There's Literally no nice way.

There is. There is a way. Somebody told me this.

Stroke it.

Stroke.

Circle jerk ego stroke. Yeah.

Save us, Dreo. Come on. Be Dave Kagi for me. Right now.

He's looking for it on AI Internet connection.

Who here knows the non. No, no. The non sexual, nonviolent way to say is like, we're not jerking each other off right now, right? We're not doing the Human Centipede. Somebody help me out. I'm just getting more violent right now.

Yeah?

Nothing. Okay. It gets worse. You guys are searching. You have bad search history. Let me just tell you. I'm gonna give you your flowers here because I notice you have an uncanny ability to apply. Like, you don't need all the steps. You just. What's the big idea, bro? I tell it to you, like, would it be like this or this and that's enough. And then you go, I like working with people like that. Because some people are like, here's the big idea. Then like, well, what are the. Step by step. But why would that work, Chris? And tell me four reasons why. Well, this is not gonna work for me. Like, you know what? I have finite energy. I don't want to give it to someone who's resistant to learning. And so I'm really thrilled. Like, sometimes you'll call me random, Sunday at 3pm we'll talk. You're like, I got this thing. Cool. How about you did it this way? And you're like, dude, dude, that's great. I'm gonna go do that. Then I'll call you literally on Monday. And like, how'd it go? You're like, oh, my God, it worked like this. What else? Right? And so that's what I live for as a person who sees himself as. Mostly as a teacher.

Yeah, I love that.

Yeah.

It's like there's people, the people we're talking about here. And it's. It's not talking about them, but it's just. There are some people who see how everything can go wrong. They see, like, maybe not, like, super negative, but they're just like, a little cynical. And they're like, well, I would need this to do this. I'm like, no, you don't. You could just do this. Like, it's like that dumb meme or it's like, did you know you could just do things?

You know?

Like, you can. You could just do.

What if I told you you could. Yeah.

What if I told you you could just throw an event or do a webinar or do that?

Right?

Some people, like, well, what if nobody shows up? What if this happens? What if I'm like, well, these are the things you do to mitigate that. And then they still won't do it because of that. So I just learned early, like, that failing is not that difficult.

I mean.

I mean, it's not that bad. Like, nothing bad happens to you if you fail. If you did a. Like, we've all done a talk where it wasn't our best talk. Dude, you didn't die after. Maybe you felt a little bad, and you watch the replay and it gives you a little cringe, but then that's how the next one gets better. So you can't get the banger without the flop. That's all I'm saying.

Yeah.

So if people want to learn about when you eventually do something like this, because I would. I think it's going to be awesome. I think this could be, like, your next thing here, what you just did overseas.

Yeah.

They should just follow you on Instagram.

Yeah, follow me on Instagram. That's the easiest way at the Chris Doe. And just.

Do you ever look at your DMs?

I. I'm the only person who looks at my DMs.

All right, so if you. If you're watching this episode and this helped you in any way, obviously leave a comment below on YouTube. Let us know what are the things you want if you. Hey, let me know if you want Chris back on the. On the podcast. And then also, what are the things we should go deeper on? Would love to take your feedback and do it in the next episode. And then also send Chris a DM on Instagram to let him know you saw this.

Yeah, I know what they're going to want more of. Neosexual proclivities. Yeah, I'm sure you're deviant.

All right, thanks.

Can you tell me you're a deviant?

No, bro.

Yes, you told me you're a deviant. Oh, you're degenerate.

Oh, degenerate. Yeah. Well, that's gambling. That's not sexual.

Well, it depends.

Yeah, I guess.

Right. Popular culture would describe homosexuality as degenerate.

That's true, but I was talking in the context of blackjack, so.

Is that what you call it in the circle? That's the end of the episode, guys.

Thanks for being here, man.

Thank you.