The "BER" Months Are Here!

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean, where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready, friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean. Hello, my friends, and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. I am your host, Pamela Jean. Thank you so much for being here. I have to tell you, last week's episode on the Empty Nest. Wow. What a fantastic response I had from all of you. Thank you so much for that feedback. You are amazing and I'm glad you enjoyed that podcast because I know it was so important for so many people, especially this time of year, as you're just now getting used to your kiddos being out of the house and moving on to the next big thing. Well, officially, my birthday month is over. Today is September 1, 2023, and I have to say, I'm pretty sure I'm one of the most blessed women on the planet. I had so many people, many of you listening, reach out to me through social media, through messenger, through text, through email. Thank you so much for all of your kindness, the kind words. Some of you sent gifts, some of you sent cards. So much love. I felt very, very loved, not only by all of you, but also my family. And I'm so grateful, so very grateful for that. So, friends, ready or not, the burr months are here. Officially today. The brrr months are here. And if you've never heard of brrrr Months, well, I'm talking about September, October, November, December. Those are the burr months. And I don't know about you, but I am ready. I'm really ready to get my fall wreath up on my front door. I got a new one this year, and I'm kind of excited to to get it hung up and look forward to doing a little bit of fall decorating out on the front porch. There's small, tiny little signs of fall. Where I live, just the. The leaves are starting to to fall. In Oklahoma, it gets so hot in the summertime that by the first part of September, a lot of trees are losing their leaves already simply because they're just too dry. We don't always have the beautiful fall colors, but that sign of the leaves starting to fall is there. Our humidity starting to go away a little bit. So I'm not gonna lie, I'm kind of excited about that. It's nice to not have that high, high humidity. We still have toasty temperatures, but without the humidity, it's bearable. So I'm super excited. So what do you look forward to in the burr months, you know, for me, September is just filled with that, that beginning of the change of season. And it gets me thinking about newness and freshness. Every new season that comes upon us, I always pause and think about that. We have, you know, a few more weeks of summer, but for the most part, we're getting into fall mode. I'm looking forward to digging into my fall wardrobe after summer. I feel like I've worn the same thing week for the last, you know, nine or so weeks. So I'm excited to start digging into that fall wardrobe and pull out some jeans and comfy sweaters and things like that. But September for us, we look forward to again, change of season, football season starts. The first home football game is this weekend. Of course we'll be there. I'm excited for that. But just that freshness of spending more time outside because the summers here again are really hot. So we haven't had as much. So I'm looking forward two more evenings outside, evening walks. I get to walk the dog again. It's been almost too hot to take her out, so I'm excited about that. In October. Gosh, October. Looking forward to Halloween and what that brings. The excitement of the kids coming to the door. That's always so special. And of course November comes and we have Thanksgiving is just there. And you know, we shouldn't have to have one day a year, a holiday to remind us to be thankful. Because if we're honest, we have so much to be grateful for and thankful for every single day. We don't really need a day or a holiday to remind ourselves of, of how fortunate we are and things that we have to be thankful for. But we have that in November and that's always a fun, fun time. And then Christmas, gosh, Christmas in December. The last of the burs. But also the last month of the year. It's just hard to believe that at the end of December, really, as we get into 2024, we are for almost four years post Covid. I don't know how you guys feel about that, but it's a little. I don't know, it's a weird thing because I feel like it is just happened. Like we just came out of the whole Covid chaos. But yet it's four years ago. And I think back to how life has changed, society has changed, how we have changed since then. It's just really interesting. But it's hard to believe that we're almost four years away from when that chaos came upon our country. So grateful that I am where I am, and hopefully you are where you are. So, so very blessed. But we have a lot to look forward to in these next few months. You know, sometimes you look back at the year you just had, and I know we're just into September, but you think about, gosh, I didn't do everything I wanted to do. I didn't get done in 2023 what I had hoped to get done. You're regretful, maybe you're excited about the upcoming holidays. No matter where you find yourself today, I want you to know that you can hit the reset button at any time. And if there's a goal that you didn't hit when you set it with such conviction in January, you haven't even touched that goal yet, you can still start September 1st. So just because it's not January 1st doesn't mean you can't start. So I encourage you, my friend, to hit that reset button on anything. And sometimes when we start out our year, it doesn't always go the way we had planned. In fact, almost nothing goes to how we have planned because God's a huge God, my friend, and he. He has his own plan. We think we know what we're doing, but a lot of times he takes control and he does what he knows, what we need, not necessarily what we want. What we want is not always what we need. And having that faith always tells us that our best interest is taken care of. And if we just let God lead. My goodness, life is such a beautiful thing. So as we, as we slide into the final act of 2023, I just wanted to share some random thoughts with you. I was sitting this week thinking about what to share and what to talk about this week. And this is what I landed on. I guess I'm kind of in a reflective space right now. Not sure why. Maybe it's because I just had a birthday, I don't know. But I just wanted to share some, some thoughts with you. And hopefully this is inspirational and potentially life changing for you as well. So the first thought is this. Sometimes the days are very, very long, but the years are incredibly short. And I think that is a testament to the fact that we're