Turn the "Why Me" moments into "Why NOT Me?'

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean.

Hello my friends and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I cannot wait to share with you some exciting, exciting things coming up. So Here is the first Save the date, save the date for May 19th for all of my entrepreneurs, business women, people out there that have a side hustle that are trying to figure out social media. Well, guess what? I'll be putting on a social media workshop, Hands on workshop on May 19th in Tulsa, Oklahoma. So this is something friends that you do not want to miss out on. When I say hands on, I mean hands on. You will bring your laptops, you will be told what programs to have downloaded, how to prepare. We are limiting to only 25 people because of the nature of the workshop. I want to be able to help everybody throughout the day, try to map out your social media calendar, define your branding style, create some branding templates when you get into social media as well as teach you how to lay all of those out and to do some automated scheduling because let's face it, unless it is easy and automated, you're probably not going to do it. So may 19th save the date Social media workshop Hands on limited to 25 people in Tulsa, Oklahoma. So mark your calendars for that. More information of course will come. I want you to know that my self care mastery course kicked off again today. So if you missed out on signing up for that second round, be sure to contact me and let me know. I will send you a link to a special price that you can get signed up and get started this week and stay caught up. Lastly, this is so exciting. I want you to go to my website Pamela jeanneanewlife.com merchandise and check out all of the new merch. It is so much fun. I have a whole line of self care, self love inspirational items that are so on point and then I've created a new line called Commit to be fit. So awesome to fit right into the health and wellness world. So be sure to go to my website Pamela Jeanneannew life.com merchandise and check that out. You are going to love it. I just got in new water bottles today that are amazing. Okay, so onto our podcast for today. I want to ask you a question. Have you ever been in a moment of your life where you have been on your knees and just asking why me? Why me? You know You're a good person, you try to do the right thing, but yet you have found yourself in this situation that you're asking, why me? Why is this happening to me? Well, what I want to talk to you about today is turning all of those why me? Moments into why not me? Just stop and think about that for a second. How many times have you asked yourself, why me? And I want you to start thinking about asking yourself, why not me? So let's begin here. Do you spend more of your time talking about your past, thinking about your past, or talking and thinking about your future? When you spend all of your time consumed with what happened in your past, you are inhibiting and limiting the ability to live your best life in your future. So all of the things and all of the decisions and all of the things that you thought six months ago, two years ago, five years ago has created the path for you to be where you are right now, exactly today. So if you are not where you want to be in your life today, maybe you're in a bad relationship, maybe you've been at a job that you dislike for five years too long. Well, think about the choices and decisions that you made two years ago. If you had made a different decision and stopped living and acting in fear, where would you be today? Perhaps you'd be in the relationship of your dreams. Maybe you'd be in that job that sets your heart on fire, that you love to get up for every day. So I want you to take a second to think about something from your past that still has power over you, something that still is dictating your just decisions, your choices and how you live. So maybe you were bullied in high school or in middle school. Maybe you were raised by a single mother or father. Maybe you were fired from a job. And you know, if you were ever fired for a job, you know, there's one of two things. Maybe you were. Maybe you were a terrible employee. Maybe you were. But maybe you had a horrible boss and being fired from your job is the best thing that could ever happen to you because you were not going to make that step to leave the job. Maybe you were abused as a child, neglected. Maybe you've lost a child and you can't get out from under that deep seated sadness and emotion of losing a child. Maybe you lived with an addict. Maybe you're living with an addict right now. Maybe you grew up with an alcoholic parent. Maybe you are living with someone addicted to drugs or pornography or any type of addiction right now, today. Maybe you were cheated on by your spouse or in a relationship and you have a hard time trusting. So I'm going to go back to that original question. Think of something from your past that still has power over you. So identify that in your mind. And I want to tell you something. You are more than your circumstances. You are not defined by or confined by your circumstances. When you allow your circumstances to guide your life or dictate your life, you're going to be living very limitedly. You know, a lot of people were bullied growing up. But if you were bullied growing up doesn't mean you have to live like the bullied high school girl you were. Maybe you were raised by a single mother or father. Doesn't mean you have to be one. You can choose differently for yourself. You know, maybe you were fired from that job and your ego is bruised and your confidence in yourself and your abilities have been really, really questioned. But if you got fired from a job, you know, maybe you were a terrible employee, maybe you need to do some self work or maybe you had a horrible boss and that's the biggest blessing of your life to be fired from that job. And maybe you were cheated on in a relationship and now you have a hard time trusting and you're afraid to put yourself out there because you don't want to be hurt. Again, friends, you are not confined or defined by your circumstances. You are more than your circumstances. So you have to stop acting and thinking like a victim. Stop reliving the trauma, stop punishing yourself, thinking, maybe I should have done this, I could have done that. What if, what if, what if? Stop believing that you deserve the pain. Sometimes we just want to feel sorry for ourselves and we stay living in that painful space just so we don't have to move on, just so you don't have to confront the thing that's holding you back. That why me? Thing that is holding you back. But friends, stop believing that you deserve the pain and start seeking the purpose in every bad good situations. Because I'm here to tell you the greatest message that you will ever learn in your life comes from the mess. The greatest message comes