Overcoming SELF DOUBT

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean.

Hello my friends and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. Thank you for joining me today. This is Pamela Jean. I have some really exciting news. My health and wellness plan is going to be announced this week in my private Facebook group which is titled A New Life. If you are not a member of this group, be sure to ask to join. And if you have any of your friends that you would like to join with you, accountability in health and wellness is always a good thing. I would love to invite you to have your friends join you as well. Anyone that could use a strong no judgment zone support group, I would love to have them. So be sure to check out that Facebook group, A New Life. It's a private group. Fantastic. Over 2000 women are in that group and it is an awesome, awesome community. So on with the podcast today. Our topic is self doubt. Self doubt is something we all have dealt with or we are currently dealing with. You're not alone and you're not the only one who suffers from self doubt. And let's be real, self doubt can debilitating. It can be life changing. It can be life keeping you in a standstill, kind of in a vicious cycle if you will. So let's talk about some truths about self doubt. Self doubt is a learned behavior. You are not born doubting yourself. You are not born not having confidence or having a low self esteem. That is all learned behavior. Something happened in your early development that planted the seed of doubt, of self doubt. Did you know? In a study of 130 toddlers 12 and 19 months old, the researchers found that the toddlers fell on average 17 times an hour. Can you imagine if they were new walkers? They fell an average of 69 times an hour. Can you imagine how many non walkers there would be in the world today if we were born with self doubt? We would all have given up after the first four falls. At least I probably would have. So getting to the source of your self doubt pattern is important. Perhaps when you were in elementary school, the kids in class laughed when you answered a question wrong, leaving you feeling dumb, not very smart and inadequate. Or maybe you were bullied at school for the clothes you wore. Maybe making you want to be unnoticed and unseen. Maybe you were a product of severe abuse and trauma resulting in painful and chronic self doubt. It's important to understand where your Self doubt came from. But more importantly, I want you to know that you can overcome self doub. You're not stuck with doubting yourself and self sabotage forever. Essentially, self doubt is triggered by fear. Because of your fear of a situation, you overthink. Your overthinking causes you to doubt yourself. It's a vicious cycle really. You've heard the phrase analysis paralysis. You overanalyze, you can't stop thinking and you overthink something to death. And at the end you don't do anything about what you were going to do because you've overthought the entire process. And when you overthink, you end up kind of stuck in a rut. You know, once you are stuck in that cycle of self doubt, you stay there, stuck, just stuck in a rut. You know, when I was a kid, I lived out in the country on a gravel road. I lived, you know, I grew up in the north northwest. Iowa is where I grew up. And in the spring when the snow would mel and the roads would start to become so mushy and wet and nasty, and when you had the big trucks and the farm implements going up and down that gravel road, it became full of ruts and made it difficult for a car to drive on. Sometimes even impossible. You would have to maneuver the car just right to get out of the rut. And after a few attempts, you could get out. Okay my friends, I tell you that to let you know getting out of a rut takes work and patience. But if you want to get where you are going, you will find a way to break that cycle and get out of the rut. Just like when I was a 16 year old new driver when I wanted to go out with my friends or do something in town, I had to get out of that rut in order to get down that bad, that bad road. So the only way to break the self doubt cycle is to keep trying. Push yourself. Fear can be diverted with knowledge. Educating yourself. For instance, you won't apply for a better job because you are afraid you aren't qualified for the position. But yet you don't know if you're not qualified. You just think you're not qualified. Instead of trying to figure out what the qualification are, you quit before you even try allowing that voice of self doubt to speak the loudest in your mind. I work with a lot of small business owners and entrepreneurs and one of the things that a lot of small business owners are intimidated by is the sales process and the pricing process. Oftentimes they'll be Willing to sacrifice price, which doesn't value them, number one, doesn't value their products. But number two, it doesn't even meet the standards of their cost of running their business. Therefore, they're making decisions out of emotions, out of fear, because they don't even really know what the cost of running their business is. Figuring all of that out can be intimidating. And many of my small business owners just don't even want to know. So they give up before they even try. It's important that when you understand what you're afraid of, educate yourself. Competency equals confidence. Period. How many times were you afraid to do something out of fear? Just you were afraid to do something, and when you finally did, you were pleasantly surprised at how easy it was. It's like, oh, well, that wasn't nearly as hard as I thought or nearly as scary as I thought it was going to be. You allow those voices in your head to take over any sense of logic that you have. You allow your emotions to call the shots. Whatever you are facing, whatever you're afraid of, whatever the fear is that you are living under. Learn more. Use your logic. Before you talk yourself out of something incredible, you need to work on retraining your your brain, which will alter your emotions, which in turn will allow you to make decisions from a logical state, not from an emotional state. There are so many things that you do every single day without even thinking about it. You brush your teeth, you make your coffee, drive to work. Pretty much on autopilot. I mean, have you ever been driving and you go through a light and you get to work or whatever and you don't even remember the drive to work? Oh my