already in the ninth month of 2023. The days are really, really long. Sometimes when you're in the grind of taking care of kids, going to work, taking care of a family member, the days can be really, really long. But make the most of each day. You know when your life is towards the end and you know literally your days are numbered that you don't have very many days left. You're never going to look back and hope that you had more time to work or hope that you had more time to sleep. You're going to hope that you simply had more time. Make the most of each and every day. Pray, meditate and breathe through those tough moments of each day. Because remember, those days are long, but the years are very, very short. The second thought is this. If you woke up today and you're reading, listening to this podcast, then know that God is not done with you yet. There is a reason why you woke up today. There's a reason why you're listening to this podcast. There is something so unique and special that you were meant to do. A purpose in this life that is bigger, bigger than your imagination. You cannot imagine what your purpose is. But know this. If you're breathing right now, if you just took a breath, then there's something special you are meant to do. The next thing is this. The Burr months bring a different level of busyness. And I want to remind you that it is okay to say no. No can honestly be your very best friend in the chaos and craziness of daily life. I don't know of anyone that says, I'm bored, I have nothing to do. Everybody has so much to do. So I want you to remind you that if you say yes to everything that comes your way, then ultimately you have to say no to something else. So if you are saying yes to everything that's needed at your kid's school, or if you're saying yes to every new project at work, or if you've said yes to expanding your business, if you're saying yes to everything that comes your way, potentially you're saying no to something or someone else you don't want. Taking on extra projects at work to take away from time with your children. Because again, remember, at the end of your day, you're not going to be looking for oh, I wish I had one more day to work. You're going to wish you had one more day to spend with your children or your family or those people that are very important in your life. Just a reminder that saying no is okay. And if you're not sure, don't say no so quickly. Say, let me think about it, let me think about it. And sometime your no doesn't mean that it's no forever. Sometimes it's just no right now. And that's okay too. If you're not going to respect your time, the people around you are not going to expect your time either. My next Thought is about detachment. Have you ever been in a relationship or a friendship or a work environment that is really, really unhealthy and toxic? Detaching from unhealthy or toxic relationships is necessary. Sometimes you can't eliminate all relationships. Sometimes the toxic person is family or someone you have to see at work. But you can detach from that unhealthy relationship or person. If you have to keep, enable to keep your sanity, do that. It's okay to do that. Don't feel like you have to stay stuck or all the time because you're afraid of hurting someone's feelings. Now, detachment doesn't mean that there's a big dramatic exit or confrontation. It doesn't mean that at all. Detachment means you are just quietly taking a step back and fading into the shadow of that relationship. It's not only necessary, but it's imperative for your sanity. So don't be afraid to detach from those unhealthy relationships. Now if you need help doing that, if you don't know how to do that, I am here for you. I can teach you how to detach in a healthy way that is non destructive and actually quite positive because sometimes the toxicity festers and builds and grows between two people even without even trying. So you detaching is not only a benefit to yourself, but can be a benefit for the person or the relationship that you're detaching from. But let me know if you need any help detaching because I am your girl. I can walk you through that. Never, ever be afraid to negotiate and fight for yourself. You know, I was, I just got a different vehicle and I'm. I don't like, I don't like the process of purchasing vehicles. And I think if anyone has done it recently, you know what I'm talking about. Because I know they all work on commission. And it's. I'm not knocking anyone, it's not being rude or anything. But the thing is, is it's a strategy on their part to get you in the little room. And then I'm gonna go talk to my manager, then I'm gonna go talk to this person, then I'm gonna go back and it's this. It's like they're trying to break you down. And during that process, I was so excited to use my negotiation skills. And there was not one point ever did I feel intimidated or behind the eight ball and confused on I don't know what to do. Never be afraid to negotiate and fight for yourself. You know, I do not like it and In a strategy where you break a person down to get the upper hand on them. I do not like that. And you know, ladies, listening, if you are afraid to fight for yourself or afraid to negotiate because you don't want them to think that you're rude or a bee or too demanding or whatever, I'm sorry, but I would love to talk to you about that and change your mindset on how to fight for yourself. Because if you're not going to fight for yourself, no one else is going to do it for you. You know, I could have taken the first offer that they gave me on my vehicle as a trade in and just said okay and walked away. But the number they gave me was not satisfactory. I did my research. I knew what I knew they were trying to undercut me by over $5,000. And I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen. It's not happening. I looked at it, they gave me their quote and I looked at them and I said, that is not acceptable. You will have to do better. You will have to do better. I'm going to leave now. You all think about how you can make that better and reach out to me when you have come to a conclusion. And I will tell you, from the time it took me to drive from the car dealership to my home, I had a phone call from the manager saying, we will do. We will match the price that you want. We will take the price that you want. We want your business. I didn't even get home. It was less than 10 minutes. It was close to where I live, and they already were able to magically find five extra thousand dollars. So you have got to negotiate and fight for yourself. Being sweet and kind and friendly is not going to get you the best out of life. Now you have to be those things to be a good human being. Of course, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be. But