Money Blocks! Understanding Your Relationship With Money

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean, where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready, friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean. Hello, my friends and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. I'm your host, Pamela Jean. Thank you so much for being here. I know that you have a ton of choices and a zillion things that you could be doing right now, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate you spending your time with me today. Now, I do realize that you're multitasking right now, which is great. I'm a big multitasker. I'm an advocate for multitasking. So whether you're driving into work or you're going on your walk or you're cleaning your house right now, thank you so much for listening into this podcast. Today we're, we are going to talk about the M Word. Yes, the M word. We're going to talk about money and money blocks. Ooh, this is such a good topic. I've spent some time coaching some clients over the last couple of months about their relationship with money and how their relationship with money has impacted their businesses, how it has guided and dictated their choices and decisions that were not necessarily the best for their businesses. So we're going to dig into that and it's such a great topic. Whether you are a business owner or you are head of your household and you are taking care of all of the bill paying, etc. It doesn't really matter if you're a business owner or not. This affects every single one of us about money blocks. So we're going to talk about that. Before we get into that, I would love for you to share this podcast with your friends, with your family, anybody that you think can benefit from this. That's what we are about, building community. When you're in community with like minded people, amazing things happen. If you know of anyone that can benefit from this podcast, please share that with them. And you, you will find me on Spotify, on Amazon Podcast, Apple Podcast, as well as my website, Pamela jeaneannewife.com podcast and all of the podcasts are listed there as well. So we're going to go ahead and get started because this is such a. It's a topic that most people don't like to talk about, especially women, let's just be honest. Women. When you think about money, when we think about math, right, we think, oh, I don't like math, I don't want to talk about Money, I don't understand it. This has nothing to do with math. Okay. I think it is true to say that not all, but most women academically don't do as well in math and science as what men do. I don't know why, I'm not a physiologist, so I wouldn't know the answers to that. But I think that's very safe to say. But money blocks come from a much deeper place that has just zero to do with understanding algebra and geometry and arithmetic. A healthy and positive relationship with money is really essential for us to live a well being overall life satisfaction. If you ask anybody, well, not anybody, but most people that you ask, what keeps you up at night? A lot of times it's money. It is. The lack of it is, what if I can't pay for the rent? What if I can't make the house payment? What if I can't make the car payment? It's money that keeps us up at night. But what I want to talk to you about today is understanding what your relationship with money is. Where did your relationship with money come from? Is it indoctrinated from your family growing up? Did it come from what you witnessed outside of your family household? But where, where did your relationship with money come from? And whose money belief did you adopt to become your belief? Just think about that for just a little bit. If you can understand and reflect on your beliefs and attitude toward money, understanding where it came from. Consider how you were brought up, your culture, your experiences, how has your relationship with money, your experiences with money, how have they shaped your money mindset today? Are there any negative beliefs or fears that you hold about money? Identifying these beliefs is really the first step in changing them. You know, I've worked with some amazing business owners who are killing it. They are doing so well. They're making their goals, they're making an incredible living, they're doing fantastic. But yet they have a guilt. They have a guilt behind being successful by having money. They feel guilty about having money in the bank. Or I've had some clients in the past who they don't feel like they deserve to have any money in the bank. They feel like they're undeserving. So what they end up doing, and they don't even realize it until we do some exercises together, that they are sabotaging their success because they don't believe they deserve to have money and live well. So what I want you to do is get out your journal. As you know, I've told you this time and time again. Get out your journal. When you get the thing that's inside of you, outside of you, on paper, whether you're saying it out loud, writing it down, you're getting it outside of you. When you can see something outside of yourself, you can create a better narrative, you can have a better conversation with it than if it just festers on the spin cycle inside your brain. I want you to think about whose money philosophy you have adopted from when you were a child. Did you come from a family where you didn't have