8 Things People Learn Late In Life

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean, where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready, friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean.

Hello, my friends, and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. This is your host, Pamela Jean. I'm so happy to have you here. The whole goal of my podcast series is to help you create a balanced life and a balanced business. Now, if you don't have a business, that's okay. You are still included in this insert. Career, balance, life, balance, career. It all works together. So I hope through this whole series of podcasts that I produce for you, that you are on your way to living the life that you've always dreamed you've had, the life that you deserve. And you create balance in your life and balance in your business. Can you believe that we have kicked off the month of August? I don't know about you, but time just keeps. It goes so fast. I feel like sometimes the days are really, really long, the months are long, but then all of a sudden the years are short. That's how I'm feeling today. We're closer to Christmas. We aren't. We're halfway through past halfway through the year. And it seems like once fall hits, everything just goes downhill from there. Goes by so quickly. If you're parents, you are in the middle of getting your kiddos back to elementary school, starting high school, moving a kiddo off to college. It's so much is happening right now. But once that time of year hits, the rest of the year you blink and you're celebrating Thanksgiving and then another blink and you're into Christmas. So we are August 23, 2023 began this week and it's also my birthday month, if you didn't know that. I will be celebrating my Sammy Hagar birthday on the 24th. Turning 55. I can remember not that long ago, I thought 55 was so old. And now that's where I'm at. And that's okay. Friends, I have to tell you, the number doesn't bother me, the age doesn't bother me. I just feel so incredibly grateful that I have my health. I've been working on my health and wellness for many, many, many years. And I feel so good at 55. I feel just as good at 35, if not better. I'm probably more healthy today than I ever have been in my whole life. So I feel grateful for that. So if you are an August birthday. Cheers to you and I for celebrating our birthday months Together. I wanted to share some thoughts with you on life, time and priorities as we kick off this month. You know, celebrating a birthday just kind of, you know, ties some things together. When you start thinking about, you know, another year around the sun, just all the changes that has happened since my last birthday. I just wanted to talk a little bit today about eight things. Eight things that oftentimes we learn way too late in life. But I wanted to share those with you today. Number one, time is precious. The most valuable commodity that we have is time. Time is the one thing you can't get back. There are no do overs with time. Once the time has passed, it's over, it's past, it's gone. You cannot step back and push the rewind button and get your time back. So, friends, spend it wisely. Cherish the moments that you do have and resist the temptation to obsess about the moments that you don't have. I think sometimes we get so stuck in a place in our life where you think about all the things that you don't have or you wish you had, or you want to have, but you gloss over what you do have. What do you have in your life that is underappreciated today? What do you need to take a step back from and lean into what you do have and stop obsessing about what you don't have? Number two is health is wealth. Without good health, nothing else matters. There's nothing more true than this statement to me. Friends, you must prioritize your physical and mental well being and start at an early age. Start today, meet yourself exactly where you are and start taking charge of your physical health and caring for your mental health. It's not about getting skinny, it's about getting healthy. I think women have a hard time with body image and loving their bodies exactly the way they are. If you've been on a diet plan over the years, you know exactly what I'm talking about. You're committed to this diet plan. You invest in all the things, you buy the gym membership, you buy all the supplements, you do the cleanse, you do the things. And maybe after four weeks or so, you've lost some weight and you're feeling pretty good about yourself. But then, bam, out of nowhere, you fall off that wagon and you lose the motivation for the diet that you invested so much money in. And within another four weeks, you've gained back everything you lost and perhaps even gained back more. So many people are on that yo yo and system with their diet and their health plan. You know, it's not about the number on the scale, my friends. It's really about how, how you feel. It's about what you put into your body. Our bodies are not made the same. They're not going to look the same. You are uniquely and preciously made. There's nothing wrong with you. You know the right things to put into your body. You know what's good and what's not good. Start today and start with one small thing today that you can repeat tomorrow and the next day and the next day. It can be as simple as I'm going to start exercising by walking around the block one time today and then maybe tomorrow you go around two times and the next day three times. Thinking that you have to do something radical and big doesn't mean the health change is going to last forever. You're really focusing on a lifestyle change. And if you can change your lifestyle, you can change your life and you can change your health and you can change your wellness if you're physically well, if it will make it a whole lot easier to be mentally well. Also, those two things are