Sitting In Silence and Shame

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean.

Hello my friends and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. This is Pamela Jean. Less than 10 days, my friends. The Women's Leadership Summit is happening. A virtual event on October 3rd. From one in the afternoon until five o', clock, I will be coaching three segments and I cannot wait. It's going to be so much fun. So awesome. My first segment is going to be seeking the power in your past, finding yourself, loving yourself and mapping out your future. It's time to stop sitting in silence and shame, which is the title of this podcast episode incidentally, the second coaching segment. Now this is for all of our business owners and our entrepreneurs. It is my business breakdown 10 top tips for every business owner that you need to know to be successful. My third segment, healthy boundaries dealing with toxic relationships. I will coach you on surviving and thriving toxic abusive relationships. Trust me my friends, when I say you're not alone. Go to my website Pamela Jeanneannew life.com and click on the Women's Summit tab and reserve your seat at this very special table. Not to mention Lori Griffin, health coach, entrepreneur, business owner, author, is going to be presenting friends. She has lost over 75 pounds in less than a year. Very healthy, very sustainable way. She is going to talk all all of that Ryan Blair Smith she has created Living fearlessly and the Blair Flare she calls it is a incredible motivational speaker. You're going to love her as well. So let's go ahead and dive into our topic today. Sitting in silence and shame. And what does that mean? Well, let me explain. All of us started out whole. We were not born with insecurities, low self esteem and self sabotaging. We weren't born that way. Do you remember when you were a little girl and you had a vivacious, spunky little spirit? Do you remember that little girl? Do you remember when that was? Do you remember when you were fearless and had enough confidence for 10 people? Well, what happened? Do you remember what happened? Was it something significant or was it something over time that just changed you? Well, what happened to you and what happened to me are both different. We all have our own experiences. We're not on the same road, but we end up in the same place. Sitting in the silence of shame, filled with self doubt, fear and anxiety. There's not a woman I work with in coaching in my life coaching that doesn't have the same after effects of what we've gone through and what we've been through. So although our roads were not the same, but we end up in the same place. Somewhere along our journey our spirit was crushed, broken into a thousand pieces, our innocence stolen, hearts broken, lives forever changed. We became the objects of others. We became inferior to other girls. We worried about fitting in. We worried about being laughed at at school or having a prom date. Why does your worth come from whether or not we have a prom date? Do you remember that in high school? How important that was to get that invitation to go to prom with someone? Since when do we need to look outside of ourselves for validation and worth? How did that happen and why are you not enough? It's time to have a life. Review and reset how you feel about yourself and about your past. It's time to free yourself from the past and change the relationship that you have with yourself. You're going to create a whole new dialogue. A lot of things happened to you that you used to think were your fault. And honestly they had nothing to do with you. But you took blame and shame and carried it for years and years and years because of things that other people did to you or circumstances that were out of your control. Maybe you're still carrying shame and blame, are you? I encourage you to go back into your past and forgive who you need to forgive. Stop and think about how your grandparents treated your parents. What was your life like when your parents grew up? Family history and behavior repeats cycles continue until you decide to break them. Seek empathy for the people that were the cause of your broken spirit. Empathy doesn't give them a free pass. It doesn't let them off the hook if you will. Seeking empathy will give you understanding. You'll be able to understand why they did what they did and when you have a better level of understanding and you realize that what someone did to you was not personal. It wasn't a personal attack on you. It was actually an inner reflection of themselves. When you understand that and see that through the eyes of empathy, it's a complete game changer. So forgive them and then forgive yourself for all the self destructive things that you did to you. Forgive yourself for treating you so badly then for allowing others to treat you badly. It's time to stand up for yourself, redefine yourself and become whole again. And no matter what age you're at, whether you are in your 20s, your 30s, or you've entered your 50s, or you're into your 60s, it doesn't matter. It's never too late to become whole again. God didn't put you on the earth to be a broken spirit. That's not why you're here. So stand up for yourself. Redefine yourself. Reset how you feel about your past. That will help you become what you were meant to become. And to know where you're going, you first have to understand where you've been. So taking a deep dive into that past and have a better understanding of where you've come from is so very powerful. Break the silence, My friends, you're not alone in your trials. Don't listen to the lies that you have told yourself for years. Guilt, shame, and embarrassment will hold you hostage to your problem. Keeping silent will keep you stuck. And if you are feeling isolated and alone right now, these are all lies. You are not alone. I want you to think back to when you were a kid or even a teenager and you told a lie or something happened in your life that was so big and so powerful that you were so embarrassed about that you had to keep this thing, this secret to yourself. You couldn't let anyone know because if everybody knew, the embarrassment would be overbearing. You could not take it. It would be just simply too much. But, my friends, truly keeping silent about all of this stuff will keep you stuck. Being in community with other women is so very important. Having your tribe of fighters battling for you and with you every day is so important. This allows you to connect with other women who have been where you are right now. You're not alone in what you're going through. There is someone else in your community that you probably see every single day that has gone through or is going through the exact same thing. Now, your journeys might be different, that might be different, but the results of your journey are identical. We all go through the same level of suffering. That is why I hope you join me at the Women's Leadership Summit. Become part of this beautiful tribe. Share your journey so other women will be encouraged. Find strength in others when you cannot find your own strength. We all have been sitting in silence and shame for things that were not our fault. It's time to let your voice be heard, my friends, and change your life. Thank you so much for joining me. I am so grateful and appreciative for your time for listening in. I hope that you heard something today that will inspire you to take control of your life, to be proud of who you are, to love who you are and potentially change the lives of someone else. Friends, make it a great day. Have an incredible week. And I'LL talk to you again soon.

Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We will see you next time.

Sam.