Edie Tolbert with Stonebrook Spa

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean. Hello my friends and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. I am so glad you are here. Thank you so much for spending your valuable time investing your time into this podcast. This is a really, really fantastic podcast that I have for you today. I'm interviewing someone who is so inspirational, so powerful, you are going to love what you hear from this lady. I'll tell you more about her in just a minute. If you will please like and subscribe to A New Life podcast on Spotify or Apple podcast, I would really appreciate that it helps us get seen and heard by more. Also share this with your friends. After today's episode, you will be sharing this with your friends because so many people are touched by the topic that we're going to talk about today. My guest for you friends is Edie Tolbert. Now, Edie and I actually go back many, many, many years. We reconnected at a mutual event, Tulsa Women's Fellowship. We were at this event and I'm hearing this woman speak and I'm like, I think I know her. And after Edie gave this incredible spe and lecture, it was so good, I went up to her and I said, do you remember me? And then we had our aha moment. So we'll talk more about that later. But friends, I want to welcome Edie Tolbert to the podcast. Edie, thank you so much for being here.

Thank you so much Pamela for having me today. I look forward to sharing with you all the things about Edie Talbert. Oh good.

Well, thank you so much. Well, let's start off with the basics. Let everybody know who you are, where did you grow up? Tell us about your family and then we're going to get into the meet in just a moment. So tell us about yourself, Edie.

So I live here in Tulsa. I'm married to my high school sweetheart Ron. We will celebrate 44 years on the 23rd of this month. So just next week I have two beautiful daughters, Tiffany and Britney. Brittany is married to my son in law Chris, who gave me two wonderful grandchildren. Ella who just turned six. Theo who will be three in July. And we're expecting little Miss Penelope on the 19th, 19th of March. We will welcome her into the world. Grew up here in Tulsa, went to school here in Tulsa, went to Rogers. I'm a Rogers Roper if you will. High school Years were one of my favorites that, that I experienced. I had a really good time in my high school years, went to college, got a business administration degree. Always had a little inkling that I wanted to start a business because I tried a couple of things just off, off, off the wall. But. But just, you know, just opening a business and being able to serve people has always been deeply rooted in me. And so. Yeah, so that gives you kind of a little synopsis of who I am and where I came from.

Excellent. So where did you get your entrepreneurial spirit from? Who did you adopt that from? Or did that just come organically from you?

No, I got it from my dad. My dad was always researching and looking for the next best thing. He was a mechanic by trade, was in the Air Force, worked at American Airlines right out of the Air Force, was actually a really genius when it came to mechanics. And so he was always trying new things, researching new things, and it intrigued me the way that he did that. And so I think I'm pretty certain I got that from him.

Don't you love that visionary spirit when you see that in someone? Because I definitely got the same thing from my father. And I see that in you, obviously, Edie, with what you've created. So, without further ado, will you tell the audience about the Stone Brothers project? Let's start with why, why, why did you create the Stone book project?