from the messiest moments of your life. Because let's be honest, if life is good, like right now, if you're listening to this thinking, wow, this doesn't apply to me. Life is good. What are you learning right now? Probably not a darn thing. Because life is good. So why would you be worried about what do I have to learn? Because life is good. When life is good, you're not learning anything. You're Just living. You're just simply living. But when life is bad, when life is hard, when those challenges come to you, that's when you learn and grow. That's why I've always said your setbacks are setups. The greatest message comes in the mess. So every time a problem comes, every time something arises, train yourself to start seeking the lesson in each problem that comes your way. And don't even have to think about it. Just when something is going on and it feels like everything's going south, immediately start thinking about, okay, what am I learning here? How do I need to pivot? What do I need to do differently? Before you completely crash and burn, go to that place where you know something bad is coming, but you are going to pivot and you are going to turn something bad into something good. When you start seeking out the lesson from every problem, the message in the mess, you will slowly be transformed into the person that you were meant to be. Because you were born with a very specific set of gifts and talents and abilities. And as you go through those hard times in life, that's when all of your purpose is going to reveal itself to you. Every single trial is going to reveal your beautiful purpose. God has a very, very specific plan for you and he is going to show that plan to you in the middle of the mess. And you know, God can make something good out of everything bad. But we really need to trust and we need to trust him and trust that that is exactly what's happening. So in life, there are things that happened to you as a child, you know, things that you did not deserve, yet those things happened to you. And that I think we all have things that happened to us as a child that were out of our control, that happened to us. There are things in life that are result of your choices. There are bad things that happen because you made bad choices. And you have to be honest with yourself because you are the common denominator in every bad decision that you've ever made. You are the common denominator. Now, you might want to blame someone else, you might want to blame your so called best friend at the time, or blame your parents, or blame your teachers or whatever. But honestly, if you're being honest, you are the common denominator to every bad decision you have ever made. So take a little time to look at the you part of that. And some things are a result of your circumstances, some things are a result of things that are not in your control, that are your circumstances. But friends, whatever the reason, whatever the reason, if something happened to you as a child or because you made a bad decision or as a result of your circumstances. You were not meant to be a victim. You were not meant only to survive. I know you're a survivor and I'm a survivor too. But friends, you were meant to thrive as well. You were meant to thrive and you were meant to live your very, very best life. So I want to remind you of this, friends, the bad things in life, they truly, truly happen for you. And if you think you have things that are happening in your life to you, then you are living in a victim mentality. You're working from a VICT mindset. And that is not going to serve you as you dig out and go into your future. It's time, friends, to thrive. Truly, it's time for you to thrive. It's time to let it go. Let it go. Let go of the things that are holding you back. Find that purpose in your past. And when you look back to your past events, your past trauma, the things that happened to you at the time, seek out how those things have happened for you. You know, we've all had those moments where our lives are shattered, literally shattered on the floor. Everything you thought was your reality is not your reality. It's not your reality any longer. And you have to define a new reality. And that is so hard to do sometimes because let's be honest, we like to just sometimes play in the place of pity and self pity and you just don't want to do the work because it is work. But when you find that purpose in your past, when you see how things have happened for you, not to you, you will begin to turn all of those why me? Moments into why not me? And that's friends, when you get to thrive, and that is an incredible place to be. When you feel yourself thriving, when you feel that momentum of life pushing forward and you know that you are on the path of the greatest purpose that you have been given. And I want to remind you that we not only have to seek the purpose in the bad times, but we have to seek the purpose in the good times too. Have you ever had life going so well? Things were just hitting on all cylinders and things were going so well. Have you asked God why? What am I supposed to be doing with all of this incredible success that you have given me? There's something that he wants to do in you and through you. No matter what part of life you're in, whether you're coming out of a bad time or where you're basking in the good times, there's something. There's a purpose in every single moment. So, friends, I hope that you learn to love yourself from the inside out. Because when that happens, you will identify the big messages in those messes of life. You're going to be able to seek that past and understand that, okay? That's how that happened for me. And what can you do with your experience? Because the story that you are holding in your heart, the story that is holding you back right now, quite honestly, is somebody else's survival guide. You have what it takes to help someone through the loss of a child. You have what it takes to take someone through the loss of a job. You have what it takes to take someone through a failed marriage. Everything that happened to you has equipped you to be happening for you. So you can be someone else's survival guide. Think about that. What a beautiful thing, what a gift you have. So, friends, it's time to let it go. Find purpose in your past. Turn your why me? Moments into why not me? And learn to love yourself from the inside out. There's a beautiful life waiting, waiting for you, friends. Make it a great week. I'm so honored and grateful that you have joined me today. Make sure you mark your calendar for May 19th for that social media workshop. I cannot wait to present this information to you. You are going to love it. Check out my new merchandise on my website and let me know if you want in on that Self Care mastery course. I can get you in this week. Thank you so much, friends and have a great week.

Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We see you next time.