Where Will You Life Be One Year From Now?

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean, where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready, friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean.

Hello, friends, and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. Thanks for being here. So I want to talk to you today about kind of making some changes in your Life. The year 2020 is starting to wrap up. By the time you listen to this podcast, we are nearing the middle of November, which is so hard to believe. I feel like this has been the longest, slowest year I've ever experienced in my entire. Like, we're stuck in 2020, but yet I can't believe that it's almost over, that it's the middle of November. But what I want to talk to you about is planning and mapping what your new year and your new life could look like for you. What does that look like for you? So here is the big question of the day. If you look at where your life is today, right now, today, the good, the bad, the ugly, whatever, wherever your life is at, if you look at where it is today and you do nothing to change it, nothing to change it. So look at the areas where you have some pain points, you're having some issues, you're having some hard times. Look at that area, let's say you're having relationship issues where you are struggling with relationship, whether it's a marriage or you're in a dating situation where it just isn't going anywhere. You're in a marriage where you have been, it's been toxic and combative for years and years and years. You have a relationship with a family member that is strained. And typically strained relationships end up having a level of toxicity about them. So I want to ask you this question. If you do nothing to change anything, where will you be a year from now? Where will you be? I think it's important for us to put it into a context that if you do nothing about any of those things that are causing you pain, that are hardships in your life right now, honestly, where will you be a year from now? I think you know the answer to that. The year. The answer to that a year from now is you're going to be exactly where you are today. So if you're feeling like you're in this mode of desperation where you just cannot find, you know, see the forest through the trees of your relationships, then I think it's time, I don't think I truly believe and know that it's time that you Start making some changes. Now, I'm not talking about radical changes. I'm not talking about, you know, setting fire to the house or anything, but it's time to start making some changes. And this is where the change has to start. Regardless of what the relationship issue is, the change has to start with you. The first and foremost change is what you are thinking about your situation. Because you can get stuck in that mode where you just simply go through the motions. You go through the motions and you are on and in survival mode every single day. You literally are just trying to survive every single day. You build that wall around your heart, you build that wall around your soul, and you are literally in survival mode. Well, in order for you to start making those changes for those relationships, you have to start with yourself. You are the key to making changes. If you've been in a toxic relationship with someone and you are hoping and waiting for them to change, well, I hope, you know, friends that you might be waiting for a very long time because if the person you're with does not see that there are any problems or perhaps have no feelings that changes need to happen, then you are going to be waiting till the end of time. The change is not going to happen. And like I said, I'm not advocating that you make a big drastic move and change, but make a, a step. Number one, change can really be change with your mindset, change how you think. And in my life coaching course, Learning to Love Yourself from the Inside out, one of our modules is about retraining your brain and retraining how you think. So part of that is, you know, first of all, you think how you think your brain works the way it does and you think the way you do because of many different things, but primarily how you were raised and the environment in which you were raised and the environment in which you had relationships growing up with either childhood friends or adults, parents, family members, siblings, that have molded you as to how you think about yourself today. So step number one is you need to retrain your brain and rethink how you see yourself and how you see your life. And how you do that is start being true to yourself. Start being honest with you, being honest with yourself. What do you want out of life? What sets your soul on fire? What part of that relationship that you are struggling so much with is your fault? What part of that is your responsibility? What part of that have you contributed to? Because reality is you can, you can talk about the other person all day on how they're this, they're that, you know, if they, if they wouldn't just help out around the house or if they would pick up the kids once in a while, if they would just carry their weight, everything would be fine. But would it really? Is that really the problem in the relationship? Is that really the problem in the marriage? Is that really the problem with that friendship? And it might be, you know, truly it might be. But oftentimes those types of complaints and those types of issues are just surface problems. But there are deep seated issues that are really the problem. And that's what you need to get to, is those deep seated issues. That's so, so important. So I'm going to just ask you the question again. If you do nothing to change the toxic relationships that you are in today, where will you be one year from now? And I think we both know the answer to that. So I want to encourage you, I want to encourage you to start making the changes in you. Because that's where it all begins. It all starts with you. You might need to change your mindset because you cannot control other people. You can't. I don't care how much influence you have on someone, you cannot control other people to think the way you, you want them to think, to act the way you want them to act. You have no control over those things. All that does is makes you codependent in controlling. And even though being a controlling person and a codependent person, because being controlling turns into codependency, quite honestly, even though your controlling is coming out of complete every area of pure love for another human being, it doesn't mean that you're not trying to control them. So control, no matter where it's coming from, whether it's coming from the goodness of your heart, out of complete and absolute love and devotion, trying to control another person is not a good thing. You be in charge of you and let them be in charge of them. And come to the realization that you cannot love another person to be who you want them to be, to be who you think they can be, to act a certain way, to