a lot of. Where you worried about whether or not there would be dinner on the table? Really meager. Meager means? Is that where you came from? Did you come from a family where your parents, your mother, your father spent more money than what you had, that the bank creditors were always calling, checks were getting bounced, you were getting denied at the grocery store, at the clothing store, checks were not being cashed, but you were always behind the eight ball financially because of overspending. Did you grow up in a family where you always had a lot of money, that money was never an issue and you didn't have to do much to get it because it was just there. You don't know how it even got there, but it was just there. You never had to worry about it. Is that how you grew up? You know, I think about my grandparents that grew up in. During the Dust bowl, during the Great Depression. They grew up in a time where absolutely nothing was wasted. They. You didn't have multiple presents under the tree. You didn't have. You had one outfit you wore all week long. You washed it once a week and you put on the same outfit. You didn't have this closet full and full of. Think about what their relationship with money was. Think about great grandparents or grandparents that grew up in that era. Food was never wasted. Every part of the animal that was slaughtered was used and eaten. Think about the money mindset that came from growing up in that era. When you understand your relationship with money and where it came from, you're going to have a better understanding as to why you do or don't allow yourself to live in abundance. Think about that. Why are you keeping yourself from living in abundance? Why are you thinking, what are the neighbors going to say if I buy a new vehicle? I don't want anyone to think I'm better than they are because I have money? When you're in a business where you are trading goods and services for income and you have a bad mindset about money or a negative mindset about money, you have a Money block of I'm not deserving or I can't charge them or they can't afford this or that. You will sabotage your success. Over and over and over you will sabotage your success. Figure out where your relationship with money came from. Figure out where what you think you deserve and what you are worth. Where did that come from? What is your very first experience with money that you can remember? So that's your assignment, friends. Get out your journal and figure out where your relationship with money originated from. Now I'm going to go through some tips and some strategies to help you get past your money blocks. One of the first things as I just shared with that is understanding your money belief, your relationship with money. Figure that out. First of all, that's number one. If you don't know that nothing I tell you from now forward will matter. So figure out that first. First of all, set some clear financial goals. Define your financial goals and priorities. This could include saving for retirement, buying a house, a down payment on that house, paying off debt, or building an emergency fund. Clear, concise goals, not just I'm going to get out of debt this year. I'm going to save money for a house. How? How are you going to save money for a house? How? Don't just say I'm going to. You have to have a plan that goes along with I'm going to. I'm going to save money for a new house by putting 10% of every paycheck into a allocated savings account. Okay? That's a strategy to get you from here to there. If you just blanket I'm going to save money for a house. I'm going to pay off some debt. Without a strategy and a plan, it'll never happen. A year from now you're going to be in the same place, probably in a worse place to be honest with you. But you have to have a plan to go with your goals. Create a budget. Okay, no one likes to do that. If we're honest. No one wants to create a budget. But a budget is a fundamental tool for managing your money. It helps you keep track of your income, expenses and your savings. By creating and sticking to a budget, you can gain control over your financial issues and ensure that your money aligns with your goals. Make sure that your budget aligns with your financial goals. Save and invest wisely. That's kind of a no brainer. Saving and investing are components of a healthy financial relationship and a healthy financial future. Prioritize savings for short term and long term needs. Investing can help your money grow over Time, you know, hire an investment banker. Hire someone, a financial advisor to help you with those long term investments. I can help you understand your money blocks. I can help you create a budget and work on those things. I'm not an expert when it comes to investing and creating a retirement fund. You need to talk to an expert for that. So talk to a financial advisor to help you with your investment. They will also help you with investing to make sure that your long term goal of retirement will be reached. So consult an advisor there. Live within your means. Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. Stop looking at what other people have and think that you need to have it too. You have to live within your means. Which basically that means don't spend more than what you make. That's about as simple as it can be. Financial stress and debt lead to the breakdown of relationships. It destroys families. Many spouses leave a marriage because of financial stress and strain. Align with your partner. Become one with your financial goals and aspirations and live within your means. Avoid the impulse purchases and prioritize needs over wants. I bet if you looked in your closet right now, you have more than enough clothes. You don't need one more black shirt. And I'm talking to myself because black shirts are my staple. But live within your means. I have a little game I play with myself that if I get something new, something new comes into my closet. Something has to go out. So if I, I don't buy new hangers, I make sure that if something's coming in, something's going out. Because I don't like clutter either. So it's, it's kind of a win win in my world. Build an emergency fund. If you don't have an emergency fund, you really, really need to work on doing that. Figure out what your monthly expenses are. Living expense, one month. And the goal would be to have at least three months of savings to cover your expenses. A three month safety net at minimum. Six months would be better. But start with three months. At least have three months stashed away. That in case you get ill and cannot work or your spouse is ill and they cannot work. That you can support yourself for at least three to six months. Paying off debt. Paying off debt is huge. High interest debt can be significant sources for financial stress. And create a plan to pay off your debt. I'm a huge fan of Dave Ramsey and he has a debt snowball course that he teaches and a debt snowball system to help you whittle down your debt. And it works. There are so many people that get out of debt by using the debt snowball. So just look up Dave Ramsey and attach yourself to one of his programs because he has an incredible system for paying off your debt. And continue to educate yourself and stay on top of things. You know everything you need to know about anything. You can learn for free on the Internet, YouTube, Pinterest, Google. Just do a search and what you need to learn and you will find so many resources and it is free. Consult your bank. Your bank is there to help educate you on your financial needs. It's not hard to do. And seek professional guidance. You know, one of the courses that I teach is Balanced Life, Balanced Business and what you learn in that program. It's a year long program, friends, where we meet twice a month, two times a month, we have a 60, 90 minute, two hour session, whatever it takes. And we go through things like financial challenges. If you don't have balance and peace financially and in your business, do you think that your life is going to be balanced? No. If you're balanced in your life, do you think your career and business is going to be balanced? Not necessarily. You have to have balance in all areas of your life and financially, financial is just one pillar. It's just one component that we work with to have a balanced life and balanced business around the finances. But seek professional guidance. If you need help with a debt snowball, talk to Dave Ramsey. Go online and he has a wealth of information. Clark Howard is another one that is so good about money and finances. Get a financial advisor. I'm not a financial advisor. I can't help you with that. But seek out a financial advisor. Get professional help. Because money is something that is intimidating to many of us. We stick our heads in the sand. We don't want to think about it, we don't want to talk about it. It's too confusing. It's math. I don't understand it. If it's something that we don't understand, we make it a bigger deal than what it actually is. Sometimes the dread of doing something is worse than the do that. If you would have just done this years ago, but you've been dreading it for all of these years, then you actually do it. You're like, oh my gosh, the dread was worse than the do. And by not addressing the money blocks in your life, you are only making it worse. You're making it harder in your business to be profitable because you have a money block. Because you can't afford to spend X amount of dollars on products and services. For some reason you think that the rest of the world cannot afford products and services. So then you stop serving them, selling and serving. So you end up with nothing and you end up struggling because of your own money block. You have to get out of your own way when it comes to money and have a better understanding. So seek out help. Practicing gratitude and mindfulness. I know that sounds crazy, but that is so attached to money blocks. Cultivate a mindset of gratitude for the money that you do have and the opportunities it affords you. Instead of thinking, well, I can't buy this and I really want this, instead of being appreciative for what you do have. Sometimes we get so stuck in the rut of thinking about what you don't have and you stop. You don't stop to be grateful and appreciate what you do have. Because if we look at the world from a worldview, what you have is way more than most of the people of the world. I promise you that is a true fact. But practice that gratitude for what you do have. Avoid the comparisons. Avoid the keeping up with the Joneses type of mindset. Everyone's journey is unique and different. Focus on your progress, on what your goals are is so much more important than comparing yourself to what other people have. You know, you might be looking at someone who they just bought a