When co-founders clash, blaming the other person backfires. The real issue is usually the jump from friends to formal partners, which creates mismatched expectations. Listen to their perspective first, then examine your own role, then explore concrete fixes like role changes or exits.
Founder conflict. It is very common when I talk to clients that they bring up the fact that their co-founder or the founder that they may be working for, if they're just a level below, is causing some kind of conflict. And conflict is an interesting thing, right? Because who is causing it is is actually the wrong way to approach it. There are 2 people in some kind of work relationship or in a dialogue, and for whatever reason, they don't see eye to eye. They're not at the, at the same level of either understanding or appreciation of what the other person brings to, to the table. And so, the first thing I talk to Well, first I listen when a founder brings up that her co-founder or his co-founder is a challenge in some way. I listen to what they're actually saying. And oftentimes it's a growth problem. It's because they've gone from being, you know, the 2 people in the garage, best friends, to now becoming more of like business partners. The conversations that they have are different. It's more about running larger operations that require And so what we try to do is we go in and say, all right, so let's say that your co-founder is not up to the task. She is overwhelmed. She doesn't necessarily follow through on the things you agree to. She may be in a poor mood. She may affect the company culture. There might be all these different things that's happening with her. And so what we try to do is we go in and say, all right, So oftentimes my client has a hard time doing something about that because they feel a sense of loyalty and they, of course, care for this person. So they don't just want to sit them down and be like, listen, this, this is not working anymore. You got to go. So we try to figure out, okay, how can we look at this person with some level of empathy? How can we say, all right, they're in this situation because why? Is she operating or not operating as well as we want her to? And oftentimes it's literally because the ship that they're sailing has gotten too big and there are too many things that they don't know how to do, but they also don't necessarily feel like there's room and space to ask for help. And they certainly do not want to raise their hand saying, you know what, I don't think I'm up for this task. Maybe I should be doing something else for the firm. So as we've established that, we then get into, okay, how can we help this person move on to something that's better for them and better for the business? And that is a tough conversation to have. And so I get involved and I spend time with each of the co-founders individually, and sometimes I spend time with them collectively as well. And we're like, all right, we all have to take the perspective of what's best for the business. Are there any things that we need to be doing differently? And so in many ways, it starts kind of as a couple's therapy, if you will, and then it evolves to a more tactical and strategic discussion. And in most cases, the founders afterwards are in much better places. They're still friends. They still respect and care for each other. And Nobody has really gotten their feelings hurt, but it's a process of discovery with each other and self-discovery about what actually is important. So if you find yourself in this situation where you and your co-founder are not seeing eye to eye, try to do the following. One, really look at it from their perspective. How has their world changed? What is it specifically about what's happening that's not working. Second, how are you contributing to that? So the role that you're playing in the business, the things that you're doing, how could that be contributing perhaps to this being difficult for the other person to execute or to be in the mindset that you both actually want or that you're asking them to do? And then third, what are the options from here? You know, the person leaves the business, the person does something else in the business, you leave the business, you do something else in the business. Look at all the different components and try to find a way to say, what is the best thing for the company? And that might require you to do something else, it might require them to do something else, it might require somebody else altogether coming in and taking over and you going back to being Perhaps specialists where you started. But you really do need to look at all the options before you determine and decide that it's the other person that's the issue. At the end of that, come to them with care, love, and respect and say, what's— I've been battling with this issue, I've been dealing with it, I'd like to talk to you about it. I have some ideas, I've gathered some thoughts, we can start there. Or are you happy with the way things are and why are you not happy? And then essentially try to guide them through the same 3 steps. And I think at the end of it, both of you will be happier, both of you will be in a better place, and everybody can move on to create the best company that you can together or the best companies you can individually.