make good decisions. You cannot control that. All you can control is you and live your life by good example and hope and pray that the person you're with sees the beauty in your life and wants that for their life as well. But you can't make someone want that. You can't make someone want to have what you have. You can just do you and live your life to your very best version of yourself. So the next category I want to talk about is your career. Are you in a Career that you love? Are you getting up every day, going to work, punching a time clock and in love with what you're doing? Do you dread getting up in the morning? Do you dread going to work? Do you watch the last seconds, click off the clock so you can clock out and head home? Is that where you're at in your life? Friends, if you don't like your career, you will be spending more time in your career, in your job than than you will even at home. That's sadly a reality for many people. You are in control of your career path. You have a mindset that you can shift, a narrative that you can change in your own life and start making those changes. No more excuses. No more excuses of well, I don't have a college degree so I can't do this or I can't do that. Well then go get your college degree, start taking online courses, do it at night, do it on the weekends, get the degree that you need to get to have the job you want to have. Are you getting up every day and just punching the time clock for money? Only if the only reason you're doing what you're doing every day for most of your life is only because of money, your heart and your soul will drain dry. Thinking beyond yourself in your career and in your life is so very important for you to love who you are and love the mission that you have for your life. You have unique and beautiful, incredible gifts and strengths and abilities and capabilities. There's something so special and unique that you are meant to be doing every single day that impacts other people. Look outside of yourself and your career. What gift do I have that I can do in a career or in a work atmosphere that can enrich the lives of other people? What does that look like for you? Friends, Life is way too short. Way, way too short. I attended a funeral this week. 59 year old man who lived life to the fullest, healthy, fit in shape and left this earth way too soon. Way too soon. Friends, don't waste your life, don't waste your time. It's too precious, it's too important. So what is burning in your heart? What is burning in your soul right now? That oh I wish I would have done this, I wish I would have done that. Friends, do it. Stop wishing and start doing. Get your resume updated. Get your get your career path mapped out. Do something different. Find your purpose. Find your life mission. What is your life mission? Do you have a mission statement for your life? What are you doing with the God given gifts and abilities? What are you doing with them? Are you wasting them? Are you simply punching a time clock just so you can make a lot of money? Is that why you're doing it? Your why for what you do has to be beyond yourself for you to live a fulfilled, peaceful, content life. Life. What you do every day has to be beyond yourself. And the sooner you start thinking beyond yourself, I promise you, friends, life is going to come back and give to you tenfold. Absolutely tenfold. And my final question for you is this. So we've talked about kind of the, the bad and the ugly of your life. Relationships work. If you're not happy there, what are you doing with the good things in your life? What are you doing with the good things in your life to make them even better? So maybe you reached a goal this year of donating a certain amount of money to a cause or a philanthropy, or you've donated your time or you've done something really, really special for other people. There's so many people in need right now in organizations. Everything from, from the animal shelters, which that is something very close to my heart. Places like the Demand Project, which locally here in Tulsa, Oklahoma does sex trafficking work. And an incredible organization. What is passionate to you? What are the good things that you are giving in life and doing in your life? What are those friends, how can you move the needle a year from now? How can you make all of those good things even better? What can you do to move the needle? Volunteer, Sign up, Get certified, Pitch in, help out? Friends, life is way too short for you to not live your very best life. It's way too short for you to not live and love every single day. It really is. So one of the things that is passionate to me and one of my life goals is I want to empower women, to empower more women. Which is why I started this podcast, which is why I started my coaching programs, which is why in the next month and a half, I'll be launching an all new digital course where you can go through a set of 11 modules and do some hard work on yourself and work in your life to live the very best life that you want. So a year from now when we are having a conversation, you are going to say, oh my gosh, I moved the needle. The difference a year makes is incredible and amazing, but it will not happen by itself. You have to jump in and do the hard work. I have this new course that's going to be launching soon. I hope that you'll consider being a part of it. It is so incredible. If you Want more information, just send me an email or connect with me on social media. Most of you that follow me know how to get a hold of me, but my email address is pamela jean new life.com. nope, I'm sorry, eliminate that. It is Pamela Jean A New Life Gmail. There we go. And I'll post it in the description of this podcast as well. Because friends, you have to do the hard work. If you want your life to be different, then you have to live your life differently. It starts with retraining your brain. It starts with retraining how you think about yourself and how you live life, taking responsibility for your part and for honestly just being buckling down and doing the hard work. I look forward to working with all of you and I'm so grateful that you tune in and listen. I hope this is inspiring. It inspires me to talk about things that will move the needle in your life. Now, next week podcast is going to be about navigating through the holidays because the holidays are coming up so fast. So we're going to talk about some really, really good tips on getting through the holidays. Because let's face it, holidays are hard. I think every one of us could honestly say that we've had a disappointing holiday for one reason or another. And I want us to come together and talk about how we can navigate through those holidays with success and create some new memories and reach some new levels of happiness and joy in your life. So friends, thank you so much for joining me. I absolutely, absolutely love and adore each and every one of you. Together, we are going to create that new life for you.

Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We will see you next time.