if you're going into a situation that requires negotiation, being nice and sweet and kind is not going to get you the best price. They will try to take advantage of you. That's what happens so many times. And if I had a raise of hands, I bet everyone listening would raise your hand and say, yes, I've been taken advantage of before because I'm too nice. Now, if you know me well and if you know me personally, you will know that I'm a very kind person and I am very, very nice to people. My kids used to make fun of me because they're like, oh my gosh, mom, do you have to be so nice to everybody. I'd be at the grocery store and saying hello to everyone and I hope you have a good day. You can be a nice person and stand up for yourself at the same time. It's not either or. You can do both. You can have enough love and respect for yourself to fight for yourself and negotiate and still be kind. I was very kind to the people I was working with on the car deal. Very kind. But I also had a healthy boundary of what I was willing and not willing to accept. And in a very kind, tactful manner, passed on that information to them and said, your offer is not acceptable. There's nothing rude about saying that because it's the truth. It was not acceptable. I've done my homework. I have a offer for X amount of dollars and I'm going to leave now. If you. When you have time to think about your offer, let me know. And I left. And I left. And less than 10 minutes later, I had a phone call that we want your business will match the price. That wasn't hard at all. And you know what? I don't feel one ounce of guilt for that. Because I know what I am worth and I know what that vehicle was worth. And I know that I was trying. They were trying to take advantage of me. And if I allowed it, they absolutely would have done it and not thought a second thing about it. Ladies, fight for yourselves. Fight for yourselves, please. Okay, the last point that I have for you as the holiday season nears, do not let the commitment of taking care of your body and taking care of your health and wellness slide. Okay? I know it's just September, but in a month, we are going to have Halloween candy everywhere. A month after that, we're going to have Thanksgiving dinner and pumpkin pie and all of those things. And then a month after that, we're going to have Christmas cookies and fudge and all the things and the parties and all of the things. Ladies, you have worked so hard this entire year and focused on your health and focused on your wellness and made so many strides. Do not let this season destroy that and throw you off course. Keep doing what you're doing. Do it in moderation. Don't deny yourself, you know, a Christmas cookie. Have it, enjoy it. Just don't have five at one time. You know, have the pumpkin pie. Just don't have a huge piece. Have a couple of bites. Share it with your spouse or share it with your kids. Have two bites and be done. Don't sabotage yourself with this season. Don't feel like, well, I can wear my big fluffy sweaters now. No one will know. But friends, your body's going to know. Your body is going to know. And as you get older, you know, whatever age you're at right now listening to this, it is never too early and it's never too late to start taking care of your body and making your health a priority. I turned 55 in August. I'm telling you, I don't know what 55 is supposed to feel like, but I don't feel that. I feel fantastic. I feel so good now, trust me. I still enjoy a glass of wine during the week. I still enjoy a bowl of ice cream, probably more than I should, but I take care of my body. I work out five days a week. I really focus on putting good things in my body. I'm really working hard right now and increasing protein. That's a struggle for me, but I'm working really hard at increasing my protein because as I get older, I'm going to need all that I can get now to age well, to not have physical ailments. By the time, you know, I'm 65, 10 years from now, I want to be able to chase the grandchildren, to play with the grandchildren, go up and down the slides with the grandchildren for as long as I possibly can. I don't want to be the grandmother that sits on the bench and says, oh, yeah, Grammy can't do that. You know, Gammy's knee hurts, Gammy's back hurts. I don't want to be that grandmother. I want to be the grandmother that's out throwing the softball pitches when we're having a family softball game going on. I want to be the Gammy that goes up the ladder and down the slide with the grandkids when we go to the gathering place or the discovery lab. I want to be that grandmother. And I think you probably do too. So don't let all of that progress that you've made on your health and wellness slide. When we get into the burr months of September, October, November and December, we have a lot of things coming at us. But take care of your body, friends. I hope the insight insights that I shared with you are helpful. I hope it was maybe mind opening on detachment, on getting through some of those hard days, taking care of your body, releasing those toxic relationships and, and mostly, gosh, negotiate and fight for yourself. You are so incredibly worth it. So next week, I'm excited about next week. The. The topic for next week, sorry, I'm going to be talking about sales strategies and techniques if you are a business owner or you work in sales or you need help building your confidence, any of those things, you will not want to miss next week's episode because I'm really talking about the confidence and mindset and some sales strategies that will help you get the results that you want for your life. From closing deals, from making turning your leads into contacts and your contacts into clients. I will help you with all of those things with some simple techniques and strategies. I'm not a hardcore sale person. I don't like to be treated that way, so therefore that's not who I am. But I can teach you some really, really practical tips and strategies so you don't want to miss next week. And Please share this podcast with your friends. You can hear me on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Amazon Podcast, or you can listen on my website. Pamela jean a new life.com Click on the podcast tab and the most current podcast will pop up first. Friends, thank you so much for spending this time with me today. I really appreciate you. Please leave a review that helps me get found and noticed. If you can leave me a review and let me know how you liked this podcast, you can reach out to me via email. Pamela jean.anew lifemail.com anytime. I look forward to hearing from you. Until next time my friends. Make it a great day. Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We will see you next time.