NO. A Tiny Word With a LOT of Power

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean, where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready, friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean. Hello, my friends, and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I am your host, Pamela Jean. Friends, I have been working on an incredible project and I cannot wait to share it with you. I've been a little bit quiet about it, but I'm going to tell you about it today. I have been interviewing some of the most amazing, powerful, inspirational, incredible women in business. Some in retail, some in ministry, you name it. Just incredible, powerful women entrepreneurs. And I am going to release those podcast interviews as a special release in February for Galentine's Day. You're not going to want to miss this. These women are just going to inspire you to go after your dreams. They're funny, you're going to laugh, you might cry on a few. They're just so, so good. I can't wait to introduce you to these ladies. If you're on my email list, you will have received a little sneak peek of who's going to be in those interviews. But I promise you, you are not going to be disappoint, disappointed, and I cannot wait to share these with you. So today's podcast episode is titled no. A tiny word with a lot of power. This is not about giving the word no, saying the word no, like not overextending yourself, volunteering too much, putting too much in your plate. This is more about how do you receive a no. The fear of rejection is really not a joke. It often really holds us back from pursuing our dreams, reaching our goals, because we're afraid of getting the no. Whether it's asking for opportunities, making sales pitches, or seeking collaboration with a company, or just elevating yourself in your life, the prospect of hearing a no can really be intimidating. So today I want to talk a little bit about, you know, really embracing the rejection and learning to go for a no and realizing that the more no's you go for, that's when your yeses start coming. So if you're looking for the. The new promotion at work or expanding your business or going after better sales, if you are a salesperson, going for the no is really how you're going to reach your personal goals and your professional business goals as well. So first of all, let's have an understanding about the fear of rejection, because that's really what no is to a lot of people. Have you ever Taken the time to understand where your personal fear of rejection comes from. Were you when you were born? Oh, I'm sorry. When you were born, you weren't born with the emotion of fear. You weren't born with that. You didn't come into the world being afraid of anything. So that's a learned behavior. Fear sometimes is learned from the playground in elementary school, maybe your teenage years, or a variety of different origins. You know, here's just a few teenage experiences that may play a role in your fear of rejection. Were you bullied? Being bullied could definitely lead to fear of rejection and not being wanted or feeling included. Did you ever try out for a team or a role in the school play and you didn't make the cut? You know, I think we've all been there. You tried out for something and you didn't get what you wanted. Did you sit alone at. Were you the last one chosen in PE class? You didn't get into the college you wanted to get into, so you felt rejected. Did you have a boyfriend or girlfriend cheat on you or break up with you? And the humiliation of that amongst your peers? You know, there's no doubt that the fear of rejection affects every decision making ability that we have. But if you can understand where your fear of that rejection comes from, you can mitigate that a little more quickly. Explore the psychological impact and the fear of rejection and understand how that has developed and controls your self esteem and confidence. So friends, it's time to shift your perspective on the word no. You can see that no as rejection or as a learning opportunity. Sometimes no is exactly what you need and you don't even know it. So let me ask you a question. What if you were paid $1,000 for every no that you got? Would you get out of your own way pretty quickly and stop worrying about being told no? Absolutely. Of course you would. I have a hunch that you would begin seeking rejection in a big way if you got paid $1,000 for every single no that was given to you. If you're going for that promotion or the SAL collaboration or whatever, you would go after the no a lot harder, a lot less personally if you were guaranteed $1,000 for every no that you had been given. So think about that. Some of the most successful entrepreneurs in this country have embraced the no's. If they can embrace no, so can you. So just think about that. Play a little game with yourself that every no that you get is actually $1,000. Cha Ching, you can 10 no's and you've 10 grand in the bank. So think about that. So I know that's easy and simple because when you put money on it, it just makes your perspective different. But you might need to start building some resilience with that rejection. Facing that rejection does build resilience and mental toughness. It will prepare you for the next no. If you allow yourself to succumb to your feelings, you're just going to fall deeper into that emotional despair where your walls of protection are naturally going to come up around you. You know, back in the day, I worked in marketing and I was in bank marketing years and years ago. And there was a man that came by. His name's Ray Boone. And this is. I don't know why I remember his name, but I remember his name. And he came by religiously to the marketing department dropping off pens. He carried, like the novelty items like pens and notebooks and all the things that you might want to give out to customers or as gifts or whatever. But he came by all the time religiously asking if we had anything we needed and you could drop off a sample. He did it over and over and over. We gave him way more no's then we gave him yeses, but he kept coming. And then one day, lo and behold, yes, Ray, we do need to order something. Come on into our office. If Ray didn't keep coming in and getting the no from us, he never would have gotten the yes. And the same is true for you. You have to develop that resilient mindset. Get over yourself. Get over your feelings. Everything is you. It's not a personal rejection. It's just a rejection to the thing. So get over yourself. My friends, no is part of the process for you to get your yes. Every no, in fact, is one step closer to the success that you're trying to achieve. So go for the no. Just keep going for the no. And there's so much that you can learn from rejection of no. Your marketing and sales techniques may need to be sharpened. Maybe your pricing is off. Maybe you're not working with the correct clients that align with your products. How about this? You just simply need to get out of your way and stop telling yourself the story and believing the story that the no is a personal rejection. When you receive a no, look at it as a gift, an opportunity for you to learn something very valuable. And oftentimes that no leads you down a path exactly where you need to be to get the success that you're looking for. But