So in 2008, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And just so many people poured into my life at that point, and it came unexpected. I wasn't really expecting all these people to show up and, and support me through that. And I just knew that I wanted to do something to pay that back. I had people that made meals. I had people that wanted to come over and take care of our lawn, people who wanted to clean my house. It was just. It was. It was almost overwhelming, but in a good way, just to know that there were so many people thinking about me, praying about me, praying for my family. It just really helped me get through that two year experience with breast cancer. It was stage zero dcis, which meant they caught it really, really early. I opted to do a single mastectomy and did not have to do chemo irradiation because they did catch it so early, and it hadn't traveled into my lymph nodes, but it was still a two year process with the surgeries and all the doctor's appointments and all the testing and all the things that you go through when you're diagnosed with cancer that led me to opening Stonebrook day Spa. In 2010, which was two years after, there was a little local day spa that was closing. It's actually where my massage therapist and my nail tech were working, and they were closing. And we all three talked about it, and I just got. I got an impression that I should. I should open a day spa. So went home and talked to my husband. We decided to move forward on it. And In August of 2010, we opened Stoneburg Day Spa. In that process, God really shared with me about how this could be a sanctuary, a place of respite for other women who were going to be diagnosed with breast cancer. And so in that first year, it was just word of mouth that we would provide free spa services for women that were going through cancer as well as survivors. Because even though you're a survivor, even though you beat it, even though you get on the other side of it, there's a lot of athletes aftermath, PTSD type things that we go through after we've been diagnosed with cancer. So did that for about six years, and the need just kept getting bigger and bigger. And again, we weren't putting it out there. We weren't advertising what we were doing, but somebody would hear about what we would. We were doing and say, hey, I have a friend. Hey, my mom. Hey, my dad. And so we felt like. At that point, I felt like God was telling me that I needed to launch a nonprofit. And I knew nothing about nonprofits other than I just donated to them and supported them. I didn't know what all that entailed, but I met with three friends, two of my dearest friends, and they all confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that they all thought I had a nonprofit already. And that was to their surprise and mine, that I didn't. So we launched the Stonebrook Project so that we could. That could be our funnel or our channel, if you will, that would raise the funds to pay for the services that the cancer clients were receiving. And so we launched that in the fall of 2017, really started hitting the pavement in 2018. And here we are going into our sixth year, and we basically serve men and women who are navigating a cancer diagnosis. It's become very focused, very. For a while, we were doing cancer patients, survivors, thrivers. Thrivers, meaning that they may be in treatment the rest of their life, and then caregivers. And that was just very overwhelming for a small business like Stonebrook Project or Stonebrook Day Spa. So we had to really niche it down. We had to really focus in who are the people that we are Serving. And that would be men and women who are navigating a cancer diagnosis. And so that's what we've been doing for the last six years. We're partners with a couple of cancer centers here in town. We've just recently partnered with another day spa in Taliquah, which is about an hour away. And we are helping men and women by providing oncology massage therapy services that help them relax. It reduces their pain, it reduces the nausea, the fatigue. It kind of gives them a sense of control because they can control that part of it where they can't control everything there is about cancer. And it just helps you get through it. It just helps you get through it.

You know, Edie, I think when I first heard your lecture, when you spoke at Tulsa Women's Fellowship, everyone I know is affected by cancer. Everyone either knows someone or has someone or something. I mean no one is not touched by cancer. And I think what took me off guard or it's something I just never real is the. I mean obviously there's pain with cancer, but when you were talking about there is certain massages you can do for someone going through treatment that will ease their pain, that will help them with this, help them with that. I just had never thought of that before, was so focused on fighting the cancer, beating the cancer, but I didn't even think about the kindness, care that a person needs. Going through cancer treatment, that was such an aha moment for me. What types of spa type of things that you experienced when you were going through your cancer that helped you through that? Did you experience anything like that?

I didn't, I didn't. But I just, I remember just the support of so many people. And I know that I love massage therapy. I know I love getting my nails done. I know I love getting a facial and how it relaxes me. So if you're an individual who has experienced a spa treatment, think about you go in, you're stressed out about your job, your family, just the day to day things that you walk through and how massage therapy affects that by helping you release that tension and relaxes you. It also helps release pain, if you will. Like we have many people that come to us that are get a massage before they get their chiropractor adjustment or chiropractic adjustment and just think about those things as a normal person, how you experience those now put yourself in a diagnostic state of cancer and if you can relax, if you can reduce the painful neuropathy that you might get along with chemo in your hands and your feet. If you can relax, if you can reduce the fatigue that's brought on by chemotherapy or radiation, those do increase your fatigue. And if, if massage therapy can help with that, even with the nausea. If, but with massage therapy, that reduces the nausea so you don't feel sick, so that you do feel like you can go out for a walk or you can go to work, or you can pick up your child from school or just fix yourself a cup of coffee. That's what massage therapy does for people that are navigating cancer. It helps reduce those things for them so that they can have a semi normal day. That's important. It's a big deal.

It is a big deal, Edie. And I just. That. That I just hadn't thought about that. It never crossed my mind. And I was so in awe when you were talking about that. And I thought, my goodness, what, how insightful for you to realize how important that was. And, and I know that everything that you're doing with Stonebrook Project and with the spa, everything you did was prompting from the Lord that he chose you to experience this difficult time to bless others. How does that feel, Edie, knowing that God chose you to experience your cancer diagnosis so you could turn around and serve others that are experiencing the same thing?

