Pete Alexander2x TEDx Speaker and best-selling author helping transform burned out workers into engaged colleagues.

Stress Relief Tool - Love Yourself First

10 Mar 2021 · 2 min

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2:12

In this monologue, the speaker uses the familiar airplane oxygen‑mask safety instruction as a metaphor for self‑care, arguing that you must put on your own mask before helping others. He recounts a personal turning point when he entered the Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) 12‑step recovery program in 1990, where he learned to like and then love himself without feeling selfish. He credits ACA with saving his life and describes self‑love as a habit that yields numerous positive outcomes: reduced anger, forgiveness, acceptance, increased energy, gratitude, less judgment, blossoming creativity, comfort with change, joy, and the possibility of finding true love. The overall message is that prioritizing self‑love reduces stress and improves overall well‑being.

Chapters

Think back to any commercial flight you may have taken. One of the flight attendants would have either spoken the pre-flight safety instructions, or you would have watched a video of these instructions. Either way, when the part about the oxygen masks deploying came up, the instructions say to put the mask on yourself before putting it on a child. Or someone acting like a child, but I digress. The reason for this instruction is because you may not be able to function if you don't take care of yourself first. And if you're not able to function, you cannot help your child. The same goes for loving yourself. If you don't love yourself first, you are going to have a much more difficult time sustaining love for others. This was an epiphany learning moment for me when I entered a 12-step recovery program called ACA way back in 1990. When I entered the program, I didn't like myself, and I carried a lot of anger. The program taught me to first like myself and then love myself and not feel selfish about making this action my priority. I credit the ACA program for truly saving my life. When self-love becomes a habit, you can experience the following positive changes in your life: anger will minimize, you will finally forgive and be forgiven, you'll find acceptance, you'll start to feel better and more energized, gratitude will enter your life, you won't judge others, your creativity will blossom, you'll be more comfortable with change, you'll find joy, and true love may find you. So start loving yourself first and reduce your stress in the process.