so tied together. Number three, relationships matter. The quality of your relationships define the quality of your life. And let me tell you, friends, relationships take a lot of work. A lot of work. But your overall wellness stems from good relationships. You are the gatekeeper of who is in your life. Make good choices as to who gets to come into your inner circle and have influence in your Life. You are 50% responsible for the success or the failure of every relationship you are in right now. Every relationship you are a part of, you are 50% responsible for the success or the failure of that relationship. If you're in a bad relationship right now, this is a gentle reminder to take a look at your part in the relationship and work on that. Invest time and energy in nurturing deep, meaningful connections. It's easy to sit on the sidelines of a relationship and point fingers and play the blame game that if she wouldn't have said that or he wouldn't have done that, if he would do this, I would be better. If she would do that, I would be happier. The relationship would be better. You're not going to be able to control other people's behavior and their actions. You are responsible for your reactions. You can't control anyone else but yourself, which is why you are 50% responsible for exactly where your relationships are now. You might, I may have stepped on toes, you might vehemently disagree with me, and that is totally okay. You can disagree, I get it. But if you pause for a second and look at what you are in control of and assess the changes that you can make, that you can make, that you're in control of. I think you'll see that by taking responsibility for your part will add to the value of that relationship. You will be the first step of healing a relationship or making it even better. Number four. Self love is crucial. You need to love and accept yourself before others can do the same. Cultivating self love teaches others how you need to be loved. The better you love yourself, the better you can love others. It all begins with you. Friends, practice self love regularly. When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see someone who needs to lose weight? Do you see someone that has bad hair? Do you have wrinkles? Do you have acne? What do you see when you look in the mirror? What do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror? When you love yourself well and you are comfortable in your skin, you teach those around you how you require to be treated. You have boundaries as to what you will and will not accept in your life. That, my friends, is empowering. It is so empowering. It's up to you to teach the rest of the world how to treat you. But until you treat yourself well and love yourself, no one else will be able to love yourself either. Number five. Failure is okay. It hurts to fail. No one likes to feel like a failure. How many times in your life have you failed or have felt at the bottom that you are such a failure you just cannot do anything right. Gosh, if we're honest with ourselves, every single one of us have been in that very place. But I want to challenge you a little bit when it comes to failure. Think about changing your mindset around failure. If you are able to do that, you will learn to think about failure as an opportunity, not as an opposition. In fact, you will look forward to failing. I know, right? You will look forward to failing. Because it's in that failed attempt that you are able to move one step closer to success. If you're in the middle of building a company or a business or stepping up the career ladder, every time you try something and it fails or it doesn't go quite the way you thought it would, or it didn't match what was in your mind, you're one step closer to success because you learned from that attempt what not to do. The biggest emotion wrapped around failure is fear. And if you let fear control your life, you will always stay stuck. You're going to stay exactly where you are. You're not going to progress, you're not going to move forward. You're not going to learn more about yourself. You're just going to stay right where you are in the current plateau. Failure is wrapped around fear. Fear of. What are people going to say? Fear of how you're going to look what you see in the mirror based around fear. But if you look at fear as every failure. Pardon me, if you look at failure as a stepping stone to success, you are going to bring on the failure. Bring it on. Because in order to know the right way to do something, you have to sometimes try a lot of things to get there. Not everything you're going to try is going to be a home run. It's not. Think about a batting average. If you know anything about baseball. Batting averages, they strike out and don't get a hit more than they do. It's true. So if a major league baseball player can make millions of dollars as a baseball player by feeling at the pump, plate, at the plate, in the batter's box, more than he succeeds, think about what you can do in your life. Don't fear failure. Embrace it. And buckle up, my friends, for massive growth in your life. Number six, Money cannot buy happiness. News flash, my friends. Money and things will never make you happy. Ever. Happiness is 100% an inside job, meaning it comes from you. Happiness begins and ends with you. Financial security is important, of course. No one wants to not be able to pay their bills. But it isn't everything. You know. The new car that you wish you were driving, the bigger house you want, and the cute shoes that you just bought last night are a temporary fix to a distraction. A distraction from a much bigger problem. Oftentimes that problem comes from your relationship with money. How you grew up. Did you ever think about ask yourself this question, what relationship do I have with money? Did you grow up in a home where money was scarce and you have a scarce