It feels awesome. Sometimes it's overwhelming. But I think within the last five years, each year he has showed me different things on how to manage this, this great need. You know, it makes me go back to that, that scripture where God always takes what the enemy meant for evil and he turns it into something good. You know, God didn't give me cancer, but he took that diagnosis. I think that sometimes it's hard because I didn't go through chemo and radiation. I. I don't physically, mentally understand that part of it, but because of the people that we serve, I've learned from them how that feels and what it can do. And just for him to take that life changing moment for me and make it good so that we can help all the other people that have been diagnosed with cancer actually get through it. They can see the hope. That's huge. For me, it's the faith and the hope. You, Your hope builds faith. You can't have faith without hope. And so I think all of that that he showed me through scripture and through serving people, just like he did with, you know, he was always, in three years in his ministry, he was always out there serving the people, teaching the people how to have hope and faith. And so he has taken my cancer and he has taught me how to show people the hope and the faith that they can get to the other side, that there are many more survivors than there are not survivors. And so that's what I focus on. And I think that just by him allowing me to do that has. Has changed me greatly. I've always been kind of a servant. I've always been kind of an encourager, a supporter. But this really gave me a purpose, if you will, to really get out there and serve a certain community and make a difference. Make a difference for those people that are walking through cancer.

Oh, I love that. When you take the time to hear what God is saying to you, and with obedience, you follow his path. That is just such a beautiful thing. So, Edie, when I was hearing you speak, you have written a book about your journey. Tell us about your book. I know. I was so excited, and I've read it, and it's fantastic. I was laughing. I laughed, and I cried a little too. I'm not gonna lie. But it was fantastic. So tell us about your book.

So in and among the last five years, God told me that I needed to write my story. And I was like, excuse me, What? I'm not. I'm not a writer. I don't pretend to be a writer. That's really not my gifting. Do you know, my giftings? This is me and him arguing, or me arguing with him, and him just sitting there calmly going, whenever you're ready, we'll move on.

Are you done yet?

Yeah. Are you done yet? And so I said, okay, fine, I'll sit down and write an outline. And so I wrote an outline. And he goes, okay, that's really good. That's really good. Now let's. Let's write some details. I'm like, dude, I. This isn't. But again, it's that obedient factor, right? Okay.

Okay, fine.

Okay. So I wrote. I wrote out some chapters, what I called chapters. And. And then it just kind of sat on my desk for a long time. And then I went to a network, an online networking group, because this was right after Covid. People weren't really meeting in networking groups at the time. And. And then everybody introduced themselves in this one particular lady named Michelle. She. She said that she was a book coach. And I'm like, that's intriguing. What does that mean? And so I. I messaged her after the networking. I said, what exactly is a book coach? And she said, well, I help people tell their story. Oh. Oh.

That's why I'm here today.

Okay. And so. So we met, and I Told her what I had, and. And I said, you know, walk me through the process of how a book coach works. And she told me. And so, long story short, I ended up hiring her as my book coach, and she walked me through. Through the writing process. It took about 18 months from that point. But my. My story, the book is called Uncertain, because when I was diagnosed with cancer, I was uncertain. I was very uncertain how this was going to play out. And the. The book just walks you through my childhood, how I connected the dots from my childhood into adulthood, how that connected the dots into opening the day spa and the project and now telling and my diagnosis with cancer. And it's just a story of how God, he doesn't waste anything. He uses every single single thing, whether it's a celebration or whether it's a trial. He uses all of that and makes it something good. And he wanted me to be able to share that story with other people that are going through cancer, other people that are thinking that they are an entrepreneur, other people that are thinking about launching a nonprofit to serve the greater good. All of those things and how he connected all the dots are in the book. And it just tells my story so good.

I am in awe, Edie, because you have done so much in five to seven years. I mean, do you stop and, like, pinch yourself to say you started a spa, then you started Stonebrook Project, the nonprofit, and you've written a book and you're a speaker, and. And. And how does that feel when you think about that? I don't.

