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When someone gets defensive, check your tone first, then figure out what's triggering them and how to dial it back. Two concrete moves that work in personal and professional conflicts.
When someone gets defensive, check your tone first, then figure out what's triggering them and how to dial it back. Two concrete moves that work in personal and professional conflicts.
All of us experience conflict in our personal and professional lives. And so if you find yourself in a situation where someone is being really defensive, there are 2 things that you can do to immediately alleviate the situation. Number one is you can ask yourself, have I communicated in a certain way, not what I said, but how I said it, that can cause them to be defensive or feel upset? And the second thing is, ask yourself, why are they feeling upset? What is it about what we're talking about that's triggering something in them that causes them to be defensive and maybe overly aggressive with you rather than listening to what you're actually saying? So, 2 things. How are you saying what you're saying? And why might the other person be triggered by it? And what can you do to alleviate that?