mentality? Do you have fear of not being able to put food on the table, but yet you make an impulse purchase when you know you should be spending money on food? Who taught you how to embrace money and what to do with it and how to be financially responsible? Who taught you? Who did you learn your money habits? Benefits from money is one of those topics that a lot of people get very uncomfortable talking about. You don't want to talk about it with your parents. You don't want to talk about it with your kids sometimes because there becomes an embarrassment around it. A metric on success is gauged off of money. How much money you have is a direct correlation to how successful you are. I don't believe that for a bit. Look at the person who lives in the two million dollar home, drives the nice cars, has all the things anyone could possibly ever want in their life. But yet the relationship with their children is awful. Their relationship with their spouse is non existent. Their relationship with their with themselves is dysfunctional. Think about that. Money does not buy happiness. What you do with your money can buy happiness. I've always believed that having abundance and having a lot of money is not a bad thing. It's your relationship with that money and what you do with that money that matters. If you have abundance in your life, my friend, then you have the opportunity to abundantly give. It's the worship of the money, it's the idolizing of the money where people get into trouble. It will not buy you happiness. In fact, the more money you have, the bigger the problems you have. Those come hand in hand. But what is your relationship with money? I want you to take a few minutes after this podcast and ask yourself that. Meditate that what is my relationship with money and where did that come from? Where did it come from? It will be very telling about your upbringing and about who had the most influence in your life if you can create the answer to that question. The seventh point is cannot please everyone. I think most women feel like they are people pleasers. I don't know if that's true for you, but I know I'm definitely a people pleaser. I don't want anyone to be upset. I want people to like me. I try really hard to please everyone around me. This was a hard lesson for me to learn. You know, I've been in the service industry my entire working career. I started working when I was 14 years old and I've always been in a service driven industry where you are making other people happy. It was a hard lesson for me to learn that I am not going to be able to please everybody. It really made it difficult for me to contend with this notion that trying to satisfy everyone truly is an impossible task. And if I wasn't able to please a client or please someone, I felt it felt like a personal hit on me that there was something wrong with me. If you focus on being true to yourself and the very, very best version of yourself, you lead your life with honesty and kindness. You will be able to start contending with the idea that not everyone is pleasable. Own your mistakes. If you've made a mistake working with a client or working with a friend or a family Member, do everything you can to make it right. And be honest about your mistakes and own them. Own your mistakes. Because remember, you're 50% responsible for the success or failure of relationships. But you can't please everyone. Some people are really not pleasable. And that's okay. As long as you have done your very best and you have led the situation in your life with truth and kindness. Those who matter the most in your life will respect you for it. So coming to the consensus that not everyone is pleasable is okay. Friends, give yourself grace. Release yourself from that pressure of trying to please everyone because it's just simply not possible. And my last point is this. And you already know this. Life is short. Life is so short. Live it to the fullest on your terms. Don't wait for someday to pursue your dreams and passions. Life really is too short. So why are you wasting your time doing the things that don't make you happy, the things that don't bring you joy, the things that are not helping you live to your purpose? Why are you spending time on those things? Live the life that God gave you to live. Find your purpose. No matter how old you are right now, it doesn't matter. Find your purpose. Find your purpose. Because there is a purpose that you are meant to be living today. So, friends, if you're ready to start taking actions to create the life of your dreams, I would love for you to schedule a virtual coffee and let's talk about it. Let's have a conversation and talk about how you can live the life of your dreams, how you can create that balanced life and your balanced business or career. And honestly, I believe there's nothing that coffee and conversation can't solve. The rest of your life is truly waiting for you. My friends. Thank you so much for joining me today. If you want to schedule a virtual coffee with me, my email address is Pamela Jean anewlifemail.com I would love for you to shoot me an email and let's schedule a time for your virtual coffee. It'll cost you nothing. Just get your coffee ready. We'll schedule a time, we'll hop on a zoom call, I'll get to see your beautiful face and we can talk about living the life of your dreams. Oh my gosh. Doesn't that sound amazing? No matter how old you are today, you could be 25, you could be 55, 65. It doesn't matter. Let's start living the life of your dreams today, my friends. Thank you again for joining me. If you like this podcast, please invite your friends share the link and subscribe. You'll find it on Apple Spotify, on my website, Pamela jeanannewlife.com or Amazon podcasts. Make it a great day, my friends, and make it a great August.

Thank you for joining us today on a New Life Podcast. We will see you next time.