Take Responsibility Of Your Life

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean, where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready, friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean.

Hello, friends. Thank you for joining me for this week's episode. For A New Life podcast. I want to give you a little bit of a warning. This week. I may step on some toes. It's never my intention to upset anyone. However, in order to grow, we often need to feel the growing pains. And that is not always the fun part of growth is we have to feel those growing pains. And let's be honest, gosh, if you were a little kid growing up and you remember waking up in the middle of the night with your legs aching from all of the growing that you've been doing, there's pain in growth. So just going to give you a little forewarning, you might feel a little bit of the growing pains today. And that is okay because you will be okay. So with that, friends, let's go ahead and jump in. I'm going to ask you a question today. First of all, two questions. Are you a proactive thinker or are you a reactive thinker? Before you answer, let me share several attributes of a proactive thinker. Someone who thinks proactively takes responsibility of their lives. They don't blame other people for their mistakes. A proactive thinker doesn't blame their environment for their lack of success. When I say environment, I mean your upbringing. Coming from a poor family, having a broken home, circumstances, you know you're a victim of your environment, your circumstances, they don't really have bad days. A proactive thinker doesn't see outside influences such as being treated badly for someone or they're having a bad day because of, gosh, it's raining out. I'm having a bad day because the weather is so yucky. So they don't have bad days because of outside influences. That is someone who is a proactive thinker. Now, here are some attributes of a reactive thinker. Reactive thinking people are influenced by the behaviors of others. That would translate to you go into the office and one of your co workers is having a bad day and you are directly impacted by them. That's a reactive person. Also, a reactive person allows the weaknesses of others to to control them. Reactive people make excuses for why they are where they are in their lives. A reactive person also allows the mood and tone of other people and their weaknesses to be influenced by them. So I'm going to ask you that question again after hearing the attributes of a proactive thinker and a reactive thinker. Which one is you? How do you see yourself? In order to learn to love yourself? It is so important to start exercising proactive thinking. Proactive thinking gives you the power to control your mood, your successes, how you see the world, and ultimately how you see yourself, which plays directly into how you love yourself. When you proactively love yourself in all areas of your life are going to start lining up. I'm going to say that again. So as you proactively love yourself, all other areas of your life are going to line up. You are able to see life with a new sense of clarity and have the ability to establish those healthy boundaries that all of us so desperately need to have our lives. So friends, how does this fit into your self love mastery? Well, I am glad you asked because we are going to have a good conversation about that. So here are a few harsh realities. You are where you are in your life because of choices and decisions you have made. Period. There are no if, ands or buts about it. You are where you are because of the choices and the decisions that you have made. You have made the decisions. No one has made them but you. And the common denominator in all of your mistakes, in all of your life lessons have one thing in common, and that one thing is you. It's important, friends, that you own the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to the mistakes that you have made. Once you have the ability to own that, you will take back so much power in your own life. It will help how you think and more importantly, how you see yourself. And it all begins with you, friends. I promise you, when I tell you that it's an inside job, it really, really is. You know, you can't blame your parents or a teacher as much as you would like to say. You know, my parents were never there when I was growing up. They never came to my events. They were never there. It's easy to blame a teacher. That teacher was so hard on me. I didn't pass my biology because of that teacher. Or to try to blame a spouse. You know, if my husband would pick up more and do more around the house, then my life would be better. Or to blame a girlfriend. If my friends were better friends, I would be better. When you place blame on others in your life, you are really living in a victim's mentality and you're choosing to stay stuck. This is where those growing pains and that harsh reality that I was talking about earlier comes into play. Now I'm not saying that you haven't experienced bad things. We all have. We all do and we all will. You know, no matter where you are in your life, you've experienced bad things. And quite honestly, there are more bad things waiting for you. You're going to experience more. You know, none of us have skated through life without the bumps and bruises. We all have deep scars and wounds that when opened up, bring us back to those a barrage of emotions that can be difficult to navigate. But friends, this is where those hard times in life have happened for us and not to us. And I know you've heard me say this in the past and you might get tired of hearing it and I'm sorry, but it's 100% true. The hard times in life, they have happened for