brand new sports car, they might just have a brand new vehicle, whatever. And, and you're thinking, oh my gosh, how in the world are they affording that? You know what, they might not be. They might be so financially stretched and strapped, but they got a new sports car. But here you are driving your five year old vehicle, four year old vehicle, whatever, and you don't have a car payment. Who's going to sleep better at night? You are them. Stop comparing yourselves to other people. You don't know their financial history. You don't know if they just lost a love and they inherited a bunch of money, who knows? But it doesn't matter. Your financial journey, your money mindset, your money blocks are more important to be focused on than worrying what other people are doing. Okay, my final point is giving back. No matter what your financial situation is. Consider giving to a charitable cause in supporting other people in need. Generosity can create a positive relationship with money and a reinforcement that the idea of money is a good tool. It's a good thing. You know, I think sometimes you hear the saying, money is the root of all evil. Money is not the root of all evil. Worshiping money is the root of evil. If your money means more to you than what you can do with your money. That's the difference. It's what you do with it. That's the difference. I want to create and have abundance in my life so I can give abundantly. I don't want to have abundance so I can just buy more things. I don't care about the things. The things are not what are going to make me happy in life. What's going to make me happy is to be able to give to those charities that are close to my heart. To give to the philanthropy, to the needy, to whatever speaks to you. To give means more to me than to get and have. So money is not evil. It's what you do with your money or don't do with your money that can be. So when you think about, if I have a bigger bank account, I should feel guilty about that. I don't deserve this. You have to go back to that root of where your relationship with money came from. How did you arrive with that relationship? How did you get that money mindset and that money block that is preventing you from having the abundance that you deserve. The abundance that you deserve, my friend, so you could give abundantly again. Money is not a bad thing. It's what you do with it that is. And if you can understand where your money mindset and money block has come from, your relationship with money has come from, you can change the world. You can change the cycle in your own family. You don't have to live in poverty just because that's what you were raised in. You don't have to live that way. You don't have to have the scarcity mindset because that's what someone taught you to think when you were a little person growing up. You don't have to live with what you experienced. What you experience does not have to be your forever and ever reality. You can change that. You can change the cycle. You can break the cycle and create a healthy mindset and a healthy relationship with money. And then you get to teach your children and grandchildren how to have a healthy relationship with money. My friends, if you want to know more about how to. How to do this, how to work through it, because I'm telling you this, the step number one of identifying what your relationship with, with money is how you got there. It sounds easy. It sounds like you're just gonna sit down with your journal and write a few things down and poof, you have it. It is not that easy. It's going to bring up some traumatic events. It's going to bring up some tough memories. It's going to bring up with some things that you will need help navigating through. I am here for you. I would love to work with you and lock arms with you and walk through this path with you. Reach out to me and let's talk about some coaching because coaching through this is only going to make your life better. Do you want to stay where you're at? Do you want to stay stuck with your money mind blocks, your money blocks and your money, your negative money mindset? If you like where you are, then don't call me. You don't need your help, you don't need my help. But if you want to learn how to have a healthy relationship with money, get your handle on your finances and pass that good habit new relationship down to your children and grandchildren, then you reach out to me. Send me an email at Pamela Jean A New Life at and let's have a conversation. If you go to my website Pamela jeanneanewlife.com There will be multiple places for you to click on and schedule a virtual coffee with me. Those are free. We'll just schedule some time to chat to just talk about where you're at. We can decide if I'm the right person to work with you, if I can help you where you're at. If I'm not, I will tell you. I'm not going to waste your time or mine if I can't help you. We'll be very honest and transparent about that, my friends. Great topic. Thanks for being here. This is a hard topic and I really appreciate you sticking with me to the end and working through this whole podcast today. Please invite your friends, rate and share this with others because we want to build this strong, beautiful, incredible community. Because life is about community. Make it a great day. My friends and I will talk to you next week. Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We will see you next time.