I don't really think about it often. I just. I look at it as the next step. I don't know if it was two years ago, maybe three, I really had a hard conversation with God and said, what am I doing? And why am I doing? And he just said, it doesn't. It doesn't make any difference. I've given you. I've called you to do this, and you just need to wait for each and every next step and be ready. And I'm like, well, how do you be ready? He's just like, what am I ready for? Yeah. Yeah. Can you just tell me what the end goal is? And so I'll have. No, No, I will not tell you the end goal. I will just give you each step as it comes up and when I feel like you're ready and just keep moving one step in front of the other. So. So, yeah. Is that a lot? Yeah. I could never, ever have done it by myself. It's all him and how he directs me and Guides me. I read a book a few years ago. It's called Grace Over Grind by Shea Bynes. It's been my go to. I recommend it everywhere I go because it just, it helps you align with God and he. You put him in the CEO seat, if you will, and you just walk with him side by side and listen and do what he asks you to do. Now, am I perfect and have I taken every step correctly? Oh, no, I have not. I lend it to the fact of like a track meet. He hands me the baton and sometimes I go off and running and he just stands there and waits for me to come back and go, man, I made a mess of this. How do, how do we fix this? And he's like, okay, let's fix it. So you have to. You know, in the last year, I've really tried to get up every morning, work out, whatever that means. If it's walking around the block, if it's walking on the treadmill, if it's lifting weights, whatever it is, that's my time to listen to my music, set the tone for my day. Then I have my quiet time with him. I ask him what's on the agenda for today. He gives me that agenda and I just do that. I just do that. I don't try to look at tomorrow. People will ask me, hey, are you available on such and such day? And I'm like, I have no idea. Let me look at my calendar. Because I literally put things on my calendar. But I don't look to that until that day comes because it just creates distractions for me. And so I have to really stay focused on what's happening today and do my best at whatever that is that is happening today. And that's helped me be right in align with what he wants and how he wants it to happen.

Yeah. Can you imagine, Edie, if seven years ago, God said, okay, in the next five to seven years you're going to buy a, you're going to create a spa, you're going to do a non profit, you're going to write a book. You would have said, oh, no, not me. You would have ran and you know.

Been put on medication. There's no way I would have said, you are crazy.

You're like, I'm not a writer. What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, no, but I, you know, God is so strategic and so, I mean, divine. And he just does it in his way. And when we are obedient and lock arms with him every day and do what we need to do today, the book Gets written, the podcast gets started, which I want to talk to you about next. You. Yes, that. Oh, yeah. And you did a podcast. So tell us about your podcast. I love that you've done that and you're pouring into the world in a different way so people can be in touch with you on the run and on the go. So tell us about your podcast.

So I love listening to podcasts. I've been doing that for, I don't know, six, seven, eight years. My very first podcast was Shay Binds podcast. It was Kingdom Kingdom driven entrepreneur. Loved that podcast. My, my best, my business bestie, Jennifer. We started a podcast called Business Besties because we had so many people ask, she's an entrepreneur, I'm an entrepreneur. They always, you know, they're asking us questions on how to be an entrepreneur. So we thought, well, shoot, we'll just start a podcast and put it out there so people will know how to. To be an entrepreneur. And then, I don't know. Towards the end of. What's this, 2020, towards the end of 2022, I felt a stirring, that something was different because we kind of ran out of topics and we didn't know what to talk about. And we felt like we really needed to focus on. She's a fractional CFO and I am a breast cancer survivor, so we felt like we really needed to hone in on that. And so. And I found myself not only at the day spa, but when I would go out and speak to women's groups, I really felt a lot of people asking me a lot of questions about breast cancer and how. How to navigate it. And so I was talking to a friend of mine and he said, let me help you with that. And we came up with the podcast your Breast Friend. And what I do is I interview other women that have gone through breast cancer. I've interviewed people that provide resour to breast cancer clients or patients, if you will. In the community, we talk about legislation that affects the screening for breast cancer. I've talked to other nonprofits who provide small grants to help with medical bills, gas cards, to go back and forth to treatment, groceries. Because, you know, there's some women out there that are single moms and if they're not working, how are they buying groceries for their kids? How are they putting gas in their car to get them back and forth to school? You know, just all the things that encompass a breast cancer diagnosis, educating on, you know, density for your breasts. That's been a hot topic this last year, just because I've been at it. For 12 years, wait 15 years, I'm 15 years out. Just because I talk to a lot of women, I do a lot of research, I, I talk about the different types of staging in breast cancer, mammograms, radiation, chemotherapy, all the things. I just want to educate as many women as possible to remove the fear and the anxiety that goes along with having your annual mammogram. You know, even though American Cancer Society tells us one in eight women are going to be diagnosed with cancer, seven aren't. So let's talk about that seven too. Let's talk about the different steps that you have to go through for a mammogram. You might get called back, you might not. But if you know what to expect, that can remove the fear of going in and getting that annual screening so that you know what to expect. So that's what the podcast is about. I love doing it. I love educating women. That's really my, my purpose right now is just to educate as many women about breast health, kind of to get in front of breast cancer, if you will.

