In this video, Pete Alexander addresses the heightened frequency of family arguments during COVID‑19 lockdowns and offers practical, low‑effort strategies to reduce the stress that follows such disputes. He introduces the STOP method—pause, take deep breaths, observe personal reactions, and then re‑engage—paired with advice to actively listen, avoid absolute language (like “always” or “never”) and accusatory “you” statements, and instead use softer qualifiers such as “sometimes.” Alexander also recommends framing discussions with inclusive “we” statements to promote collaboration rather than blame. The overall message is that by applying these simple communication techniques, individuals can de‑escalate arguments, preserve family relationships, and demonstrate love and respect for one another, especially when families are spending more time together at home.
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We've all been there—arguing with a family member and we end up saying something that we regret later, or we experience lingering negative emotions because of that encounter. This becomes an even more common occurrence if we are spending more time at home because of COVID-19 restrictions. While we likely cannot avoid all of the conflict We can reduce the negative stress surrounding these encounters utilizing one or more of the following techniques: Use the STOP Method. If you're caught in a family dispute and the situation is reaching the boiling point, you should stop responding and excuse yourself, such as to the bathroom or another empty room. Take a few deep breaths. Observe on your own how you feel and what triggered you—your thoughts, your emotions, and your physical response—and then proceed back into the original room once you have composed and grounded yourself. You should also actively listen to the other person. Listening builds trust. When we listen—that is, truly listen—to someone, we communicate that they are important to us and have something valuable to contribute. Show mutual respect and listen to each other's viewpoints. It's the best way to resolve an argument. Avoid saying "always," "never," and "you." "Always" and "never" are indefinite qualifiers that usually make a statement make the statement more hostile. "You never do your share," and "You always mess everything up." These statements aren't helpful, and they do nothing but fan the flames of conflict. If you must address an issue with a friend or family member, "sometimes" can make him or her feel less defensive. This also goes for the word "you." Saying something like, "you are just like your mother" can make matters worse. To de-escalate a family argument, be inclusive and make "we" statements. For example, "Can we sit down together and go over the bills to create a more feasible budget?" This demonstrates that you are willing to work together for a solution instead of blaming or resorting to the victim mentality. The next time you find yourself in an unwanted family argument, Give one of these techniques a try to avoid any unnecessary stress. Remember that your family loves you, and this is another way you can demonstrate your love for them.
