Pete Alexander2x TEDx Speaker and best-selling author helping transform burned out workers into engaged colleagues.

Stress Relief Tool - Avoid the Victim Mentality

10 Jul 2019 · 1 min

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1:27

A man who grew up in a dysfunctional family describes how he stopped blaming others and learned self-compassion through a 12-step program. He offers a stress-relief exercise: ask if anyone on Earth is suffering more than you right now, then use that answer to shift your perspective and lower your stress.

Chapters

Avoiding the victim mentality was an important part of my early stress relief efforts. The severe family dysfunction that I experienced as a child made me become a very angry young adult who blamed everyone for everything, whether it was my boss, my parents, my friends. Fortunately for me, I discovered a 12-step program called Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families, and through that program I discovered ways to like and love myself and to become my own loving parent. I've been a member of that program since 1990. Everyone has a story of struggle to share. Some people define themselves by it, and others act in spite of it. The important thing to remember is that your past will only be your future if you carry it there. You can take action at any time to change your attitude, especially if you ask this question: Is there anyone on this planet having it worse than me right now? Take your answer to heart. Pick yourself back up and notice your outlook improving and your stress level reducing.