Pete Alexander2x TEDx Speaker and best-selling author helping transform burned out workers into engaged colleagues.

Stress Relief Tool - Realize You Cannot Do It All

12 Dec 2018 · 1 min

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A perfectionist raised by a critical father learns to let go by choosing what to fail at. Focus on what matters, delegate the rest, and stop trying to excel at everything. The shift from striving for perfection to accepting imperfection reduces stress and actually makes you more effective.

Chapters

I grew up a perfectionist because I was always striving for my dad's approval. No matter what I excelled at as a child, my dad would always find something to nitpick. Great example was if I brought home an A- on my report card, my dad would ask, "Why didn't you get an A?" Fortunately, with some self-help techniques as an adult, I was able to overcome that, and I even had the wonderful opportunity to make amends with my dad when he was in hospice. I came to find out during his last days that he was truly proud of me, and that also helped me overcome my need to be a perfectionist. Not being a perfectionist means that to be good at one thing, you have to be bad at something else. So what should you do once you realize that you can't do everything? You come up with a strategy. And the best strategy that I've found is to choose what to bomb at and succeed at the goals that matter. So try delegating the ones you cannot possibly get to and be okay with not being a perfectionist. Bombs away!