us, not to us. And when we take the time to understand and concentrate on thinking about why has this happened for me? How has this happened for me? What can I do with this experience? How has this experience happened to make me grow? How am I supposed to grow? What am I learning through this bad experience? When you can approach the hard times like this, that is where the ultimate power comes in in your life. If you make the choice and the decision to think about, why did this happen to me? Why? Why did this happen to me? I'm a good person. How come I'm in this situation? Why did this happen to me? When you think about why did this happen to me? That's where you get stuck feeling like a victim and acting like a victim. You know, we've all been around those people that live in the pity party for just a little bit too long. And trust me when I say, you know, there's been experiences that I've gone through that I've wanted to lick my wounds for longer, longer than what I have or have licked my wounds for too long and lived on my own little self pity party. But that didn't get me anywhere. And it's not going to get you anywhere either. When you are thinking proactively, you will start to look at every situation that you encounter on a daily basis as a okay, what am I supposed to do with this? How is this happening for me? How am I going to learn and grow and how can I impact other people through my experience? When you take the bull by the horns in that manner, in that fashion, that's when, wow, you get to take back so much power in your life. The easy solution truly is to blame others and live like a victim. That's the easy way. At least that's the temporary, easy solution, but it's not going to serve you long term. I want to share a great quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, and it is this. No one can hurt you without your consent. And you can insert so many different words into that. No one can hurt you without your consent. No one can make me feel guilty without my consent. No one can make me feel ashamed without my consent. No one can make me be afraid when. Without my consent. Stop and think about that. Friends, you have so much power over you. It is so incredible. So I challenge you to stop giving others permission to hurt you. Stop giving others permission to make you feel one thing or another. Stop giving people permission to make you feel guilty or ashamed or anything negative about your life. It's a beautiful thing, friends, when you take that power back and you get to decide how you feel about what others do to you, you determine the impact they have in your life and talk about the power that you have in your life. Friends, when you completely create the proactive mindset, you know, reactive people think about how things are not happening right in their life. If only I had more money. If only this, if only that. If only I didn't have a car payment. If only this, if only that. You know what I'm thinking? One other attribute of a proactive thinker is someone who takes the consequences of our choices and our actions and owns them and doesn't try to blame other people. You know, if you've ever. I mean, here's an example. If someone gets pulled over driving home from the bar late at night and they end up getting arrested for a dui. Okay, well, whose choice was that? Whose fault is that? Is it the bartender's fault or is it the person who got behind the car and decided to drive home while impaired and got arrested? And you would be amazed at how many people. And you probably know someone that will try to blame the bartender. Well, they knew I had drank too much. They knew I shouldn't be driving, and they gave me that, you know, last drink I shouldn't have had or six last drinks, whatever that happened to be. If you're someone who is on a health journey or a weight loss journey and you decided to have not just a bite of dessert, but, you know, a piece of pie. You had the whole pie. Well, who are you going to blame? Yourself or the person who put the pie in front of you? You know, we have to be able to accept the responsibility of our mistakes and of our actions and our choices. And that's another great attribute of a proactive thinker it's so empowering when you take that responsibility and you own where you are in your life. You are where you are truly because of the decisions and choices that you have made. So in wrapping it up today, I just wanted to say a few more words about that. You know, happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice. Taking responsibility for our choices and blaming others or circumstances is a proactive choice. Just like loving yourself and loathing yourself is a proactive choice. Friends, isn't it time to start thinking proactively? Aren't you tired, so tired of feeling the way you have felt for so many years? I know that you are because I have been there. I have been in that place where you are, where nothing you do seems like it's enough for other people. No matter what you do, you still feel like the gum on the bottom of another person's shoe or that doormat that they wipe their feet on. I have been there. I have felt that. I know exactly what you're going through. But it's time to change that narrative in your life. And I want to invite you to join me for my Self Care Mastery course titled Learn to Love Yourself from the Inside Out. This course will begin soon and you can sign up on my website for the founding members club. It's Pamela Jean. Excuse me, let me say that again. Pamela jeanneanewlife.com Founding Member thank you so much for tuning in this week. Make it a great one because that, my friends, is a choice as well.

Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We will see you next time.