Awesome. That's fantastic. So if someone wants to connect with you, Edie, will you share with the audience the best way to communicate with you? And also if you would share the name of your podcast again and where they will find that, let us know and buy your book. How can they do all things Edie?

The book. The book is available on Amazon under my name, Ed I E A Tolbert T O L B E R T or the title uncertain. It's available for 16.99 on Amazon. My podcast is on Spotify and Apple and you can just search your best friend or my name again. Eda Tolbert. I do have a website now. It's ed talbert.com and, and the podcast link is there. The link, I can't remember if the link for the book is there but I also have blogs there, different blogs that I write about. Just what I've talked about, educating women on different things. It's also on the website and there is also a link on there where you can connect with me. If you want to email me. You just click on that link and it will automatically shoot an email to me and I can answer any questions that you have about breastfeeding health.

Oh, awesome. That's fantastic. I think the answer to the my next question is pretty obvious, but I'm going to ask it anyway. Where do you want to make the biggest impact in the world?

Breast cancer.

Okay. I mean it was kind of a.

No brainer, but and it's Let me say this more so breast health, because it's like anything else. You have to take care of your girls before you're ever diagnosed. You still want to take care of them. You want to make sure that you're getting them checked. You want to know what's normal and what's abnormal. So, yeah, making a big impact with women concerning their breast health. That's the, that's where I want to be.

Oh, that's so good. Okay, we're going to wind it down here. I have a few rapid fire questions for you. What is one thing no one in the whole world knows about you?

The one thing. Oh, what's. Oh, okay. This, that. I was actually born in Sacramento, California on an air force base and the total cost for my delivery was $3 and 6 cents. Oh, how about that?

That was a bargain.

Yeah, yeah. And my dad told me about it frequently. Most of the time. Yeah, all the time.

Good. Oh, that's hilarious. That's so good. So I want you to think about edie as an 8 year old little girl. What advice would you give her today.

To really work on my, your relationship, my relationship with the lord? If, if 8 year old Edie would have been really in tune with her relationship with the Lord, then I can only imagine, I mean, I am, I am just in awe of what, what he's been able to accomplish through me. But if I had really been in tune with him, then I can only imagine what would happen at Edie as an adult.

Yeah, that's a good one. That's really good. So what is your favorite thing about being a cancer survivor?

You know, the one thing that always comes to top of mind is the number of cards that I received from people. And I know a lot of people don't do that these days. They, you know, the expense of a card is, you know, eight or nine or $10. But let me just tell you a written. Even if it's a thank you or even if it's just a blank card, the impact that people made on my life by the number of written, handwritten cards that I received will still always. I have every single one of the cards to this day, 15 years later. That. Because what I would do is if I, if I got down in the molly grubs, as my dad always called them, I would pull those cards out and I, even today I will pull those cards out. And it brings me back to where I was and how my life changed for the better at that given moment.

And that's such a great reminder that we all need community, period. We have to have community and it has to be real community, not superficial, but deep rooted community. And that only happens with face to face meetings, a cup of coffee across the table, a lunch, sending cards. And it's really funny that you bring that up. I have three friends that I send cards to periodically. Even though we see each other once a month, I send them cards weekly. Just, hey, thinking of you, love you. Here's something funny that happened this week. And we just send cards to each other just so they always know. And who doesn't like getting happy mail? I mean, come on, it's fun when you're like, oh, what's this? This is fun. We all love to get happy mail.