you have to have the no first. In the land of no's, you're going to get your yes. Now. The only way to really overcome the fear of no is to keep putting yourself out there. And remember, no may not be forever, it's just no right now. And no matter where you are and what business your career is, you're going to experience that rejection. It's part of life, it's part of growth. It's part of growing into and becoming the best version of yourself in the industry that you're in or the business or life. No isn't always about business. It can be in your personal life as well. But you have to remember everything is not about you. I think we get so stuck in our own mind and so inundated with our own insecurities that we make things about us personally. That really has nothing to do with it. It's truly just a business decision. But persistence is honestly the key to achieving your long term goals. You have to get a lot of no's out of the way to be able to get the right yes. And that just points back to, you know, the gentleman that was selling all of the novelty items. If he didn't keep coming into the bank and asking if we needed anything, leaving us samples, giving us ideas, we probably would have forgotten who he was. But he didn't let us. I promise you. And that's where you're going to get your yeses, is when you really, really stay persistent and diligent. And don't forget, when you have your wins, celebrate those small wins. Remember to celebrate the victories big and small, even if they involve getting a no. Especially if the win involves getting the first no. Because when you for the very first time, put yourself in your business or in your life or whatever that looks like, and you get your first no, that should be celebrated. Because for the very first time you put yourself out there, you allowed yourself to be vulnerable. You faced your, your, your low self esteem, you faced your self critic, the self critic that all of us have from time to time, and you stared it down and you got your first no. Please, please my friends, celebrate that now. There is a direct correlation between growth and success. When you step outside of your comfort zone, your comfort zone is a place that will just keep you comfy and cozy. No growth, stagnant, stale, exactly where you are. Growth does not come when we're in our comfort zone. We just stay exactly the same. So if you're looking for that radical growth, if you're looking for that next level in your business or the next level in your life, in your career, in your family, Life in your relationships, you have to get out of your comfort zone. If you don't, you're simply going to stay exactly where you currently are. And if you don't like where you are right now, you must know that step one is to get out of your comfort zone. And honestly, friends, you're the only one that can do that. You're the only one that can stretch yourself, that can get out of your own way to step forward. Learning to embrace the discomfort and uncertainty is really part of the journey. The uncertainty of, you know, am I going to be rejected? Is this going to work out? You have to step into that uncertainty because that's part of the journey. And everything that doesn't work out the way that we think we want it to work out is part of the journey. It's part of the learning process and it's part of the path. Stay on the path, you're fine. You're going to be just fine. But if you can embrace hearing those no's and feeling that rejection, if you can embrace that as positivity, there's no stopping you. I promise you, there is no stopping you. So wrapping this one up, it's a little short and sweet today. I want you to learn to go for a no and know that it's going to lead you to a yes. Every no out there is going to lead you to a yes. You should have as many no opportunities on your daily calendar as you have confirmed yeses. To keep moving forward and growing, you have to keep that balance. So for instance, if I'm just going to use a realtor as an example, if as a realtor, you have, you know, four clients that you're currently working on, four people on your calendar for the week that you are working on buying or selling homes, you have to have at least four people on your calend calendar as well that are prospects that you're working on, that you're reaching out to and you're communicating, you're following up on. If you keep that balance, your pipeline of business is going to stay balanced and more robust. You're not going to have that feast or famine feeling like when you sell a home, then all of a sudden you're unemployed again because you don't have anyone in your pipeline. Keep that balance. So if you've got four deals going, four homes that you're selling, four clients that you're working with, you need to have four more people, your calendar of that the same week for people that you're prospecting. Because once one of your deals go through then one of your prospects, hopefully if you've done it right, you're pulling them into the client list and then you add a new prospect. If you keep that balanced on your calendar, you're not going to have that feast or famine feeling that once you sell a home for a client or you buy a home for a client, that you're unemployed again and you need another client. You keep your pipeline functioning like a well oiled machine and I promise you, you'll have so much stability and less of that high high and low low if that makes sense and it's really in time. Seriously, just to embrace the rejection of no as a powerful tool for growth and self discovery. It's the only way that you're going to grow, period. That's it. And it's time to start believing in yourself. If you can't believe in yourself and what your abilities are and capable capabilities are, no one else will. It doesn't matter who you pitch to, who you talk to, who you try to sell, if you don't believe it yourself, you're not going to convince anyone else to believe in you either. It's simply time for you to start believing in yourself. Believe that you deserve great things and believe that you can do whatever you set your mind to. Because that I fully believe, 100%. In conclusion, if you adopt the mindset of going for the no, you can transform rejection from a roadblock into a stepping stone to the path of success and personal fulfillment. If you embrace that, go for no, that's where that transformation is going to happen. And that's where your personal fulfillment and your business fulfillment is going to come from. And remember, it's not about the number of times that you hear no, but about the lessons that you learn and the resilience that you gain along the way. That's where your biggest areas of success are going to be, is to embrace the nos and believe that this no is meant for me. Because the next time it's going to be a yes. My friends, thank you so much for joining me today. I really appreciate you spending your time here. I know time is very bad and I appreciate you investing your time here in this podcast. If you have any friends that you know need to hear this, please have them like and subscribe. Send them a link to the podcast and hopefully they can be inspired just as you've been inspired. My friends, make it a great week and I'll talk to you soon. Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We will see you next time.