Advice For Families of Addicts- Where can families turn for help?

Hey, this video is about talking to other people about your loved one's substance abuse problem, drugs or alcohol. So that means if this is your kid that's having a problem, should you be talking to your sister and your parents and your neighbor and your best friend about it? If it's your spouse, same thing. Here's the deal. You're going to be going through a lot. If you have someone that you love and care about, this has an addiction issue, you're going to need someone to talk to. But you need to be selective in where and how you do that. The best thing would be get a counselor. Get a substance abuse counselor. Not because you have a substance abuse problem, but because they're going to understand what's going on and they're going to be able to talk you through it and give you some good advice. But maybe that's not possible, or you can't afford it, or it's just not immediately available. That's okay. But maybe you have a friend who's been through this or someone that knows something about recovery, or you have a friend or a loved one who's at least like, super good listener and good understanding and just generally good advice. They're just wise, and they're just a good person to talk to. Find a person or two that you totally trust and can confide in to help you through this situation. Do not be going around talking to all your cousins and your neighbor and your mama and everybody else about this problem. Because two reasons. Number one reason they don't give you bad advice. Because they don't know what they're talking about. And they're going to do a lot of what I call big talking. Big talking means things like this. If I was you, I do this, or if I was you, I tell you what I do, I wouldn't put up with that. I'd tell you this. Or you're going to feel like they might be saying, oh, you poor thing. But they might be secretly, like, judging you about this problem. They might think, oh, my kid would never do that, or my husband, I wouldn't do that. So you're either. You might get a bunch of judgment and you might get a bunch of bad advice if you're talking to the wrong people about it. So this problem is difficult enough. Spare yourself. You don't need that. That is not helpful. Number two reason not to just be talking with everyone about this is because it embarrasses and humiliates your loved one, the person that you care about, the person that you're trying to get help. And you may be thinking, I don't care. That little jerk ball. I don't care if they're embarrassed. But you do care, and you love them. And it's just going to be one more thing that they're going to hate you and resent you for and be mad at you because you're telling their business all over the place. And remember, your relationship is the most important thing. You have to leverage this person into recovery. Don't damage it because of that. They don't want to feel judged by everybody. You don't want to feel judged by everybody. You do need someone to talk to. Be smart. Pick a person that you can trust or to use them as the people that you confide in. And other people, if they ask you, can just sort of give a vague statement like, man, we're working on it. Or, you know, one day at a time. You can kind of give a general. You don't have to necessarily lie, but I just really would not go and confide in a bunch of people because telling you it won't turn out good. Your loved ones gonna be mad at you, and they're not gonna be that helpful anyways. And you might even feel worse coming out of those conversations because you're gonna feel like, is this my fault? I feel guilty. Maybe I'm not tough enough. Maybe I'm not enough. Whatever it is, it's just not gonna be helpful. So be selective in who you talk.