Yes, it's a good thing. It is a good thing.

Very good. So, a couple last thoughts. Edie, may I ask you, how old were you when you started the spa, when you decided to do the Stonebrook spa?

Okay, that was 12 years ago. And I am 63. Let me do the math. 51. I was 51.

I wanted you to say that number, Edie, because I work with a lot of women in the coaching world that come to me in their 50s and say, I'm too old to start a career, I'm too old to do something different. And I just want you and I to both speak into these women that don't. You're never too old to start something new.

No, And I, and I will share this because I have gone to the Lord on many occasions and, and said, you know what, this is too hard, I'm done. You need to find a new purpose for me. And, and I have said, I'm too old for this. I'm too old for this. And I, I heard Moses was 80.

Uh huh.

And I went, all right then.

Alrighty then, Edie.

All right, we'll just keep moving, moving, moving, one step in front of the other. And that's when I think I really started to sit side by side, walk side by side and let him guide me. Because with him guiding me, it makes it so much easier than if I try to do it on my own. But yes, if you look at, if you look at many, many successful entrepreneurs, business women, and you ask them at what age they started, it's going to be in their 50s. It will be.

Exactly.

I wish I could come up with all those examples in my head because I've seen it, I've seen it on the Internet, I've seen it, people posting about it, but a lot of the people that have been successful it's been when they were in their 50s and 60s.

Yes. Martha Stewart is one. I know the. The colonel. KFC started late. There's several. Walmart started late. Henry Ford. Yes. There's so many that start late in life. And I just don't want anyone to feel that, oh, I'm too old to do this or I'm too old to.

No to do that. Got a lot of good years within you, so. Right.

And I believe as long as there's breath in your lungs, as long as you're breathing today, there is something God has for you to do.

Exactly. Exactly.

Oh, my gosh. Well, I just want to share a little quick something. I met Edie. I can't even remember how many years ago, Edie, I was had the honor of photographing your daughters for their senior portraits. And that's how I first met you. And I know that was many years ago, but just when I saw you speaking and talking and I'm thinking about your name, like, ah, that's her. I know it's her. So it was an honor and so much fun to reconnect with you after all those years.

It was. And I think actually Tiffany, my oldest daughter, was at that presentation. She was?

Yes.

She walked up and she said, mom, do you know who this is? I was like, help me. And then when she told me, I was like, oh, my goodness. Yes. Yes. That was where. Good times. Good times.

Yes. Well. And it's just fun how when you meet people, you just never know where your paths are going to cross again. And it always happens in God's timing and in God's way.

Yes. Who would. Who would have thought that by you taking my girls senior pictures, we would reconnect after all these years, which haven't been many years, but after all these years and here I am sitting talking to you on your podcast. How cool is that?

No, exactly, exactly. So there's always a purpose. Well, Edie, my goodness, thank you so much for being on the podcast today. I love your story. I love your project. I know that you're. As a nonprofit, you're always looking for donations. You're looking for businesses and private donations to help your cause. Is visiting your website, is that the best way for people to lock arms with you?

Yes, they can go on edtalbert.com There is a donate button. There's. We receive donations from individuals and businesses. We have grants that we write that support what we do. So if you have a community grant within your business or your foundation, please let me know that we do have people that are called project friends, partners and champions. That means that they, they commit to a monthly amount that they want to support the Stonebrook Project each month that's available. Or if you just want to do a one time donation, listen, every single dollar helps us do what we're doing. We don't have overhead. Our overhead is just our two staff people, myself and our client, our cancer client, Navigator. So I would say 75% of what we raise goes to help provide those services that we provide to the men and women with cancer. So if you would like to donate, please go to the website edtolbert.com and click on the donate button. It's really, really easy.

Excellent. Thank you again Edie and my friends, thank you for listening to this podcast today Again. Please like and share with your friends. We all are touched by cancer in one way or another. Everyone can get something great from this podcast. So share this with your friends and make it a great week. I will see you here next. Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We will see you next time.