YOU CAN’T WAIT UNTIL LIFE ISN’T HARD…TO DECIDE TO BE HAPPY.

Welcome to A New Life podcast with Pamela Jean where it's all about empowering women to empower more women. Get ready friends, to create a new life. And here is your host, Pamela Jean.

Hello my friends and welcome to this week's episode of A New Life podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I want to give you an opportunity to get connect with me and the community on a much deeper level. I have a private Facebook group called Pamela Jean A new Life. Do a quick little search, ask to join. It'll ask you just a couple quick little questions to show that you're not a robot or a spammer because we don't want any of that in that group. I would love to have you join me in that group. We will talk about a lot of different things. It's a place for you to ask questions. It's a wonderful community of women supporting women. So if you would like to join that group, just go to Facebook and do a search for a new Life group and I will get you set up to be in there. If you have any questions about anything, you're always welcome to send me a DM or an email. My email is posted in the show notes, so definitely send me an email if there's anything that I can help you with. So the episode today is titled when will you decide to be happy? I heard a quote the other day that I wanted to share with you. It just hit me so hard. So I knew I needed to do a podcast on this topic and it was this. You can't wait until life isn't hard to decide to be happy. And you know, stop and think about that. A lot of times it's the hard times in life that are what make us unhappy or we allow to make us unhappy. But you can't wait until life isn't hard to decide to be happy. If you did that, you'd be waiting forever. So if we sat in waiting, we would never choose happiness. Life as you know, is full of disruptions. And most of those disruptions are nothing that you could ever plan for. They're things that hit you out of the blue every single day. We're faced with obstacles. We may have made a plan for the day, but it doesn't happen because things come up that are out of our control and we are interrupted with day to day issues. Some of those things are small and annoying. Like you spilled your coffee on your white pants as you head out the door. Which is why you won't see me wearing white pants very often. Because every time I Do I seem to spill? Or one of your kids gets sick in the car on the way to school. Other interruptions are life altering and shattering. You or a family member get a cancer diagnosis, you find out your spouse has been unfaithful. You're let go from your job. You know, gosh, those are big and heavy. Definitely the life altering, shattering moments. But why would you wait for a cancer diagnosis to decide to live your best life? Why would you wait for that? To create the happiness that you deserve in your life today. Take a moment and think about the happiest person you know. Just pause for a moment and think about, okay, who is the happiest person that you know? I want you to picture them in your mind right now. I want to share with you one of the happiest people I have ever met in my entire life. His name is Emmett. In the town where I used to live, there was a man who walked the entire downtown area. As he walked the sidewalks, he would smile and wave at every single car that passed by. Smile, walk, wave and repeat. Smile, walk, wave. Literally every day, 365 days out of the year. It didn't matter if it was sweltering heat and humidity or or if it was freezing cold, rain or snow. You could count on Emmett walking the streets. Smile, walk, wave at everybody. I had the opportunity to get to know Emmett well and he absolutely loved people. He loved people. He is an incredible artist and he's honest to a fault sometimes and very, very kind. Emmett isn't happy because he lives in a big house with a white picket fence, or because he has a fancy car or because he has a booming business or a successful career. Emmett is a simple man. He doesn't live a life with abundance of stuff. He lives with an abundant heart. There's so much that you and I and everyone else can learn from a man like Emmett. He lives with an abundant heart, not the abundance of stuff. He lives with a full heart and love for people. So what about you? What is happening in your life that is keeping you from happiness? What are you letting stand in your way of being happy on a daily basis? Well, a place to start is to write. Write it all down. Start writing a list of all of the things that you complain about to your best friend every day. Seriously, be honest with yourself and think about what you say. What irks you? What do you complain about? Identify those things and write them down. Get your journal out so you can start writing them down. Think about the last conversation you had with your best friend. I can't stand it when my boss fill in the blank. It drives me nuts when my mother does. It makes me crazy when my husband does fill in the blank. Again, these are just a few examples, but I think you get the idea. So think about the last several conversations that you had with your best friend and think about the things that you complain about on a daily basis or the things that go through your head that just drive you crazy. And if you can't think of them, call your best friend and ask, what are the things I've been complaining about lately? Because sometimes we can't even see our own stuff. If that makes sense. So what is the solution? Do you think there's a chance in the world that your boss is going to change the thing that drives you crazy? You can't stand it when your boss does something. Do you think your boss is going to change? Most likely not. You have options. You could potentially go get another job. You need to maybe remove yourself from the situation as best you can. But honestly, you are the one that needs to change. You know your boss most likely isn't going to change. You need to change how you respond. You're in control of your thoughts. You really are. You're in control of your thoughts, your emotions and how you feel. You're in control of those things. So your boss is not going to change because they're your boss. You can change your reaction to your boss. You are in charge of your thoughts and your emotions. So what about your mother? Do you think she'll be changing anytime soon? Do you think if you confront her with the issues that you have that she's going to look at you and say, you know what, you're right, I'm the one who needs to change? Well, if you've ever had any issues with your parents, you'll know that that's really never going to happen. Chances are she is who she is. And no, my friends, she will not be changing. And the thing that drives you nuts is something you will have to learn to get over. We can always change our response to something someone else does. And what about your spouse or relationship? Any chance they will be changing? I think we both know the answer to that. If you have the maturity and the dedication to work on yourself, the issues you have with others will become so much more manageable. In fact, the things that used to be the big things will begin to fall into a more realistic category of small and petty and really no big deal at all. So stop and think about that. Are the things that are bothering you about your spouse. Is it really your spouse or is it your reaction to your spouse about something? You know life is going to throw us curveball after curveball. Things will happen that are completely out of your control. That is a fact. But the one thing in life that you will always be in control of is your reaction to what is happening around you. You are in control of you and my friends, that is a beautiful thing. True happiness comes once you have done the hard work and embrace the idea that you cannot control others and circumstances. You can't and only you can control your reaction to them. Trust me when I say the weight of the world is lifted. Once you have your emotions in check and take responsibility for your own happiness. Pick your battles and win your wars if you will. Because there's so much truth to that. Now. Once you've done the hard, hard work on yourself, the self love, establishing your self worth, know your value, own your truth and face all of those things that are your insecurities. Because our insecurities oftentimes become the things that we have issues with other people. It's our own insecurities and we have to get those in check. Once you do all of that self care, all of that self love and believe in yourself and truly find happiness from within. Because happiness is an inside job. It is. I promise you that's true. I know you want the weight of the world to be lifted and you can get your emotions in check and take responsibility for your own happiness. Friends, I know you can do it. So think about the happiest person you know. For me it was Emmett and I understand fully what makes him so happy. It's he lives with an abundant heart. He doesn't live in abundance. It doesn't matter how nice of a car you drive, how big of a house you own, if you don't live with an abundant heart, none of that will matter and none of that will make you happy. When you think about that person for you in your life, write down what makes them happy. Why is that person so unconditionally happy all the time and figure out how you can create that for your own life. Because friends, you deserve that. I know you want that and you absolutely deserve to have that. With that, my friends, I'm going to wish you a fantastic week. I hope you're doing well on your goals and reaching for all of those dreams. I hope you're getting out of your own way and learning to stop this self sabotage and learn to live your very best life. Friends, thank you so much again for joining me. I appreciate you more than you realize. I think of you all the time. This community means the world to me. God bless you and have an amazing week.

Thank you for joining us today on a New Life podcast. We will see you next time.