Buy The Damn Flowers!

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean, where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready, friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean.

Hello my friends and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life Pad podcast. I'm Pamela Jean. Thanks for joining me. So before I go into our topic today, which is titled buy the Damn flowers, I think you're going to enjoy this. I wanted to mention to you the launch of my new business, Battlefield Coaching Academy. Cannot tell you how excited I am to bring this program to the world. Definitely head over to my website, Pamela jeanne a new life.com for more information or send me a DM. I'd love to have a conversation with you about this program. It's for business owners, executives, entrepreneurs, basically all women who want to advance their careers and their businesses. It's truly, truly life changing. So happy February, everyone. Wow, are we almost in the second week of this month? I just can't even believe how quickly 2023 is clipping along. Already almost a month and a half in. How are you doing on your goals? How are you doing with your mindset? Have you fallen back into the same old ways and routines have not served you in the past? Hopefully. Hopefully you've decided to make some good changes this year. But Valentine's Day is right around the corner. And how do you feel about the day of celebrating love? I can remember growing up crossing my fingers, hoping that someone would send me flowers, a candy gram at school. Do you remember candy grams at school? Did your school have those when you were in elementary school and junior high and high school? You know, anything to feel like I mattered or to feel loved and admired. Have you ever been in a relationship and the person you were with forgot about Valentine's Day or they forgot about your birthday? Have you ever been there? If we're honest, most women look outside of themselves for validation and worth. And what I mean by that is if we didn't receive flowers or we didn't get asked to the prom or asked to the prom in some big elaborate way, there was something wrong with us. This way of thinking began when we were little girls. We were taught to be seen and not heard. We were taught to sit back and wait to be called upon. Wait to be chosen. Yes, we had to wait to be chosen. If we didn't get on the homecoming court, we weren't good enough. If we didn't get chosen by the teacher to do something special, there was something wrong with us as adult women. We have carried that mindset with us as we've grown into our adult selves. We have brought that mindset with us. Look at women in the workplace. How many women do you know settle for less pay than their male counterparts? Is it because she can't do the job as well? Is it because she isn't smart enough? More times than not, it's because women don't ask for more. We settle. And I'm not blaming the men in this world at all. But men have a different mindset. They make a demand on what they need to be paid. They have a different mindset when it comes to what they feel they are worth. But we settle for what is given to us and don't ask for more. We don't want anyone to think we're greedy or self absorbed or think we're arrogant or are better than what we think we are. We really need to change that way of thinking and definitely teach our daughters to think differently as well. In my life coaching business, I spend a lot of time with women who are recovering from narcissistic relationships. Coming out of a toxic relationship like that is so difficult and there's such a long healing process that comes along with that. For a while you'll feel like you're in a fog. There is definitely a grieving process. Much like the death of a loved one, you're dealing with the death of a relationship, a relationship you thought was something that it wasn't. One of the common denominators as a result of this is low self worth and low self esteem. A woman with little self confidence and self esteem is a prime target for a narcissist. A woman who looks outside of herself for validation is ultimately looking for someone else to tell her what she's worth. Ladies, my friends, we have to stop doing that. If we are not chosen, so what? Big deal. No one gets to decide what we are worthy of receiving. So that leads me back to Valentine's Day. My sister's My friend, buy your own damn flowers. Don't wait until Valentine's Day and wait to see if someone in your life decides that you are good enough, worthy enough to receive flowers or even remembers to order you flowers. Have you ever received flowers as a peace offering because someone had done something that really hurt you? That definitely changes your perspective of ever wanting flowers again, doesn't it? So to quote Miley Cyrus, she has a new song out right now titled Flowers. And here's a little clip from her from her song I Can Buy Myself Flowers, Write my name in the sand Talk to myself for hours say things you don't understand I can take myself dancing and I can hold my own hand Yes I can love me better than you can can love me better I can love me better than you can have you ever thought about that? You know when you think about low self esteem, low self worth, low self confidence, all of those things are about yourself. You are responsible for your own confidence. Your confidence and self esteem comes from self. It comes from you. It comes from what you are willing to see within yourself. You know, for many years I was just like you. I would sit and wait to see if I was worthy through the eyes of someone else. But not anymore. My friends, I love fresh flowers and I buy myself flowers nearly every week. Once the the current ones are looking kind of raggedy, I just head over to Trader Joe's or wherever and I buy myself flowers almost every week. I will always have fresh flowers in my home. To me, for me, from me. One of the most liberating things that I've done for myself. I have made the decision that I will no longer sit back and wait for someone to tell me my worth and value. I will look to myself, value myself and love myself without conditions. So friends, happy almost Valentine's Day. I hope you buy the damn flowers to you from you. And remember, the most important relationship that you have with someone else is the relationship that you have with yourself. Make it a great day, my friends and we will chat next time.

Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We will see you next time.