gosh. That is the ultimate of autopilot. But the thing is, you've been doing it so often, it's a habit. You know exactly what to do. So I want to challenge you just a little bit. The next time you sit down for a meal, I want you to chew your food on the opposite side of the mouth. Normally we all have a favorite side. Try to chew on the non favorite favored side and see how that feels. It's probably going to feel kind of awkward. It'll feel a little bit weird at first. You might even bite the inside of your mouth. Because let me tell you, when you're trying to learn something new, it is painful. But if you do this every meal for the next two weeks, what do you think is going to happen? You'll get used to eating on the opposite side. Just like when you get dressed in the morning and you put your jeans on or put your pants on. You will put the same leg in every single time you get dressed. The same leg. Try doing it by using the opposite side. What you're doing is you're waking up a side of the brain that is not on autopilot when it comes to getting dressed or chewing your food. The point I'm making with this is you can train your brain to think differently. You're on autopilot driving to work. You're on autopilot when you're getting dressed in the morning, autopilot when you're chewing your food. You can train your brain to do it a different way. You just have to bring it to the conscious and not work from the subconscious. The same is true with self doubting. You can't always change the triggers of fear. You can't. Sometimes the triggers are so deep and so hard you can't change those triggers. Now being aware of the triggers are very, very important. That's incredibly important to be aware of what the triggers are. Because what the triggers of fear are is important to recognize. But I want you to know you can change your response to the fear. You can't necessarily change the triggers, but you can change your response. That's where the power is my friends. That's where the gold is. Because you can change your respons, change your behavior and create an action plan. I've always said what you think determines how you feel, which is your emotions and your emotions dictate your decisions. That's what you need to work on. Interrupting that cycle of pattern is to adjust what you're thinking. If you're thinking out of fear, if you're thinking out of self doubt, if you will always make emotionally charged decisions. And honestly I can't think of one decision I've ever made out of an emotionally charged situation that's been a good decision. Decisions are best made from a logical standpoint and not an emotionally charged standpoint. So change your thinking which is changing your response to your trigger of fear, keeping you out of that analysis paralysis situation. Just don't allow yourself to go there. Create an action plan. You are going to change the overthinking element to take action. When you start taking action, you will build confidence and over time you will break the cycle and create a new habit and create a new way of thinking. So how do you do that? Stop listening to yourself. Honestly, stop listening to yourself when that second, the very second that that self doubt overthinking starts happening. Get up and do something, Move something, move towards the Obstacle. Don't retreat from it, move towards it. The more you move towards what your fear is, what you're afraid of, the more you educate yourself, the more confidence you will bring, the better chance you will have of breaking down that cycle. So just like in learning to chew on the wrong side of your mouth is difficult and sometimes painful, especially when you bite the inside of your mouth. Retraining your brain can be painful too. Just like the analogy of driving your car through the road ruts. On a road, it's not always easy to drive out of those ruts. You have to be careful and strategic and go slowly. The same thing is true about re changing, rethinking and retraining your brain. But friends, it is so worth it. I want you to know that I believe in you and remind you that you can do hard things, you can face those fears down, you can make those changes in your life and I want you to really focus on understanding. You know, write down get out your journal. Perfect time to journal. I am a huge, huge fan of journaling because when you read what you have written two months ago, there's so much power in that and you actually get to see your growth right in front of your eyes because you can read through your growth. But get out your journal and I want you to write down what, what is your fear that is triggering your self doubt? Is your fear embarrassment? It is the fear of looking dumb, the lack of knowledge, the fear of people laughing at you. What will people say? What is your fear? Try to pinpoint what your fear is. Because if your fear is standing in the way of you and the new job, you've got to get rid of your fear. If your fear and self doubt is keeping you from having a beautiful relationship with someone, you've got to get rid of your fear and self doubt. If your fear is getting in the way of you advancing your career, of living out your best dreams, you've got to do something about it. You have to and you can. That's the beautiful thing is you can retrain your brain and learn how to think differently. So friends, I hope that has helped you with understanding self doubt. And I hope this gives you hope and confidence that you too can adjust the self doubt that you have in your life. If you want to know more about one on one coaching, I can help you navigate through your self doubt. Reach out to me. Please reach out to me. It's an incredible program where we work together for eight weeks. We meet once a week, every week for eight weeks straight and we work on the self doubt and we go through some very intense exercises to help you understand. Where is your self doubt coming from? What is the low confidence and the low self esteem? Where is it coming from? And I will teach you how to retrain your brain to be able to live the very best life filled with love and joy and happiness and success. So send me an email amelajeanwlifemail.com I would love to assist you in creating the new life that you've always dreamed of. Thank you friends for being here. Thank you for joining me today. It's such an honor to have you join me in this space. Have a great week. My friends.

Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We will see you next time.

Sam.