Addiction and Trauma (What's the connection?)

Do all people who struggle with addiction have some sort of underlying trauma? That's what we're going to cover in today's video. And we're actually going to take a fairly in depth look into that and be sure and watch this whole video. Because in the end, we're going to learn a really important truth when it comes to this topic. So if you're new here, welcome to Put the Shovel Down. I'm Amber Hollingsworth and this YouTube channel is all about helping you understand the science and psychology of addiction. I consider it my job to make sure that you know everything that you need to know and you're always five steps ahead of it so that you can get your life and your loved ones back on track and get back to living the life that you want to live. Okay, let's get into our topic now. There's a foundational piece of information that I need you to know and understand before we go any further. And that is that human beings have an innate need for. For a sense of meaning, purpose and connection. And those needs are pretty specific just to humans. No other animals in the animal kingdom have to have. Have this internal need for meaning and purpose. Some other mammals have a need for connection, but humans are really the ones that have that sort of trio need of meaning, purpose and connection. I call those your spiritual needs. And I do think to some degree, every person struggling with addiction is having a lot of trouble getting those spiritual needs met. And that is the underlying condition causing or triggering or keeping the addiction going. So is there always something underlying addiction? Yes, I think there's always this lack of a really good effective way to get those spiritual needs met. Now, is there really trauma in the traditional sense? Well, child defined in just a second underneath every addiction? No, I really don't think that that's the case. Sometimes that's the case. And we'll talk more about that in just a second. But first, let's define what I mean when I say trauma. In a traditional sense. The word trauma means that a person has gone through some kind of really horrifying, terrifying experience in their life. Sometimes that's a one time event, like a robbery or a rape or a hurricane or some other really horrible terrifying situation in which the person thinks either they're gonna die or they've watched someone else die, something really bad. And then there's this other kind of situation called complex trauma, which is a newer ish term in mental health, which is when someone has lived through something over a period of time that was terrifying, scary, or Traumatic. So it's not just a one time event. Things like this would be if someone grows up in a really abusive home, or they're in an abusive relationship, or they're a soldier who's been in active duty during war, those type of things. It's more of a span of time over a process than it was a one time event. That's the traditional kind of way to look at trauma. Now, I can personally assure you that not every person that has addiction has that kind of trauma. Because a lot of the people that we see in our office are really successful people. They came from great backgrounds, they had loving families. And these people that come into my office like that, they're oftentimes really confused and frustrated. You know, why did I have the addiction? And not only are they confused and frustrated about it, but their families are even more confused and frustrated about it. Like how did this person and up with an addiction? And really, I mean, we've all had bad things happen to us, but they've never had anything extreme happen to them. Now, it is true that people with trauma have a much, much higher rate for developing an addiction than other people. So let's take a look at why that is. Because when you experience a trauma, like we just talked about one of those kinds of traumas, either the singular event or the complex kind, then what's happening, whatever happened to you is sort of shattered. Your fight or flight response in your brain, it's caused an anxiety. This thing that happened to you has caused an anxiety disorder a lot of times that we call post traumatic stress disorder. And when you've had that kind of trauma, your brain switches into this constant survival mode, this constant fight or flight mode, which then overrides a person's ability, connection, meaning, purpose, and those sort of things. Because you're constantly in survival mode. It's kind of like your limbic system, that emotional part of your brain has to be calm enough to feel connection to other people. And if it's constantly on alert, like those alarm bells are going off, then you could see why this person now is hardwired for survival and not hardwired for connection the way that they maybe were before the trauma. So the trauma itself is one of the things that can create this spirit deficit, this problem with getting those meaning, purpose and connection needs met. So trauma is one of the ways. But let's take a look at some other things or factors that can happen that could also create problems for a person where they're not able to get those needs met very well. Sometimes People never really learn how to get their spiritual needs met. I had some conversations with a few clients lately, and in our group about how we don't really do a very good job of teaching our children how to get those needs met. We talk to them about how to manage finances, and we talk to them about how to stay healthy and eat good foods and how to know when they're hungry and they're tired and they're sleepy. But there's just not very many conversations between parents and kids, definitely not in school, usually, about how to get those needs met of connection, meaning, and purpose. At least not overt conversations. A lot of families may model this really well, but it's not something that you typically see talked about. Even in really religious families, you don't see those core principles talked about a lot. So sometimes growing up, people just don't learn how to get those needs met very well. And that can be an underlying cause of why they're more prone to developing an addiction. Another reason why someone might have a difficult time getting those needs met could be some sort of attachment issue. Now, that attachment issue, I've got a whole video about that. You can watch it later. I'll try to link it up here for you in case you want to. See. That has to do with the way attachment bonds are formed at birth. And they just because of the way that attachment got wired in their brain, it didn't get wired correctly. And that creates problems for that person for creating sustained, meaningful relationships. So attachment issues can be one of those reasons. Okay, here's another reason why someone might be having trouble getting those needs met. Maybe everything worked fine in childhood. Maybe everything was great. Maybe they didn't have this big traumatic event. But maybe they're experiencing some sort of major loss or grief, and now all of a sudden, they're sort of plummeted into a depressive state. And now they're not getting those needs met. It's when we're grieving, when we've had a recent loss, that we're so much more prone to addiction. Another possible reason why someone might be struggling with this is just maybe the fact that they have this job that they work at every day. They spend most of the hours of their life there, and they really feel like they hate that job, or they have no sense of meaning or purpose. Maybe they work in a factory and they literally do the same thing over and over and over again each day, and they don't really get any sort of personal or emotional satisfaction out of that. And if that same person doesn't have some really fulfilling relationships going on in their life. It's like they just don't have anywhere that they're getting that need met. If they just don't have anywhere that they're getting those needs met for connection, meaning and purpose, then there are a lot more vulnerable for addiction. Now, obviously, what I have just told you is not an exhaustive list for things that could have happened to someone or are happening to someone that can cause them to be more vulnerable to addictions. But what I do want you to understand from that is that there are lots of things that can create this sort of missing piece that people describe that makes them more likely to have an addiction and makes it much harder for them to stop. Now, here's that really important truth that I told you. I was going to tell you about this whole issue, But I want you to be ready for it. Because this might be a little difficult piece of truth to kind of take in. So just a fair warning ahead of time. So the truth of the matter is explanation is not an excuse. What I'm saying here is, even though we can look at almost any situation and see why a person is doing what they're doing, we can kind of, if we ask them enough questions and we look in their history, we can find this deficit, we can find this problem, and we can even have empathy for them. Or empathy for yourself if this is you. I get that. But it's really important if you are struggling with an addiction or your loved one is struggling with an addiction, not to let this empathy for yourself or for them serve as an excuse for making bad decisions. Because I can promise you, even if I can understand why you're struggling with addiction, I can promise you that that addiction is doing a terrible, terrible job of getting those needs met. They're basically just putting like a numbing oil on top of that. And likely what's happening is if you're struggling with that is you are maybe not on purpose, but inadvertently causing some of these traumatic, lost things for the people around you, which is then making them more vulnerable for addiction. So now, since you're kind of already in this mindset, the next video I want you to watch is that one I mentioned earlier about attachment and addiction. I'm going to put it right up here and you can watch that next.